Past Hearts & Beyond
by ForThoseWhoLikeToMoveItMoveIt
Summary: He never left the penguin's mind. Not once. Skans fic. Rated T for later chapters.
1. Prologue

"_Mr. Søpapegøje, do you know why it is you are here?"_

He blinked, and looked around. The room was a bit too dark for his gold eyes to adjust to the dimness of the atmosphere. What was it with Danish security and the dramatic effect? They also liked to act scary, all tough and threatening. Which they actually _were_, but eh what are you going to do about it? There was no changing the Denmark democracy…

The suited man glared at him, stomping forward and towering over him, exasperated. "Well?!"

He blinked again. "Uh, well what?"

"Do you know why you are here?!"

"Oh, that. Well no, not really. I do not know why I am in this dark and menacing room with you…"

"You precisely opened fire on a squad of unarmed Danish security personnel…" The man stated blatantly.

"…Was I not supposed to do that?"

"I was among those in the squad when you have shot!"

"It was an accident, officer, I swear…" His sly Danish accent failed him at this point and it came out as a nervous chuckle. "I did not mean to shoot at you…"

"Really," The man said, flipping open a piece of paper and squinting to read it. He didn't know how the man was able to see anything, there was barely any light in this room he woke up in. The uniformed officer continued, looking down at the paper in his hand. "Because it is on this incident report, it has you, blasting about, laughing and shouting, and I quote you..._'Ha ha ha! I blast all of you, so much! Ha ha…ha!_'" The man stopped reading. "Would you care to explain that?"

"Heh…well…that could have been anybody…" The small animal rubbed the back of his feathered neck, eyes darting back and forth. "Anybody that was not _me_ that is…"

"What about _this_?"

He watched as photos were slapped down hard on the table in front of him, and he blinked, throat getting suddenly very dry as he glanced over each photo. Each one of the three were of him, laughing, and firing down on some fleeing Danish security agents. He coughed awkwardly and shrunk back into his seat. He was silent for the longest, feeling the man's intense gaze on him, but he didn't look up, until he played his luck. "…Those are doctored I can assure you…"

"**ENOUGH!**" The man yelled at him and banged a fist down powerfully on the metal table. Enough so that the sound echoed throughout the room and he cringed at it. "It was you! And we know who you are Mr. Søpapegøje! Even before this little incident last week, we have kept top secret files on you! Although they are of less importance than the ones kept in the very top of the Danish embassy…"

He pouted at that. Why is it that that penguin got all the good stuff?

The officer gladly went on, pleased that he had struck a nerve. "Do you not remember the tragedy in _Copenhagen_? That day has gone down in history, and it is a day that will live on! But you…!" The man had begun pacing irritably in front of him. "Sadly, will not live to see another. You _dare_ fire at my men? And you think you shall live to tell the tale? PAH! You have not yet seen consequence before this day!"

The bird sighed through his bright colored beak. "You are right…" He looked down, faking guilt. Then he looked up, and started rolling his wounded shoulder that wore clean white bandages. It was taken care of nicely. One would not have been able to tell there was even a bullet in it before. "But you did manage to get a shot at me, and I was not able to get a single shot in at _any _of you…So…doesn't it work itself out?" Hans asked hopefully. "Can I not go home now Mr. chief and head of Danish police?"

"NO!" The chief shouted over him. "You do not even know what it is you are dealing with!"

"You are right." Hans nodded. "I sorry for shooting at your squad, it was very bad of Hans! Now can I please go back to Hoboken?"

"You aren't going anywhere!"

"Uh…what is it you are pulling out behind your back…?" Hans saw it in the full moonlight and jumped up from the table with a large clatter, desperately backing away. "No, no! I said I was sorry! Please! …I swear I'll leave! I-! …I am not even supposed to be here in Denmark!" Nothing was working. "It…! It was Skippa! You have files on him too don't you?!"

The man nodded behind the cocked gun.

"Look at his files! Everything was_ his_ fault! I could help you get rid of him!" The puffin promised, and as much as his whole body was shaking, the weapon aimed between his eyes stayed still. His heart beat faster and faster in his feathered chest, he sweat dropped and he felt the hammering in his ribcage on the verge of exploding. "He's my old pal! We were friends once! If you kill me, he'll just investigate it and then your whole organization will be exposed! He is stubborn and he'll lead his whole team to you! He'll stop at nothing to find out what's happened to me!" The sad part was, Hans didn't know whether he was just lying to this man, or to himself as well… "You do not know what you are doing! He'll come here first definitely! His team right behind him, you will see!"

"Let them come…I've seen them, quivering dainties, they are easily handled…and as for Skipper, well, I'll tell him you said _hello_."

"DON'T-!"

And the gun went off.


	2. Unsolved

_**Authors Note: Hope this is somewhat liked. Be sure to check out the Madagascar and Penguins of Madagascar crossover by me and RandomFanfictioner13, my special palsy walsy! **_

_**-TheSkivate**_

* * *

"No, no, no, no, _**NO**_!" Kowalski shouted in peril. "You can't move that piece there Rico! That's cheating!"

"Blarghyabadabadabdada!" Rico babbled. "Checkmate!"

"But we're playing SOLITAIRE!" The scientist complained, tossing up his flippers.

Rico coughed up a checker piece and slapped down his cards on it. "Go fish!"

"Urgh!" Kowalski started bashing his head on the table.

Private walked in, setting a tray with four mugs down next to the scattered cards. "Oh, just go with it and play with him K'walski, it's almost bedtime anyway. No need to go to bed all worked up."

"Fine." Kowalski nodded, straightening himself out. He calmed down. "You're right, Private." And started shuffling his cards. "I shouldn't let rules and regulations get in the way of a standard friendly card game between civilized penguin personnel such as ourselves who—"

"Tic-tac-toe!" Rico shouted and hacked up a black marker, making X's across all the playing cards.

"WE…ARE…PLAYING…_**SOLITAIRE**_!" screamed Kowalski.

Private laughed and walked away from the table. He left the tray and two mugs on the table, taking the two remaining mugs in his flippers to bring to the other room. The young penguin waddled into the lab where his leader stood silently in front of the computer, his recorder nearby so the private assumed he had just added another log to the skipper's log.

"Here's your fish coffee, Skippah. Hot and fishy, just the way you like it." Private smiled, and after a while frowned at the lack of response. "Skippah? …Skippah!"

"Oh, huh?" Skipper snapped back to attention. "Sorry Private, what did you say?"

"Coffee, sir."

"Oh right, yeah. Thanks…" The leader trailed off and waved his flipper at the computer desk in front of him. "Just put it right there."

"Is something the matter?" asked Private, concerned. The young penguin watched his leader turn to him completely.

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"Well, you just seem a little off ever since this morning when you—"

"Private." interrupted Skipper.

"Yes Skippah?"

"I'm fine."

"Yes but ever since you got that—"

"I wouldn't lie to you, Private."

"I know that Skippah but I'm just concerned—"

"Don't be." Skipper wrapped a flipper around the young boy, sporting that trademarked smirk. "Look at me. I'm fine, if anything I'm just overtired. That's all. Just need some shut eye and I'll be right as rain, back to my old self in the a.m."

"Well, alright." Private started to yawn. "I'm a bit on the tired side myself actually."

"I just need to finish this one thing and then its light's out." Skipper started at the computer again. "Why don't you head on to your bunk and I'll be there in a little while?"

"Actually Skippah, I'd rather just wait in here with you, if that's alright…" Private said.

"Are those two at it again?" Skipper asked, crossly. "I thought I told them to lay off the card games."

"I'm not even sure they're playing cards at this point…"

Skipper blinked. "Well what're they playing then?"

Private shrugged.

"_Bingo! Tag you're-it 'Walski!" _came Rico's crazed yell from the other room.

"_OH __**COME ON**__!" _Kowalski cried in the distance.

Skipper sighed and slid down from the seat. It didn't look like he was getting anything done at all tonight. He guessed it didn't really matter, nothing was going to change because of his investigation anyway. But he still wanted to know as much as possible on the matter at hand. He'd probably get something done tomorrow… "I suppose we should get in there then, hm?"

Private nodded.

"Come on." Skipper nodded towards the lab exit and the two shortest penguins went out into the main part of the HQ. "Lights out, boys."

"Awww…" Rico bowed his head.

"Finally!" Kowalski exclaimed.

"Oh Kowalski, don't be such a sore loser. It's unsettling…" Skipper walked past them to the bunks.

"A sore loser?! I'm the only one here who has the decency to play by the rules!" Kowalski pointed out.

"And do you know what happens to those who play by the rules?" Skipper asked.

"They end up like Manfredi and Johnson?" chirped in Private.

"That's right, my young little private." Skipper pinched the youngest penguin's cheeks, shaking his face and leaving the private a little dazed. "They end up just like Manfredi and Johnson! Now hit the bunks, and move it! We've got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow…" The leader climbed up into his bunk.

Private slipped up into his. "What kind of stuff Skippah?"

"Classified stuff."

"Will it be declassified tomorrow then?" asked Private.

"Private, once something is classified as being classified, it doesn't just become _UN-classified_!" Skipper scolded. "If something is classified then that something will remain classified for all eternity, case closed, forever. Kaput! Completely classified! Just like—"

"Just like Denmark, right Skippah?" Private said. There was a silence. "Skippah?"

Kowalski and Rico exchanged glances between each other, knowingly. Then they stared between their leader and Private. Skipper seemed to be in a trance of some sort, unresponsive to the private's calls.

Private looked at Kowalski for some assistance, but the scientist silently motioned for him not to say anything more. The three operatives got up into their bunks, watching their leader just stand there thinking of _something_.

"We're ready for lights out, Skipper." Kowalski broke the eerie silence.

Skipper nodded once and turned out the lights but he didn't get in bed. Instead he climbed up the ladder and out the hatch without a word. Most likely to get some air or clear his head like he sometimes did. Once he was gone, the three remaining penguins sat up in their bunks.

"I hope he's alright." Private commented. "He's been off ever since this morning when—"

"Private…" Kowalski said. "I think it's best if we don't mention Hans anymore, or Denmark, or anything having to do with all of the above."

"But why?"

Kowalski and Rico exchanged looks again.

"Um…" Rico croaked.

"It's like this…" Kowalski simply put it. "Hans is a part of Skipper's past, correct?"

"Yeah?" Private replied.

"He's a bad part of Skipper's past, and people often like to forget the bad things that have happened to them. Therefore, Skipper shut Hans completely out of his life so as to never repeat whatever incident that happened between them. But now that Hans is…well…_gone_, things can never be truly resolved between them with whatever conflicts they once had. Bottom line is, Skipper wasn't emotionally ready for something as drastic as Hans being murdered. It _is_ taking a toll on him."

"But I thought Hans was Skippah's enemy."

Kowalski nodded. "He is, but it's like this. We don't know what happened back in Copenhagen, do we?"

"Nuh-uh." Rico shook his head.

"He won't tell us." Private said.

"It's between him and Hans. The incident is in both of their memories, both a part of their past lives." Kowalski explained. "Hans is gone, so now Skipper is the one left to carry the burden of what happened on his own. Now this is just a theory or a mere part of what Skipper is feeling as if this wasn't enough already. Another is that Skipper and Hans share a past together. Hans called Skipper his _frienemy, _so perhaps at one point or another they could have been friends. Either way, Skipper isn't going to take this well. It'll take time for him to cope with this and we all have to be able to be there for him, just like he's always been here for us from the very beginning. Do you understand the situation now, Private?"

"Yes, I think I do. So we don't mention Hans at all?"

"Nope." said Rico.

"Not so much as a _syllable _about him or Denmark." Kowalski told them. "Got it?"

"Yes." nodded Private.

"Yup." Rico nodded as well.

"Good." Kowalski sat back on his pillow.

The hatch opened up and the dull silence was back in the HQ. Skipper got in bed, but he didn't get any sleep. Hans was gone. What now?


	3. Infernal Conflict

_Letter addressed to: Captain Sk. and Ops. K, R, & P, of CPZ sector P-HQ._

_We write to inform you that one of your adversaries has been pronounced terminated as of May the 12__th__. At approx. 13:42 hours, double agent __**Hans Søpapegøje**__ was found shot dead in a warehouse on the outskirts of Copen., Denmark. Subject found face down, three consecutive gunshot wounds to the wing, chest, and abdomen area. Situation filed as being personal. None else is known of this tragedy and the investigation is still ongoing. If new word arises, you will be notified immediately._

_Regards,_

_The General_

He kept reading that same parchment over and over again. It just didn't make any _sense_.

"…I'll be right back up guys! Just have to make sure I shut off the…oh, Skippah, I didn't know you were down here." Private had just hopped down into the HQ. "K'walski said you went out for a walk, but what're you doing down here all by yourself?" The young penguin stared straight at the papers in his leader's flippers, slightly crumpled from the shock of him barging in.

"I did but I came back." Skipper sighed, letting his flippers with the papers fall at his sides. " I snuck down here when you three weren't looking." He mumbled. "Just wanted to be alone I guess."

"You could have just said that. We would have understood." Private reassured him.

"I know, I just—" The leader sighed again, "I'll be right up."

"Well we aren't rushing you. You should take all the time you need."

"Thank you Private."

Private smiled, going to go turn off the television. Skipper hadn't even noticed it was on to begin with. The private came back seconds later.

"Things will start to get better Skippah, you'll see."

Skipper nodded but his gaze fell back down to what he held in his flippers.

Private waited until he was out of earshot to let out his own weary sigh. He climbed back up the ladder and slid the fishbowl back into place once he was out.

"Oh, Private, there you are." Kowalski greeted the youngest penguin as he joined them. "Did you take care of it?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I turned off the telly like you asked me to."

"Good." Kowalski nodded, scribbling on his clipboard. "I have this theory that if we cut down on the amount of electricity we use, we might be able to save the zoo a reasonable sum of money. In which case, it's like this; More money in the zoo's budget means more money to be spent on us animals, which if my calculations are correct…_and they are_…that would equal—"

"Fiiiiish!" finished Rico, thrilled.

"Precisely!" confirmed Kowalski, tapping the picture he drew with the eraser of his pencil. On the clipboard was a drawing of all four penguins, happy, and in a monstrous pile of fish. "We'll be swimming in mackerel soon enough, Private! ….Private? What's wrong? It's unlike you to be so down."

"Weird," Rico agreed.

"I'm sorry guys; I'm still just worried about Skippah. When I went down to shut off the telly I found him down there reading that horrid letter again. He was just staring at it, K'walski! Like he couldn't understand what was written on it! It says _Hans is dead_ clear as anything!"

"Private, I'm afraid it's not that simple—" started Kowalski.

"It's been days, K'walski!" Private went on. "Why can't things just go back to the way they were before?"

The question seemed so innocent, so easily answered in the private's eyes that Kowalski didn't want to dare dignify the question with the truth that was the answer.

"I understand what you mean." said Kowalski.

"You do?" blinked Private.

"I do." Kowalski confirmed. "Everything seemed so natural such a short time period ago and now things have changed so drastically that it all just seems so unreal, and because you're—"

"Wimp-o!" added in Rico.

"That _wasn't _what I was going to say!"

"Sorreh." Rico apologized.

Kowalski sighed. The scientist turned back to the private to finish. "_Because _you're still young you still don't understand."

"There's nothing _to_ understand, K'walski!" snapped Private, and then, "I just don't understand why Skippah can't just forget about it! Hans was an enemy! Don't we usually celebrate the defeat of our enemies? In that case, enemies deserve to die, don't they?"

"It's different."

"No it's bloody not." Private glared.

Kowalski was, if anything surprised at Private's reaction to the whole situation in itself. Anybody would have thought that in a time of death, the one person that would always show kindness and understanding would have been Private. But the little penguin just got filled with so much anger whenever Hans or the thought of Skipper feeling bad about Hans came up. The strategist didn't get it. Why was Private so insensitive ever since he heard of Han's passing? Kowalski decided to investigate further into it.

Kowalski pondered for a moment before asking. "How would you feel if Skipper, Rico, or I died?"

"I don't want to think about _that_!"

"How would you feel, Private?" Kowalski demanded.

"I don't know…"

Rico tapped Private on the shoulder. Private turned to look at the weapon's specialist.

"Look at this," Rico said and then pretended to impale himself with a stick he picked up off the ground. "Blargh!" He yelled and flopped backwards on the ground, playing dead.

"_Ugh!_ Rico!" complained Private. Rico landed on the young penguin's feet, tongue hanging out at the side. Private pulled his feet out from under the dead weight, backing away.

"Blargh!" Rico cried again and latched onto Private's legs, pretending to come back to life as a zombie.

Private tried kicking him off. "Stop it, Rico!

"Blargh, blargh, blargh!"

"Bad zombie! Oh, not again!" Private retreated on his heels, pulling his feet away. He dragged the gurgling weapon's expert with him as he pulled. "Thought we were through with zombies since last time…" Private grumbled.

Kowalski pressed on. "Well?"

Private looked up. "Well _what_? And could you please offer some sort of help?"

"Blargh!" exclaimed Rico again.

Kowalski crossed his arms. "How would you feel?"

"_K'walski!_" Private whined.

"I won't call him off until you provide me with an answer." The strategist said simply.

"Alright I'll answer it!" surrendered Private. The young penguin folded his flippers and muttered to himself. "_I wish Skippah was back to normal_, and then you could go back to being smart and not a bossy-pants penguin." Private pouted.

"Private, you know as well as I do that penguins don't wear pants." Kowalski told him.

Private stuck out his tongue.

"Your answer?" asked the scientist.

"Honestly," started Private. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have any of you here with me. You, Skippah, or Rico… We've been together so long that I don't remember doing anything else, so I wouldn't even know where to begin on doing something without you three. I don't think I could do much of anything really…"

Kowalski nodded. "Now imagine how Skipper feels," He thought now that Private had a glance into Skipper's shoes- metaphorically speaking that is, penguins don't wear shoes either –that it would help him finally understand. How wrong he was.

"But it's _HANS_!" Private yelled in the scientist's face. "It has to be different!"

Rico was shocked by Private's outburst, so the moment the young penguin exploded was the moment he stopped his playing zombie act altogether. He let go of the private's feet and backed up from the other two penguins.

"Why does it matter who it is?" Kowalski asked.

"It just does, K'walski!"

"Private, I don't understand you."

"Well with that big hotty-tot brain maybe you should!"

"Hotty-tot what? What are you talking about!?"

Rico shrunk back as the argument got more heated. "Oh boy," He shook his head and kept watching.

"If you're _SO SMART_ I don't see how you couldn't just understand it!" retorted Private.

"What does my superior intellect have to do with any of this?" Kowalski asked.

Private cried back to him, "It has nothing to do with it, don't you get it?!"

"Uh, no, not really!" replied Kowalski.

"And you call yourself smart!" Private shot back, smirking at Kowalski's gasp that followed. The strategist didn't respond, he seemed to be looking past Private at something else. "What's wrong K'walski? Platypus got your tongue?"

"_**WHAT**__ is going on here?"_

"Skippah!" gasped Private, spinning around to be face to face with his leader.


	4. What Shouldn't Be Said

"_**WHAT **__is going on here?_"

"Skippah!" gasped Private, spinning around to be face to face with his leader. "What- what are you doing up here?"

"I was coming up to start our training session when I heard yelling," Skipper said. "And since I'm not the one doing it, naturally, there's going to be some consequences."

The three penguins, now in a straight line in front of their leader, looked down at their feet. They waited obediently for the lecture that would soon follow.

Skipper paced back and forth in front of his team, with his flippers behind his back. "Now normally I'd ask for the guilty one(s) to do the right thing and step forward, either that or hit the hills while they still can," laughed Skipper. "But there's not really a need for any of that since I just so happened to hear for myself who the culprit was. But, since I'm always lenient with you boys…" The leader smirked to himself. "Would the blabber-beak _please_ step forward?" No one moved and Skipper sighed, "_Get over here,_ _Private_."

Private gulped and stepped towards his superior. "Aye, Skip—"

"Tut, tut, tut!" Skipper interrupted harshly. "Step back, soldier!"

Private stepped back into the line, not quite understanding.

"_Kowalski._" Skipper scolded the name.

Kowalski started to step up when Skipper shoved him back and walked past him to the last operative in the line.

"Now Rico, why were these two _numbskulls _arguing on my island?"

"Uhm," Rico shrugged. "Co' ated."

"It's complicated hm?" Skipper tapped his foot.

Rico nodded.

"Well, at least you tried." Skipper shrugged, patting the psycho on back. "Good job, soldier."

Kowalski, Rico and Private were nothing less than hopelessly confused. Skipper was acting…well, not at all skipper-like. He was smiling cheerily, not frowning, and he seemed to be drifting back and forth between seriousness and not at all. They couldn't tell whether he was angry with them or just joking around. But just in case their leader _was _serious, they kept quiet and in check. Getting on Skipper's bad side was…well, lies won't be given here. Let's just say it's completely— AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH SWEET MERCY, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES...! –inducing. Horrible. Not at all good.

"I thought after last time's little incident that we agreed to resolve all complications within this unit, and I pledged to that. Now are you calling your own commanding officer a dirty lying pledge naysayer?"

"Nuh uh!" Rico shook his head.

"Of course not, Skippah!"

"We would never do any of the sorts!" Kowalski exclaimed.

"Then hug it out like brothers!" Skipper ordered. Again, no one moved, so he ordered louder. "Pronto!"

Both Private and Kowalski rushed forward, awkwardly and sloppily wrapping their flippers around each other. The private and the lieutenant refused to make eye contact, already feeling completely weird with this.

"Where's the eye contact?!" Skipper demanded. "Just look at that sorry tail you're hugging!"

Private and Kowalski swallowed everything and looked directly at each other, their cheek under their feathers flushing red.

"Don't you two knuckleheads love each other?" coaxed Skipper, then he used excited force. "Don't you? Say it!"

"Uh, I love you…K'walski…" mustered Private, flustered.

Kowalski blinked.

"_Kowalski_," Skipper started. "Don't you have something to tell young private too?"

Rico gagged and made disgusted expressions.

"That's enough out of you, soldier!" Skipper turned on Rico. "I'll make you hug the dart frog! Comprende?"

Rico nodded, frowning.

Skipper took that as confirmation and spun back around. "Well, we're all waiting Kowalski…"

Kowalski nodded. "Well, Skipper, I must say that I—"

"Uh-uh, soldier! To the private!"

"Yes, sir." Kowalski squeaked and coughed. "Well, Private, I must say that I appreciate the work you put in around here and as your teammate and one of your higher ranked superiors, I must inform you that—"

"No, no, no!" Skipper shouted. "What in the halibut was that?!"

"I was expressing my feelings towards the private, Skipper." explained Kowalski.

"No you weren't! You were basically rubbing it in his face that you're better than him! _Mr. high ranks, higher ranking superior __**my flipper**_, Kowalski! That's not even _**close **_to an _I love you_!"

"I love you too, sir." Kowalski said to the leader and got slapped.

"You don't love _me_!" Skipper shook his head, lowering his flipper.

"I…don't?"

"No! You love Private!" Skipper told him, shoving Private and Kowalski closer together in their forced embrace. "Don't you?"

Kowalski looked at the private's confused eyes. They were all confused, he concluded. Him, Private, and Rico. None of them understood what Skipper was trying to do here. But Kowalski nodded his answer. Of course he cared for Private.

"Well? Go on!" urged Skipper.

"I, love you, Private." Kowalski admitted but it sounded more like a robotic statement than any kind of term of endearment. Apparently it was enough for the leader because he smiled in approval.

"Way to go, Kowalski." Skipper walked past them to stand at the end of the line in between Kowalski and Rico just as the clock bells went off for the day. "And just in time for opening too." said the leader as the excited voices of children started filling the zoo.

Private and Kowalski separated, straightening out so they fit into the penguin line.

"Skipper," Kowalski started. "If I may, I was wondering what exactly you were trying to—"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Skipper snapped, and pushed Kowalski back up against Private. "Who told you two to separate?"

Kowalski blinked, glancing from Private to Skipper. "We weren't finished? I just assumed that since you said _just in time for opening_ that meant that we could separate. Then you got into our usual line formation and I figured we were going on as normal. My apologies, Skipper, it won't happen again."

"That's good news," Skipper said. "Because I don't need you to start analyzing me, Kowalski. The moment you start analyzing me, is the moment you become smart enough to try to go mutiny on my sorry tail feathers."

Kowalski gasped and threw his flippers over his beak. "I would _never_!"

"At ease, soldier." Skipper lowered his voice down. "The people are watching." The leader gestured to the mob that surrounded them in a full circle. "Now, resume embracive formation."

"But…the people are watching." Kowalski's eyes darted towards the people around them.

"Exactly." said Skipper. The leader started waving to the humans. "And that's an order, just in case you didn't analyze _that_."

Kowalski looked at the mass of people staring at all of them. This was humiliating! What on earth was Skipper trying to prove by them hugging in front of everyone? He knew they shouldn't have been arguing in the first place, they knew better._ He_ knew better, and he knew that he didn't have a lot of time for thinking before he was going to be interrupted by somethi—

He suddenly felt something short and warm latch onto his body. Kowalski looked down to see Private wrapping his flippers around him again. The strategist reluctantly returned said gesture.

"_Awwwww!"_ cooed the crowd at the cuddling penguins.

"We're cute and cuddly boys," sighed Skipper, regaining his smile. "We're cute and cuddly."

* * *

"Look at dem over there, Maurice! Look at dem acting all cute and…and cuddly! Those stupid penguins! Who de heck do they think they are supposed to be being?"

Maurice shrugged his answer. "Uh…penguins your majesty?"

"I _like _the penguins!" Mort exclaimed.

Julien gasped. "Are you to be seeing what I am seeing?! Mort is liking their cute and cuddly-ness!"

"A lot of people like their…" Maurice broke off. "Uh…cute and cuddliness."

"Are you saying dat I am not being cute? Are you _telling me_ dat I am not cuddly? Why are you saying such_ lies_?!" yelled the king.

"That's not what I was saying at all, Julien!"

"You are spewing even more lies from your face! Obviously you said it because I said you said it! You cannot be telling me dat I am making all this up from my awesome imagi-nition!"

"You mean _imagination_." corrected Maurice.

"Stop making up words! You are making me feel de stupid-y!" Julien started sobbing. "Why are you doing this to me, Maurice? _Why_?"

Maurice sighed and started patting the king on the back.

* * *

They'd gotten used to the whole hugging thing. It didn't bother them as much anymore now that they'd been at it for a while. But they did wonder when they were going to finally be able to stop.

Kowalski knew Skipper was ruthless, completely. If Skipper wanted to he could probably have them go through the whole day like this. He could have them do exercises and training like this or even go as far as making them go to sleep like this.

The people came and went, watching them and the occasional cry of: "Aww, look at the two penguins hugging! They love each other!"

Rico started laughing when someone in the crowd deduced that the two penguins were a couple and the tall one was _so obviously_ the girl.

Skipper stayed silent the whole time, looking satisfied with everything. Private, Rico, and Kowalski were thrilled at least to have their leader looking so much like normal. Things were going back to the way they used to be, they sensed it. Everything would be okay now. What's happened was over with and they are finally going to be able to go back to their normal lives. That's what the three penguins thought anyway, but like Skipper's gambling streak back in Monte Carlo, and Kowalski's failed inventions, and Rico's inexplicably violent behavior, and Private's laughing whenever something having to do with butt's comes up; They were obviously wrong.

The Central Park Zoo's clock tower bells went off in four dull steady rings, and out came Alice scurrying to usher all the annoying people out of the zoo.

"Alright, move it! We're closing! You don't have to go home, but please get the heck out of here!" Alice shoved the glaring people away from the habitats.

"Well, that's done and over with." Skipper said, turning around and away from the dispersing crowd.

Private stopped humming the tune he was humming and, turned both him and Kowalski around to face their leader. "The people were lovely today, Skippah. Sometimes I wish I could be like them."

"_Noooo_ you don't. Trust me, young Private, you do _not_ want to be a human. Their whole way of life is just complicated, all twisted and full of indulging themselves in _pretzel bun sandwiches_." Skipper shuddered in disgust.

"Alright," said Private, flippers wrapped around Kowalski as he spoke. "Although that does sound delicious, I suppose I don't want to be a human then."

"What's with the sudden change of venue?" asked Skipper.

"It's nothing, I trust you, that's all."

"You…_trust me_?" Skipper said the last part in what looked to be disbelief.

"Well, yes, I do." Private nodded. "I trust anything you say, Skippah."

"_Why_?" the leader raised his brow in suspicious question.

Kowalski looked between the leader, the private, and Rico. The two tallest penguins didn't like where this conversation could possibly lead. They didn't know if this was going to escalate to an argument or end with Skipper becoming depressed again if Private foolishly starts to remind the leader of _you know who_ or **what happened** to _you know who_. They knew this altercation might not end well.

Private looked confused at the skipper's reaction. "Because, you're you."

"I don't get it." admitted Skipper, shaking his head.

The private laughed, and the vibrations of the little penguins laugh tickled Kowalski in the process. "Skippah, we all love you. We trust you. _I _trust you, Skippah….Skippah? What's wrong?"

"'kipper?" called Rico. "Ou' boy…" The psychotic penguin said in dismay.

Kowalski groaned. "Ugh, Private!" he glared down at the penguin still clutched to his chest. "What did you do!?" the scientist, not letting go of the private, hopped himself and Private over to where the leader stood. "Skipper!" Kowalski tried calling his leader back to reality. "Whatever Private said, he didn't mean it!"

"But I did mean it!" defended Private, looking up to the scientists face above his own in their embrace.

"_No_ you didn't!" snapped Kowalski down to the private through a clenched beak. "Skipper, he didn't-"

"You…trust me…" murmured Skipper. The statement the private said brought something back to his mind that was buried long ago. "Hans…"

"Hans!?" exclaimed Private; surprised, in shock, and slightly hurt. "I'm not Ha-"

Kowalski cut the private off by closing the small penguin's beak with his flipper. He tried again to talk Skipper out of whatever trance he was in. "Whatever you think is happening right now, Skipper, it isn't real. What's happened is over; you don't have to go through it anymore. It's all over and done with forever. You don't have to go back to it. Can you hear me?"

Skipper nodded faintly that he could and Kowalski sighed in relief. But there was something; a low whisper in the back of his head and that suave accented voice was weak in his ears, pleading,

"_I trust you, Skippa~, I always have…" _

But the statement was already behind him and he couldn't get it back. So as he broke away from it and turned his head he looked up at the sky, begging for the voice's forgiveness.


	5. Good job NOT!

Skipper shook his head. "Sorry…I was being stupid…"

"You're not stupid, Skippah." said Private. "You could never be stupid. You're way too smart for that."

"You don't mean that, you're just being a suck up…" Skipper mumbled.

"I'm not. I really do mean it, honest."

"You do?" blinked Skipper.

"Of course I do! You're only the smartest penguin I've ever known!" Private told his leader and looked up when he felt Kowalski slightly tighten the hold around his body. The scientist had his eyes narrowed at the youngest penguin and he looked insulted. The private rolled his eyes at Kowalski and sucked in his breath. He whispered harshly to the penguin up against him. "It isn't all about you, K'walski."

"That doesn't mean it didn't still hurt…" muttered Kowalski, bitterly.

Skipper went on, not hearing any of the side comments. "Thank you, Private. That's…real noble of you."

"You're welcome, Skippah!" smiled Private, but he was still confused with something. The little penguin said it before either of his tallest teammates could stop him. "But why'd you call me Hans, though?"

"_DAWGAHA!_" Kowalski screeched and smashed Private's face deep into his chest, muffling the end of the private's sentence. Private struggled against the scientist's feathers, unable to speak or breathe. Kowalski chuckled nervously. "I love you Private…just so, _**so**_ much…! I just wanna…" the scientist groaned to keep the private's face concealed in his chest. "…hold you…until you…_**STOP TALKING**_!" Kowalski shrieked, and upon seeing Skipper's shocked expression, he smiled nervously to the leader.

"Kowalski! Stand down, soldier! You're hugging the kid blue!" cried Skipper, placing his flipper in between the two to pry the private's face up. It worked and Private was free to gasp for air.

"Sorry, Skipper." answered Kowalski. "I was having a flashback to our time with Manfredi and Johnson." Although he was currently lying, Kowalski recalled the incident. "Smothering with kindness,"

"Well knock it off." Skipper told him. "You're acting real weird, Kowalski…"

"But you've been acting weird all week, Skippah." said Private.

Kowalski looked down at the penguin and glared, grabbing Private's head. "Back in you go!" he tried to shove the private's face back into his feathers.

"No, let him speak." instructed Skipper.

Kowalski sighed and let go of the back of Private's head, wrapping his flippers back firmly around Private's waist.

"It's just that you-" started Private but Kowalski jumped in.

"Skipper, I must advise you as your options guy and second in command that we do not under any circumstances go any further into this conversation. Private has no idea what he's talking about. He's just a child and he doesn't understand-"

"A child and a member of this unit, Kowalski. Now let the private speak! That's an order!" commanded Skipper.

Kowalski frowned but nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Go on, Private." nodded Skipper.

"Well Skippah, ever since Ha-"

Kowalski started purposely coughing loudly to cover up Private's words. He gave a few more throaty forced hacks before he stopped to see Skipper's harsh glare.

"Are you done?" asked Skipper, not amused with the strategist's antics.

Kowalski nodded with a cheesy smile.

"Alright Private," started Skipper again. "Take it from the top."

Private sighed before beginning again. "Han-"

"HAND!" Kowalski corrected the private.

"Hand?" questioned Skipper. "Private, we don't have hands. We have flippers. I would have thought that much was clear to you."

"But I-" tried Private.

"-learn something new every day!" Kowalski finished for him, patting Private on the beak so he'd be quiet. "Knowledge definitely is power, wouldn't you say so?"

"I don't know…" Skipper thought aloud, rubbing his chin with his flipper. "I still think brute force is better power. The better to make hippies get jobs with," grinned Skipper.

"Hipp'e!" exclaimed Rico, excitedly, ready to punch one.

"Ah, but Skipper, without knowledge when would you know whether brute force is truly necessary?" asked Kowalski.

"Poor naïve Kowalski, in life brute force is necessary a good most of the time you're living it." Skipper said.

Kowalski concurred. "Yes, but what about the few times when it's not?"

Skipper shrugged and pointed behind him. "That's never stopped Rico."

"Hipp'e!" growled Rico.

"_**QUIET ALL OF YOU!**_" screamed Private finally.

The three penguins started and fell silent, staring at the fuming small penguin around Kowalski's waist.

"Private!" Skipper scolded the young cadet.

"I'm sorry Skippah, I'm just so fed up with everything." Private admitted.

"Fed up?" responded Skipper. "Well why didn't you just tell me?"

"I tried to Skippah, but K'walski wouldn't let me!" cried Private.

"Kowalski?" Skipper looked to named penguin.

Kowalski gave a sheepish grin. "It's a funny story, once you get past all the parts that'll make you furious…but- _OH, IT WAS RICO'S FAULT!"_ cried Kowalski.

"WHA!?" shouted Rico. "NO' MEH! I' WAS 'WALSKI!"

"OKAY, OKAY!" Kowalski admitted. "It was me!"

"Explain." instructed Skipper.

Kowalski sighed. "Ever since…Ha_-blah blah_…" muttered Kowalski incoherently, not wanting to say the name.

"Who?" questioned Skipper with a raised brow.

"I _**said**_, ever since Ha-_AHA_…" Kowalski stuttered.

Skipper looked downright confused. "Ever since _who_?"

Kowalski gulped. "Ever since Ha-"

"**UGH**!" shouted Private. "**EVER SINCE HANS DIED YOU'VE BEEN ACTING DIFFERENT!**" The private then sighed. "I just can't take it anymore, Skippah! I want you to go back to normal and make everything better again!"

Skipper stared guiltily. "Private I-"

"_Please_, Skippah!" cried Private. He didn't want this to keep going on. He wanted things to go back to the way they were a week ago. Back when every morning Skipper woke them up, smiling and excited to start their day. Then things were fun, they'd train and get snow cones and play games and things were cheery. The private didn't like these new days where there were deep silences and no one was happy and where Skipper didn't smile at all. Kowalski stopped inventing, saying how he wanted to wait until things picked back up before going back into the lab again. And Rico stopped booming! What kind of day was it if Rico didn't boom?! "I can't take this much anymore." The private confessed.

"Private, I'm…I'm sorry…" Skipper looked down in shame. How could he have messed _this_ up? He always preferred taking situations on by himself, only to spare others of having to go through his own feelings. In his mind his feelings were burdens, and he'd never wish them upon anyone else other than himself. He could handle his own thoughts and his own business. This way it'd be weighted on only him. It was an object of sacrifice how he saw it. Naturally he'd take pain for the ones he cared about, even if it isn't physical but mental. Why do you think he never talked about his past? Those thoughts brought suffering, and who better to keep it locked down but him? He could handle pain. He thought he could handle it fairly well. But for some reason he couldn't hold this situation in. It refused to be detained and now he'd let it seep onto those around him. He once again failed someone he cared for. "I didn't mean for it to get so…"

"But it's not your fault Skipper!" Kowalski told him. They were _so _close to normal, _SO CLOSE_ but now they were spinning back into this spiraling depression he tried so hard to let die down. He thought the situation was deteriorating on its own so that they didn't have to confront it all together. It wasn't supposed to escalate after it's been slowly deflating to nothing all week. But he realizes now that he should have accounted for Private's inability to suppress emotion and Skipper's ability _to _suppress it. He guesses the relapse was inevitable, but he'd do anything to just turn this whole thing right back around. He'd do anything to just go back to the beginning of it all and give attention to the problem rather than by flat out ignoring it and hoping it would go away But they were too far in now so he still tried, even though he knew that at this point it was completely hopeless. "I told you, Private doesn't know what he's-"

"ENOUGH, Kowalski! It's over! The gig is up! Accept it man!" yelled Skipper.

"But-!" Kowalski tried and sighed, giving up. It was all out in the open now. There was no ignoring the fact now. "Oh, fine! And can we _please _stop HUGGING already!? This is ridiculous!" he gestured to the fact that him and Private still haven't separated from their hug this whole time.

"Not until you three give me answers!" Skipper barked. "Is…Is Hans dying having that big of an effect on me?"

Rico, Kowalski, and Private looked between each other, all three penguins looking unsure.

Kowalski glared in Private's direction. "This is _exactly _what I was trying to prevent, a heated discussion like this!" the strategist looked urgently at his leader. "Skipper, right now I highly recommend that no one answer such a question."

"You're not in charge here," exclaimed Skipper. "I am, now answer the question! I want to know!"

Kowalski tried simple reasoning. "Skipper, I know you think that if we tell you what you want to know that it will help in some way-"

But Skipper just yelled back at him. "Answer the question!"

"Skipper-"

"_**NOW**_, KOWALSKI!"

"Yes…" Kowalski sighed. "Yes, Skipper, I do believe it is having an effect on you…" The analyst looked down at the concrete. "And...let me say that I am truly sorry for your loss."

"_Kowalski!_" Skipper groaned.

"Well I am!"

Then there was silence between the four as they thought of what to do next, Skipper on where to start, and for Kowalski, how to end. Rico just stood there standing. He didn't know what to do at all. He was normally directed on what action to take by Skipper, or sometimes Kowalski, and rarely Private. He did act on his own occasionally, but nothing he'd do would help anything. His form of action against things was violence, and he had a feeling violence wasn't going to cut it here. So silence was his friend at the moment. Good old safe silence.

Private glanced between all his elders, thinking. Skipper was still staring at the ground, looking depressed. He looked up at Kowalski- who he was still hugging -and Kowalski was looking over at Skipper. The scientist seemed to be thinking of options for the leader even though none were asked for. Private then looked at Rico, who was sure enough staring back at him as well. The weapon's expert was frowning and looked sad. Rico let out a low strained grumble, giving his sad view on the situation.

The private had a breakthrough in that moment. He was finally able to see just how bad the condition actually was. How it couldn't be as easily addressed as he once thought. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned anything. He may have made a mistake on not listening to Kowalski. A horrible mistake. "Oh Skippah, I'm sorry I said anything! I should have listened to K'walski and kept my beak shut!"

Kowalski was fuming now at the smallest penguin. He glared down angrily at Private on his chest. "You realize this _now_? Of all times, Private?! You take notice of my good advice NOW?!"

"I'm sorry, K'walski!" huffed Private. "I didn't know!"

Kowalski groaned and scoffed at the private.

"It's alright, Private." Skipper said. "I'm glad you said something. If you didn't then I never would have known."

"Are you going to be alright though?" asked Private.

"Fine," nodded Skipper.

Private shook his head. "I wouldn't think you are."

"I'm fine," Skipper nodded again. "As long as I have you boys behind me, I'm alright."

"Forever and always, Skippah." Private smiled, lifting one of his flippers from around Kowalski to give a small salute. "No matter what."

Skipper smiled a bit too, and then surprised his team by snorting after a while. "So yes, huh?"

"Yes," Private nodded, knowing what his leader was referring back to. "You have been acting a bit strange ever since we got the news of Hans being…"

"…killed." finished Kowalski.

"No mo'e." said Rico glumly, saying the current status of the aforementioned puffin.

"I guess it's just weird." Skipper shrugged.

Private didn't quite understand. "Weird, Skippah?"

"Well I guess what I'm saying is-" started Skipper.

"What you're saying is," interrupted Kowalski. "You never thought of something like this happening, and it's a bit of a shock to you."

Skipper blinked, and then narrowed his eyes annoyed at the analyst. "I guess I'm so caught off guard that I can't identify what I'm trying to say anymore on my own."

Kowalski frowned. "Apologies, Skipper. I guess I need to stop analyzing you."

"You guessed right." Skipper confirmed with an eye roll.

"So what now?" Private asked the team.

Skipper was about to answer Private when new voices that they hadn't noticed before came to their attention. There was screaming coming from the lemur habitat and the four penguins wondered how they hadn't noticed it before. The team of elite commandos turned around to the neighboring habitat and were generally surprised at what they saw there.


	6. Executed

Skipper was about to answer Private when new voices that they hadn't noticed before came to their ear holes. There was screaming coming from the lemur habitat and the four penguins wondered how they hadn't noticed it before. The team of elite commandos turned around to the neighboring habitat and was generally surprised at what they saw there.

"Ringtail?" inquired Skipper. "What's he blabbering on about now?"

"I don't know, Skippah, but he does sound upset." Private stared towards the lemur habitat.

"And fairly loud," Kowalski added, looking past Private's head against him.

"Anno'in." Rico commented, trying to cover his ear holes from the noise.

"Shouldn't we do something?" asked Private.

"It depends," answered Skipper. "Kowalski, analysis." The leader turned to his lieutenant.

"It appears that Julien and Maurice are in an argument of some sort, Skipper. And by the looks of it, Julien isn't taking it very well." Kowalski analyzed the scene before them, watching the lemur king throwing a tantrum and beating his furry fists into the ground. "He appears to be throwing a temper tantrum."

"Further analysis." Skipper ordered.

Kowalski went on. "He isn't getting what he wants so he is attempting to get it through protest."

"Like a hippie?" gasped Skipper.

"Negative, Skipper. Not at all like a hippie."

Skipper frowned in disappointment. "So no slapping then?"

"You could still slap him, Skippah." Private reassured him.

"Nah, it's not the same." Skipper sighed. "Hippies are hippies and Ringtails are ringtails. They each require different slapping maneuvers."

"So you could still slap him then" said Private again.

"Hipp'e!" Rico growled, pounding his fist against his flipper.

Kowalski shook his head. "I'm sorry Rico, Julien hasn't gone hippie so there is no need to slap him."

"Aw…" moped Rico.

"What about the protest?" Skipper asked.

"Unlike a hippie's methods of protesting, this method is more on the violent side." replied Kowalski.

"Wahoo!" Rico cheered.

"Describe violent." ordered Skipper. "And could it danger any civilians?"

"Negative again, Skipper." Kowalski said. "This level of violence is far below any risk of public endangerment, no, this kind of violence is common among children ages 3-9. Therefore, this is a classic temper tantrum. Complete with loud wailing and throwing the body around on the ground like one might in case of a panic attack."

Skipper nodded at this information. "Temper tantrum options."

"We could go over there and try to assist." suggested Kowalski.

"Next option."

"We could ignore it."

"Perfect!" Skipper smiled, satisfied with this. "Execute second option!" The leader ordered and turned away from the lemur habitat. Rico followed the order given and turned away from the ruckus behind his leader. Kowalski tried to turn but Private wouldn't move with him.

Private merely turned his head to look at their leader, concern on his face. "I don't feel like that's a very good option, Skippah."

"Any option where Ringtail gets ignored is a good option, Private." Skipper replied.

"Not _any _option…" Private frowned and silently begged his leader to take back his order.

Skipper gave in and sighed. "Alright, alright, put the baby blues to rest. New plan of action, execute the first option that was given!"

"Oh yay!" cheered Private, jumping up and down excitedly on Kowalski's feet.

"Ow, Private!" Kowalski grimaced.

"Oh sorry, K'walski." Private apologized. "Skippah?" The private called his leader who was already leaving the penguin habitat. "Could we maybe separate now? We have learned our lesson after all."

Kowalski nodded hopefully in agreement.

"Hmmm…nah," Skipper decided.

"But I thought you said you were fine!" exclaimed Kowalski.

"I _am_ fine," confirmed Skipper. "But you don't keep secrets from your leader. That's a form of mutiny in my eyes."

Kowalski rolled his. "What_ isn't_ a form of mutiny in your eyes, Skipper?"

"Not many things, young Kowalski."

"I'm older than you!" gasped Kowalski.

Skipper ignored him. "When we come back from dealing with Ringtail, I'll tell you how what you just said is another form of mutiny. Now let's go. I just realized that I could slap that lemur if I wanted to. I want to hurry up and do it before that also becomes another form of mutiny." The leader jumped over the gates and out of the penguin habitat, Rico following him.

Kowalski and Private wavered behind on the concrete island in their hug.

Private blinked. "Does everything turn into mutiny then, K'walski?"

Kowalski thought about it, and then sighed. "Only ever in Skipper's life, young Private, only ever in Skipper's life."

"Oh." Private was still confused, but he looked up at the scientist again in question. "Skippah's younger than you?"

"Shush, Private! He'll hear you!" yelled Kowalski, covering Private's beak and looking off frightened in the direction Skipper went.

* * *

"But you're older than Rico too right?" Private asked, continuing their conversation as they hobbled along.

Kowalski sighed and stopped hobbling altogether. The two penguins were now in front of the lemur habitat. It took them a while to get all the way over here, even longer to figure out how to hop their habitat fence without breaking their embrace. The strategist didn't answer the private's pointless question. He was tired, they had to skip lunch because they couldn't stop hugging to catch the fish being thrown at them, and Private was now grossly starting to stick to his feathers. He'd kill for a swim right about now…

"K'walski?"

"What Private?"

"If you're oldest, how come you're not leader instead of Skippah?"

"SHHHH!" Kowalski squealed at him, hoping to whatever created the world that Skipper would never overhear such words spoken. "Are you insane?!" The analyst asked in a terrified whisper.

"I'm not." Private reassured. "At least I don't think…"

"You are trying to get us killed with your excessively stupid beak!"

"My beak isn't stupid…" frowned Private, lifting his flipper from around Kowalski to touch his beak subconsciously.

"You're right, it's not your fault. I'm sorry Private," Kowalski sighed, shaking his head.

"It's alright, K'walski." Private smiled. "So how come Skippah's leader and not you?"

"GAHHH!" Kowalski cried and knocked both of them to the ground, him on top of Private with their flippers still around one another. "Stop talking!"

Private looked up at the scientist questionably. "I don't quite understand."

"Do you want to end up like Manfredi and Johnson?!"

"Smothered with kindness?"

"NO!" shouted Kowalski.

"Then what?"

"You can't go against Skipper!"

"Go against Skippah? No, of course not! I'd never do that! I love Skippah!" defended Private, beak agape at how the strategist could even expect such a thing. "Why would I ever go against him? He's our _leader_, K'walski! How could you think I'd ever do such a thing?"

"You talk too much and you don't know what you're talking about! That's a bad combination right there, let me tell you!"

"But I don't understand what you mean, K'walski!" Private cried desperately. He was so sick of being confused.

"You really don't get it, do you?"

"I don't! I haven't been able to understand a single thing since we got that letter saying Hans died! I'm sick of it! Couldn't you explain it all to me?"

"…" Kowalski contemplated this in his head.

"How come Skippah cares that Hans is dead?"

"It's complicated."

"Why is Skippah acting so weird then?"

"I couldn't tell you."

"What happened to Manfredi and Johnson?"

"Mystery?" shrugged Kowalski, sheepishly.

"_K'walski!_" Private shouted in annoyance.

"Look! I don't know what to tell you, Private!"

"Couldn't you tell me something?" pleaded Private. "Something at least? I want to understand!"

Kowalski sighed. "I'm afraid you couldn't understand even if you tried."

"I could, you never know."

"I do know."

"How?" Private challenged.

"I'm a strategist, analyst, and scientist."

"Oh yeah."

"I'm a man of brain and science. I know a lot more about things than you do. You're just a private."

Private frowned. "Skippah's right, you are a show off."

"I'm not trying to insult you, Private."

"Well you're doing a pretty good job of it then, aren't you?"

"We just learn from experience and it just so happens that Skipper, Rico, and I have a lot more than you." Kowalski reasoned to the young penguin. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"I feel stupid…" pouted Private.

"You're not, you're just young."

Private nodded slowly in understanding. "K'walski?"

"Yes?"

"Would Skippah care if we died?"

Kowalski was shocked at how the private could ask such a question. "Of course he would! Why would you ever think that he wouldn't?"

Private seemed to ignore the additional question. "Who killed Hans?"

"Well…we don't really know. The case is still being solved at the moment." Kowalski answered, seeing the disappointment in the kid's eyes he told the private his own investigations on the matter. "But I did do some research and analyzed most of the case file. I've come up with my own theories and conclusions on who I think the culprit was."

Private nodded for him to go on. "And?"

"I think it was the Danish militaries. They've had it out for both Hans and Skipper ever since…well…_whatever happened_ back in Denmark."

"Do you know what happened in Denmark, K'walski?"

"No, I'm afraid I know as little as you do on the matter."

"Oh…" Private's beak made what was equivalent to be an 'o' shape on a beak. "…K'walski?"

"Yes, Private?"

"Do you think they'll kill Skippah too?"

"Private!" Kowalski gasped.

"Oh, I know it's a horrible question! But they got Hans didn't they? What if they get Skippah too?"

"That won't happen."

"How do you know that?" demanded Private. "You don't know everything, K'walski!"

"You're right, I don't, but I'll tell you what I do know." Kowalski said, picking the both of them up from off the ground with a strained groan. "I know that we'd never let anything happen to Skipper, never in infinity! If those stupid Danes are foolish enough to come after Skipper then they'll have to get through you, Rico, or I first."

"What if we can't protect him? What if we fail Skippah?"

"We could never fail him, Private."

"But what if we can't-"

"We'll all be fine. I swear to you." Kowalski said. He needed to convince Private further that they were safe and nothing would take Skipper away from them. "Even if they get past you, or even Rico, you know that I'd do whatever it takes to protect Skipper as his lieutenant."

"I just don't want to see Skippah hurt. I never like too. I'll always want to help him."

"And you always can."

"How?" asked Private.

"Private, you remember how I've been making you keep quiet about your feelings all week?"

"How could I ever forget? You wouldn't even let me get a single word out."

"Well that was wrong of me and I'm sorry." Kowalski apologized, recognizing his mistake. "What is it that Skipper's always telling you?"

Private remembered like clockwork with a smile just as instant. "Skippah always says to do what you think is right."

"Right," Kowalski nodded. "And what you thought was the right thing to do was to address the problem at hand. It was wrong of me to distrust your own gut instinct on what to do. My own told me to ignore the problem completely and let Skipper deal with it on his own, something he likes doing."

"Don't be sorry then."

Kowalski thought Private was being stubborn with him. Just like a child to do so, he thought. "Private-"

"No K'walski, don't be sorry." Private told him. "You were just following your gut instinct too and you thought you were doing what was right. So did Skippah, because his gut tells him to hold everything all for himself. So we were all wrong and right at the same time." The private reasoned his thoughts aloud, thinking about everything as he spoke. He looked confused. "That is possible right? I'm sorry, K'walski. I'm afraid I'm not too good at science then." Private frowned and looked down.

Kowalski laughed. "No, no, you're exactly 100% accurate on your metaphorical word equations."

Private just blinked at him. "I suppose I'm not too good at math either. I don't understand at all what you just said."

"I said you're right."

"I am?" Private's tail feathers waved in excitement if you could see them.

"You are."

The private nodded with his earhole to earhole smile. Private started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" asked Kowalski.

"Oh nothing…" Private snorted, struggling to hold in his laughter. He giggled and squeaked, trying to keep quiet. "It's just that…" The private giggled again. "You were wrong and I was right…" Private snickered louder.

"What? No! That's not what I-"

"You were wrong!" Private giggled.

Kowalski groaned, cheeks turning bright red under his feathers if you could see them. He scowled.

"I'm sorry, K'walski. I'm wrong to laugh at you…"

Kowalski started to smile smugly. "Well I'm glad you've seen the error of your ways, maybe you'll think twice before you decide to giggle at a senior officer, young Private."

Private burst out laughing. "…BUT NOT AS WRONG AS YOU WERE WITH SKIPPAH! HAHA!"

Kowalski sighed. "Laugh it up, Private…just laugh it up…"


	7. You Will Need Earmuffs

"**WHY AND HOW, MAURICE?! WHY ARE YOU SAYING SUCH THINGS TO ME AND HOW ARE YOU TO BE SAYING DEM?! I THOUGHT WERE YOU DIFFERENT FROM DE REST OF DEM! FROM EVERYBODY IN DIS ZOO! WHY IS IT I NOW SEE DAT YOU ARE JUST LIKE DEM? HOW IS IT I HAVE NOT BEEN SEEING SUCH THINGS BEFORE? HAVE I BEEN BLINDED? BY OUR FRIENDSHIP MAURICE? HOW COULD YOU ALLOW ANYTHING TO BLIND YOUR KING? HOW COULD YOU NOT STOP ME FROM BEING BLINDED?! HOW?! MORT IS A BETTER NOT BLINDER THAN YOU! MORT IS DE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME! MAURICE, HOW COULD YOU ALLOW MORT TO BE DE ONLY ONE WHO CARES? WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYBODY ELSE?! WHY DID YOU ALLOW THEM TO BE LEAVING ME, MAURICE?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH….!"**

This had been going on all morning. The king was having another ridiculous outburst that made little to no sense. The whole zoo could hear it and were covering their ears and earholes so as not to become deaf by Julien's nonstop wailing.

The penguins, now hearing earful's (earholeful's), wondered how they were able to go through their own issues this morning without hearing the entire ruckus going on just a habitat away. They now wished they had gone with option two and stayed out of it because now that they could fully hear it, it was kind of hard to ignore. Skipper made a mental note to smack Private later for making them come over here. They could of all just hid in the lab. The place was soundproof.

"HOW DO WE SHUT THIS THING OFF?" shouted Skipper over the screaming, flippers covering where his ears would be.

"I'ONNO!" answered Rico. "EA' OLE HURT!"

"MINE TOO!" replied Skipper, again over King Julien's screaming. "I CAN'T EVEN HEAR MYSELF SPEAK! AM I SPEAKING? I WANT TO BE SPEAKING! MAKE SURE I'M SPEAKING!"

"WHAT?" Marlene asked, not hearing what Skipper was saying and covering her own earholes.

Maurice groaned. "MAKE IT STOP…"

"_MY EARS ARE UNHAPPY!"_ Mort squealed, clutching his ears.

"WHERE ARE KOWALSKI AND PRIVATE?" asked Skipper.

"WHAT?" asked Marlene.

"I SAID, WHERE ARE KOWALSKI AND PRIVATE?" Skipper repeated.

Marlene replied. "NO, I DON'T OWN A PIRATE!"

"WHAT?" asked Skipper.

* * *

"PRIVATE, GIVE ME A BOOST!" demanded Kowalski.

"WHAT?" asked Private. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE YELLING!"

"I SAID, GIVE ME A BOOST OVER THE FENCE!" Kowalski shouted back. They were still in front of the lemur habitat trying to figure out a way over it without having to stop hugging. "WE HAVE TO GET UP THERE SO I CAN GIVE SKIPPER OPTIONS ON HOW TO SOLVE THIS, NOW GIVE ME A BOOST OVER THIS FENCE!"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL SKIPPAH DENSE!" cried Private, unable to hear him.

* * *

Leonard the koala bear slept soundly in his tree, undisturbed by anything.

* * *

"I'VE NEVER LIKED THOSE LEMURS!" Roy the Rhino snarled to himself.

From a few habitats over, Burt the Elephant struggled to hear what was said. "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I PUT PEANUTS IN MY EARS! YOU WANT SOME?"

"WHAT?" asked Roy.

"I SAID, DO YOU WANT ANY PEANUTS?"

"DID YOU JUST ASK WHAT I SAID?" shouted Roy again, over all the racket.

Burt asked again, trying to be louder. "DO YOU WANT ANY PEANUTS?"

"I SAID, I'VE NEVER LIKED THOSE LEMURS!" answered Roy.

* * *

"OH DEAR!" Roger the sewer- now zoo –alligator cried loudly, paws over his ears. "OH, IT'S TERRI- IT'S HORRI- OH I CAN'T STAND IT!"

* * *

In her office, Alice groaned in agony. "WHAT IS THAT _RACKET?_" She then stomped off to see where it was coming from.

* * *

"**...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAHHHHHH….!" **screamed King Julien.

* * *

"OH! SAVE ME, RICO!" cried Shelley the Ostrich, hopefully, driving her head through a nearby bench to cover it.

* * *

Mason signed desperately to Phil, figuring that if they couldn't speak then they had to sign to understand each other. Mason signed quickly: 'W-E S-H-O-U-L-D F-L-I-N-G P-O-O A-T T-H-O-S-E L-E-M—' Here he got interrupted when Phil cut him off, starting to sign back.

Phil signed back to Mason frantically.

Mason scowled. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T HEAR ME? I WAS SIGNING!"

Phil blinked and signed back: 'W-H-A-T-?'

* * *

In the reptile house, the chameleons were flashing red, green, and yellow colors off the charts in alarm at all the noise coming from outside.

"BAHHHHHHHHH!" exclaimed the chameleons.

In the next enclosure over, Barry the poisonous dart frog yelled at them to be quiet. "WILL THE ELEVEN OF YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND? I SWEAR I'D TOUCH ALL OF YOU IF I COULD!"

"BAHHHHHHHHH!" cried the chameleons.

Barry sighed and his eyes darted to a vent high up on the wall. The small frog smirked and hopped up to it, squeezing under the small opening. "WOULD ANY OF YOU MIND POINTING ME IN THE DIRECTION TO THE LEMUR HABITAT?" asked the dart frog.

"BAHHHHHHHH!" said the chameleons and they started lighting up in a pattern that pointed to the left.

"MUCH OBLIGED!" Barry smiled before hopping down the ventilation system in the direction of the lemur habitat.

* * *

In the kangaroo habitat, Joey bounced around angrily.

"JOEY DON'T LIKE RACKET, MATE!" complained Joey. "THAT BLUDGER'S ASKING FOR A WALLOP!" He bounced over his habitat wall and off to the lemur habitat.

* * *

"OH MY GOSH-" started Becky.

"-THIS NOISE IS SO-" interrupted Stacy.

"-TOTALLY HORRIBLE-" said Becky.

"-SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!" finished the two badger sisters together.

* * *

Darla the baboon gathered the other two female baboons. "LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE DIDN'T LEARN THEIR LESSON, GIRLS! Y'ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS DON'T YOU?"

One of the other baboons nodded with an evil smirk.

"MMM-HMM! THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S TIME FOR SOME BACKWOODS MAGIC!"

* * *

Randy the sheep from the petting zoo shouted in frustration at all the noise. "FOR THE LOVE OF-! UGH!"

* * *

"**...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…! "** King Julien resumed screaming.

* * *

"YO, ALL THIS YELLIN IS INTERRUPTING MY SNOOZES!" complained Bada.

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, GABAGOO?" asked Bing.

* * *

Ted the polar bear lay on his ice with his paws covering his ears. "UGH, THIS SUCKS!"

* * *

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME A BOOST, PRIVATE! FOR EINSTEIN'S SAKE!" Kowalski shouted.

"I JUST DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU INSULT SKIPPAH! IT ISN'T NICE!" yelled Private.

Kowalski groaned. "I WASN'T INSULTING HIM! I JUST WANT TO END THIS ALREADY!"

"SKIPPAH'S BOTTOM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! IN FACT, IT'S MUCH FLUFFIER THAN YOURS COULD EVAH BE!"

* * *

"RINGTAIL! FOR THE LOVE OF THE COLONEL, WILL YOU CEASE YOUR SQUAWKING?!" Skipper screamed.

"...**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH….!"**

* * *

"PRIVATE, WILL YOU STOP ARGUING WITH ME AND JUST HELP ME OVER THE WALL?"

"WHAT?" asked Private.

* * *

"URGH! RINGTAAAAAAAIL!"

"**...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HH….!" **


	8. Just Say The Word

"RAVING LEMUR," screamed Skipper. "I'LL GIVE YOU UNTIL THE COUNT OF FIVE TO STOP SCREAMING, AND IF YOU DON'T YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH RICO!"

"YOU GON' DI'!" exclaimed Rico.

Skipper started his count. "ONE…."

"…**.WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH….!"**

"...TWO…"

"…**..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH…"**

"…THREE…" continued Skipper.

"…**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…."**

Maurice sighed and uncovered his ears. He just simply said: "I'm sorry, Julien."

King Julien instantly stopped his yelling and smiled at his royal adviser. "I am to be forgiving you Maurice."

"…FOUR-" Skipper's eyes widened. "WAIT _WHAT!?_"

Marlene groaned, rubbing her head which now ached. "You don't have to shout, Skipper!"

"Wait just a hash flipping second!" Skipper glared. "_THAT'S_ all it took for you to stop screaming like some kind of banshee?"

"Well of course, silly penguin." Julien said. "What did you think was going to be stopping me?" The lemur king asked with a laugh.

"I don't know," admitted Skipper and started a list. "Duct tape, acorn currency, a new stereo system, a_ muzzle_…" The leader growled the last option, wishing he had enacted _THAT _plan much sooner.

"Nope!" Julien grinned. "Just a mere apology is needed to make de royal king happy again!"

"You're a psychopath, you know that Ringtail?"

"Uh, no! De only path this king is to be taking is de awesome one! Not no psycho path! Dat path is for de crazy penguin! …And why is he looking at me like dat?" blinked King Julien over at the scarred penguin.

Skipper looked over at his crazed comrade. "It appears, dear lemur, that Rico here believes you're a hippie."

"You go'n d'wn hipp'e!" Rico started bobbing and weaving. "Per' m' sion to be' em up?"

"Rico," sighed Skipper, putting a flipper on the weapon's expert's shoulder. "I am tempted to let you act out that request."

"Yahoo!" cheered Rico and raised his fist, about to nail the king lemur.

"WAIT!" gasped Private, he and Kowalski just having made it to the top of the lemur habitat.

"Aw man!" Rico complained. The penguin lowered his fist and started grumbling. "Ah ne'er get to hi' no hipp'e..."

"What…" Kowalski panted, barely able to breathe. "What he said…" The analyst wheezed out before hitting the ground exhausted on top of Private. "We...made it, Skipper..." *long gasp*

Private didn't object to being flattened under the scientist's weight, feeling equally as drained. Never again, they promised themselves in slow pants. Never again. "We made it Skippah…" huffed the private. "We're here for you…"

"What on earth took you two so long to get up here?" demanded Skipper.

"In case you haven't noticed, Skipper…" breathed Kowalski. "We are being forced to hug each other, and that _does_ affect the length of time needed to accomplish tasks...like climbing over walls and even simple _walking_ for instance."

Private lifted his head up from Kowalski's chest. "We would have gotten here much sooner if K'walski didn't have such big feet."

"I do not!" Kowalski shouted. "They are of average size for a penguin of my caliber."

"Perhaps even slightly above," chirped Private with a smirk.

Kowalski twitched. "THAT'S IT! Do you want to take this into the warehouse you-!"

"Kowalski!" Skipper shouted. "Unhand the private this instant!"

"I would, Skipper, you know I really would that is…IF WE HAD PERMISSION TO SEPARATE!" the analyst screamed.

"Denied." said Skipper.

"UGH!" complained Kowalski. "This position couldn't get any more awkward for me!"

"Aye, how oo do'in?" Rico catcalled over to Kowalski. The psychotic penguin looked the strategist over suggestively. "Oo an' me bab'ey."

Kowalski looked at Rico disturbed.

"All nhi'" growled Rico.

"Rico!" scolded Kowalski. "That's unsanitary!"

Private was confused again. "K'walski, what's Rico talking about?"

Skipper answered this one. "Something illegal in most countries, preferably the real holy ones."

"Is it illegal here then?"

"Yes and no." replied Skipper.

"But how can it be both?" Private asked.

Skipper laughed. "You don't know the half of it, young Private!"

"Eh, excuse me?" King Julien interrupted. "Everyone knows dat I am de most holy of dem all! Everyone basks in de king's royal glow!"

"You!" growled Skipper.

"Yes me, silly penguin." laughed Julien. "Who else is being this awesome with my awesome shout-y skills?"

"You and your _shout-y skills_ nearly made the whole world deaf!" Skipper spat. "You need to learn how to control yourself!"

"No one is controlling de royal me dat is me! See? So shut up a little bit, okay?"

"No I will not _shut up a little bit_! There's this little thing called self-control! You should go out to the store and pick yourself up a crate or two!"

"Eh…does it come in fruity flavors and sell for a reasonably low market price?" asked King Julien. "Yeah, I been trying to save de royal funds. Dat is why I've been borrowing a few things from my adoring public every once in a while..."

"You mean stealing things!" scoffed Skipper. "A lot of things! And its like everyday with you that you do it!"

"How dare you accuse de king of such wild accusations!"

Skipper narrowed his eyes. "So are you saying you didn't steal anything from anyone?"

"What? No, I did." admitted Julien without care. "But if you want to get technical about it, it was Maurice and Mort stealing all de things. I just kind of supervised everything and told dem to do it…"

Skipper sighed. "Fine, whatever, but why were you screaming?"

"Screaming?" King Julien repeated.

"Screaming." confirmed Skipper.

"Who was screaming?"

"You were!"

"No I was not. I think I'd remember doing something like dat, showing off my awesome shout-y skills and all like I just did up until a few moments ago when Maurice apologized."

"So you admit you were screaming!" Skipper exclaimed.

"Screaming?" questioned King Julien. "No, dat was not me."

"But you said Maurice apologized and that made you stop!"

"He did." Julien nodded. "And then I stopped screaming."

"Yes!" Skipper nodded vigorously, happy to finally be getting somewhere with the stupid lemur. "So you were screaming! Why were you doing that?"

"Doing what?" blinked Julien.

"Screaming!" shouted Skipper.

"Who was screaming?"

"Ugh!" Skipper groaned, face in his flippers. "It's useless!"

King Julien shook his head with a hearty laugh. "Nothing is ever useless, bossy penguin. Nothing is completely impossible! You just gotta believe in dem and everything works out in de end! Just like those low budget romance-y movies I like! Man, those are de best!"

Skipper slowly lifted his head in shock. He look at the lemur king like he'd just seen a ghost. "What did you just say?"

"Jeezy laweezy!" Julien exclaimed. "Don't you pay attention with dat flat head of yours? De king does not like to be repeating his words he just said that he said he did not like to repeat!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Skipper waved him off, grabbing the lemur by the limbs. "Go back! Repeat what you just said!"

"Uh, Skippah?" Private asked, a bit concerned at how his leader was suddenly acting.

Kowalski looked at Skipper concerned too, wondering what was going on or if what Julien said triggered something in Skipper's head. The analyst observed without a word, sitting on the ground with Private in an embrace on his lap, shushing the private to not interfere.

"Repeat what you just said, lemur!" ordered Skipper.

"No! I am not wanting to!" yelled back Julien. He did not like to repeat himself! He was king! He did not have to do anything he did not want to do! Nobody bossed the royal king around! Nobody! ...Except his mother. He missed the old lady, but he also hoped she got eat up by a foosa or something cuz nobody told the king what to do!

Skipper glared, threatening the lemur. "You repeat it or I'll break your maw off!"

"Woah! Skipper! Calm down!" Marlene warned. "You're scaring Mort!"

Mort stared up, still clutching his ears and completely unaware that he didn't have to yell to be heard anymore. "WHY IS THE PENGUIN HURTING KING JULIEN?"

"Ow! You are hurting de royal arms! Unhand de royal me!" shouted King Julien.

"Skipper! Let him go!" Marlene shouted and pulled the leader off the king.

Skipper stepped back, looking lost and surprised at his actions. He put his flipper to his head. "Wow…"

"Are you okay?" Marlene held Skipper's flipper to steady him.

"Yeah…" answered Skipper. "I don't know what came over me…I'm sorry…"

"You better be being sorry!" yelled King Julien. "Look what you have done to de royal arms! They are bruised upon! Look at dem!"

The king's arms were looked at by those around and everyone was surprised to see that Julien's arms were in fact bruised with tight flipper gripping marks.

"Sorry Ringtail…I just…I heard a voice and it just wouldn't-"

"It's okay, Skipper." said Kowalski. "We all know it's not your fault."

"Well of course it is being his fault!" cried Julien. "Look what he did to de royal me!"

Marlene put her hand on Skipper's shoulder and turned to the self-proclaimed king. "Come on, Julien. Give Skipper a break. He's had a tough week from what I've heard. He did say he was sorry."

"Sorry is not cutting it sister!" King Julien crossed his sore arms.

Kowalski blinked, a little annoyed with the lemur's double standards. "But didn't sorry cut it when Maurice made you upset not ten moments ago?"

"Well of course, smarty penguin! Maurice apologized and it made everything all better again!"

"Well why can't you just accept Skipper's apology?" asked Kowalski, crossly. "His is equal to Maurice's at about 99.8%."

King Julien blinked. "I am not following you."

Kowalski sighed and turned to Maurice. "Maurice, say you're sorry."

Maurice blinked. "Uh, I'm sorry Julien."

"Apology accepted buddy!" smiled the king.

Kowalski nodded. "Now Skipper, say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry, Ringtail."

King Julien scowled. "Apology not accepted, crazy penguin!"

"Skippah's not crazy!" Private shouted at the lemur.

"Yeah!" glared Rico. "He no' cuckoo!"

Marlene crossed her arms. "Skipper's not crazy! He's just hurting right now! And Skipper's right, you do need some self-control every once in a while!"

"Are you to be hearing this Maurice?" exclaimed Julien.

"I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!" shouted Mort with his hands still over his ears, clueless.

"Look, your majesty." Maurice started. "Maybe we should just let this all die."

Skipper visibly winced at the statement given. And to Skipper's dismay, the lemur king picked up the word, making sure to use it in every sentence possible.

"Die, Maurice?" exclaimed King Julien. "You want me to just let this _die_? How could I possibly let it _die_, Maurice? It is very much alive! Unless it's _dead_, then in dat case it has been _killed_!; Gone! No more! Rotting corpses! Never to be seen again FOREVA! You can't just let something _DIE_! Because what if it WANTS TO LIVE?! Then it is _dead_ and there is nothing you can do to bring it back! BECAUSE IT IS _DEAD_! And there is no bringing it back! At all! Completely _DEAD_, Maurice! It is so _dead_ dat it is screaming to be alive again! Yelling for you to help it but you CAN'T!" Julien yelled. "And do you know why dat is?" he asked.

Maurice blinked in an unsure way. "Because it's dead, Julien?"

Julien nodded. "Yes! Because it is _DEAD _its-"

"STOP!" screamed Skipper and everyone looked at him alarmed. He backed away from them in shaky steps. "JUST STOP!"

"Skippah?" called Private.

"Stop…" Skipper muttered in pain, stumbling backwards. The leader fell back on his tail, and tripped off the rock.

"Skippah!" Private gasped as he saw his leader fall over the edge.


	9. Endurance

"Skippah!" Private gasped as he saw his leader fall backwards and off the rock.

"Oh my gosh, Skipper!" cried Marlene as she rushed over to look over the edge. "Skipper?"

Private struggled to stand up, trying to get over to the ledge too see if Skipper was alright after such a fall. He couldn't budge however and the small penguin got frustrated quickly. He started attempting to shove Kowalski out of their embrace. "Move, K'walski!"

"Calm down, Private." Kowalski refused to let go of him. "Skipper's fine."

"What are you talking about?! He just fell off the habitat! What if he's hurt?" exclaimed the private.

"Skipper has endured much worse falls than this." reasoned the analyst. "Remember the zombie episode?"

"But Skippah's not double jointed! We still have to see if he's alright!" Private shoved against the larger penguin. "We need to get up and check on him!"

"And we will as soon as you calm yourself down." answered Kowalski.

Private groaned. He stopped struggling. "Fine!" he shouted. "I'm calm!"

Kowalski begged to differ. "Shouting that you're calm isn't exactly what one would call _being calm_."

"Ugh!" groaned Private, struggling even harder. "Why is everything always a lesson with you?!"

"Woah!" exclaimed King Julien as he looked excitedly over the edge of his big rock. "Did you see that, Maurice? He totally skydived off my royal pedestal! It was awesome and so-" The king looked for another thrilling word but couldn't think of one. "Eh, what is another word for awesome?"

Maurice peered over the ledge. "Painful, your majesty?"

"Oh yes, totally painful." Julien nodded in agreement.

"SKIPPAH!" Private shouted. He was finally able to get his flippers free from Kowalski's grasp long enough to execute a crudely thought out plan to get free of the scientist. The private blindly and furiously wound back his flipper, bringing it to the left side of Kowalski's face.

"SSST!" The analyst hissed at the pain in his cheek, bringing his flippers up to it and releasing the private who ran. Kowalski poked the sore spot on his face, intrigued with how it throbbed as if it had a heartbeat. "Well I'll be," he murmured to himself. "Julien!" Kowalski shot up from the ground and up to the lemur king.

King Julien turned around at his name to have a face full of penguin. "Woah!" The lemur jumped back, bumping into Maurice. "Warn a king when you are going to barge up on him like dat! You excite me and then things happen upon my royal body!" complained Julien who suddenly farted.

Maurice was standing behind the king's tail when it happened so the aye-aye got a face full. His eye twitched and he fainted backwards.

"You see?" King Julien pointed to his tail. "You have excited my booty! Apologize to it!"

Kowalski blinked but shrugged. "I'm sorry?"

"Eh, to de booty my friend!" commanded the king, turning around and shoving his bottom up towards the analyst's face.

"…I'm sorry Julien's booty?" Kowalski said in monotone question.

"He accepts!" Julien smiled, satisfied, turning back around to face the smart penguin.

"Julien!" Kowalski shouted again.

"What is it?! How many times must you call de royal me before telling me what you want?"

"Hold out your arms!" demanded Kowalski.

"No!" refused King Julien. "You are just going to be hitting upon dem! Just like de bossy penguin!"

"I promise I won't."

"Well, okay, if you say you won't then you won't." nodded Julien and willingly held out his arms. It was about time someone took notice of how insanely buff he was. It was a bonus that it was the smart egg head shaped penguin who noticed. The lemur had been noticing _his body _as well. Julien grinned happily to himself with stifled giggles.

Kowalski examined the lemur's arms, all around the bruised area that Skipper was squeezing. If he calculated this right, he would be able to tell by the redness just how much force his leader's flippers gave off and if he took Private's force against his own face he'd be able to subtract Private's force by Skipper's force to see which one was angrier. This way he could find out Skipper's exact fury level and analyze exactly what the leader was feeling! It was genius! That is…he_ could_ calculate this if Julien would stop staring at him like he was the last milliliter of H2O on earth. It was unnerving and just plain weird.

"Would you please stop staring at me like that?" asked Kowalski, eyes narrowed.

"Eh, like what my darling?" King Julien blinked, grinning ear to ear.

"Aye!" cried Rico, shoving the lemur away and getting in between Kowalski and Julien. "Bak off ma wo'mn!"

Kowalski scoffed. "I 'm a male!"

"Ah don' judge." Rico shrugged.

"Neither do I," Julien said seductively and brought Kowalski's flipper to his lips with a playful smirk.

Kowalski backed away from the two, completely disgusted.

"Skippah!" Private yelled, almost throwing himself over the edge to see the whereabouts of his leader. This got everyone's attention to the side of the lemur habitat. "I'm coming Skippah! …Skippah?"

"What's wrong?" asked Kowalski, pulling his flipper away and preventing Julien from kissing any further up his arm. The lemur scowled at this.

Rico shoved Julien back against his thrown, upsetting the lemur king even further before the psycho penguin shrugged to answer the analyst. "I'onno."

Maurice was dizzily getting back up after fainting from the excitement from Julien's rear when Kowalski pushed past him, knocking him down again.

"Excuse me!" Kowalski said over his shoulder as he pushed his way over to the rock ledge. He paused as he stared down, occasionally blinking. Skipper was nowhere to be found at the bottom of the lemur habitat where he should have landed. "Well, that is quite peculiar." The strategist started rubbing his chin with his flipper, then he remembered where it's been (Julien's mouth), and pulled his flipper away from his face in revulsion.

"Where is he?" gasped Private.

Rico shrugged and cupped both his flippers around his beak. He began to call for the leader. "'KIPPER! WHE' AW OO? OO GE' BAK HE' RI' NO'! OO GROUN'ED!"

"I don't think grounding him is going to work, Rico." said Private.

Rico tried a different approach. "'ERE, 'KIPPER, 'KIPPER!" The psychotic penguin whistled a call. "'ERE BOY!"

Private frowned. "I don't think that's working either."

Rico plopped himself down at the edge of the rock. "I go' noth'in."

"Well, at least you tried…" Private sniffed, beginning to cry.

"Private…what's wrong?" Kowalski placed a flipper around the young penguin. They weren't hugging anymore. There didn't seem to be a point. Skipper ran off somewhere, obviously wanting to be alone.

"This is all my fault, K'walski!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is! If I didn't open my blabbery beak then we'd all be back at the HQ, and if I didn't suggest we come over to quiet down Julien then Skippah wouldn't have freaked out and attacked Julien, then he never would have fell off the rock and ran off. We'd know where he was right now if it wasn't for me!" Private finished.

Rico blinked. He couldn't argue with that logic, especially when it was all true. The weapon's expert smacked the private in discipline. "Wha oo do all tha' fo'?"

"Hey!" Kowalski shoved Rico's smacking hand away, glaring at the psycho penguin. "This _isn't_ Private's fault!"

"I' not?" asked Rico.

"No!" Kowalski answered sternly. "It's not!"

Private rubbed his cheek, looking down in depression. "It's alright, K'walski. I deserve it. You can continue hitting me, Rico."

Rico never said no to a slapping. He shrugged. "A'ight!" He raised his flipper again.

"Stop it, Rico!" Kowalski scolded and then looked at Private. "Private, look at me!"

"No."

"That's an order."

"You're not Skippah! You can't order me around." Private mumbled.

"Yes I can!" scoffed Kowalski, offended.

"Oo can?" asked Rico.

"I'm second in command, aren't I?" Kowalski exclaimed smugly.

Rico and Private shook their heads disapprovingly at the analyst.

"What?" asked Kowalski.

Marlene stood beside the scientist, patting his shoulder. "No one likes a show off, Kowalski-"

"Hands off my woman, less prettier woman!" Julien slapped Marlene's hand away from his smart penguin.

"Hey!" Marlene scowled, rubbing the back of her hand.

"Ste' off!" Rico pushed Julien.

"You are the one to be stepping off, my friend!" Julien pushed the penguin back.

"Ah not oo fren'!"

"Well I am not being yours either!" retorted Julien angrily.

"EXCUSE ME!" Kowalski shouted at the two. "First of all and most importantly, I AM MALE! And second, is this REALLY necessary right now?"

King Julien whizzed up against the scientist so they were face to face and he was playing with the penguin's chest feathers. The lemur purred at the penguin. "You have a _very_ feathery _chest_…I like dat in a woman…"

"**I AM A **_**MALE!**_**" **


	10. Lost Presidentials

"…I'm just saying, K'walski…" Private coaxed.

"Well stop saying!" Kowalski snapped. "Because what you're saying just isn't plausible!"

They were all still in the lemur habitat just hanging around and doing nothing but hanging their legs over the edge of the rock; Kowalski, Private, Mort, Maurice, Marlene, King Julien and Rico. Except Julien and Rico were the only ones standing, not oddly enough on either sides behind Kowalski. The lemur king and the crazed penguin threw murderous glances to each other every once in a while. Other than that, things were toned down completely, save for the current disagreement going on between Kowalski and everyone else.

"Well yeah," agreed Private, answering Kowalski's previous statement. "But that's because you just don't want it to be."

They hadn't gone after Skipper after he presumably ran off. Kowalski wanted to, saying how he hadn't been helping Skipper at all this week. He'd come to terms that ignoring isn't at all helping and now he wanted to make up for all of that. Ironically, Private was the decider that said they shouldn't follow him. His reasoning was that Skipper hadn't been alone all week, actually they had been too busy trying to distract him from his thoughts that they not once left him alone. That was probably the reason Skipper gone off, to clear his head and think. So they didn't follow him.

"Uh huh!" nodded Rico in agreement, siding with Private against Kowalski.

"Yeah," agreed King Julien. "Why can't you just suck it up like a man and accept de facts?"

Kowalski's eye twitched and he screamed. "I AM _NOT_ A **_GIRL_**!" It didn't matter how many times he told them why that was scientifically impossible, they all still had some possibility that it could be true.

"Hey, you never know buddy!" Julien told him. The lemur thought about what he was saying. "I mean, darling." He pulled the smart penguin's flipper to his lips again.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" The analyst shouted, snatching his flipper away.

"Yeah!" Rico shouted at Julien. "Oo stop callin 'er tha'!"

"You aren't helping, Rico!" Kowalski growled. "And I'm not a her! Clearly as you can all see, I am _all_ male! Right Marlene?" The analyst looked for reassurance from the otter.

Marlene laughed. "I don't know, Kowalski…" She chuckled. "Alice _did_ say that there was a female penguin in your habitat…" The otter snickered at the analysts glare he was giving her.

"That's what I'm saying!" agreed Private.

Kowalski scoffed. "A classic common human error. Everyone knows all mammals are complete morons- _Oh_…" stopped Kowalski. He bit the bottom of his beak as Marlene glared at him. He rubbed the back of his neck as he meekly chuckled. "And by that, of course I mean complete geniuses-" The scientist watched her get up from beside him and storm off. "Oh come on, Marlene! You analyzed that the wrong way! Come back now!" He realized she wasn't coming back. "Oh how serendipitous …" he groaned.

Maurice was watching in the direction Marlene left. The aye-aye scooted over to take her spot next to Kowalski. "I don't blame her for leaving." The aye-aye lemur shrugged his chubby shoulders.

"Maurice, please…not now…" sighed Kowalski. "She just took it the wrong way, that's all."

"Well what way was she supposed to take it?" asked Maurice. "You called her and her whole species a bunch of morons. In fact, you said _all mammals _were." The aye-aye narrowed his eyes. "And I ain't too pleased with you right now either."

"Stop it, Maurice!" scolded King Julien. "This is de Americas, opinions don't count here! This is _not_ a free country!"

"Actually, it _is_ a free country." Private informed the lemur. He swung his legs back and forth over the rock ledge of the lemur, sitting on the other side of Kowalski.

"It is?" asked Julien, surprised.

"Well, yes." nodded Private.

"Well how come I was not to be hearing of this before? I could have ran for de president by now if I had known dat I didn't have to be a self-proclaimed king! I could have tricked people into voting for me instead of forcing dem like I do with these guys." The king pointed back to Maurice and Mort. "I am so running on de elections next year! …Actually, Maurice will run and then carry me to de big house baby!" exclaimed Julien with pride.

Kowalski looked sideways at the lemur. "You want to go to _jail_?"

"What? No. I wanted to live in dat big white house down in Washington Carolina." said the lemur.

Private shook his head. That didn't sound right. "Is that even a real place?"

"Yeah, i' a pla'e." Rico nodded that it was. He thought he heard of it. It did sound familiar somehow.

"That doesn't sound right…" Private thought about it.

Julien glared at the tiny penguin. "Are you questioning de king's geo-mathematical skills?"

Private continued to express his concern. "Is that even a real _skill_?" None of this sounded correct at all.

"Now you are questioning my _skill-naming_ skills? What in de heck is wrong with you, smallest penguin?!" shouted Julien.

"Don't yell at the private, Julien." glared Kowalski.

"Thank you, K'walski."

"You're welcome, Private."

"Hipp'e?" Rico pointed at Julien in question.

"Who you calling a hippie, crazy penguin?" King Julien glared.

"I thought you said Skipper was the crazy one now." Maurice pointed out.

"Oh he is," nodded Julien. "There are two crazy penguins now."

Private glared at the lemur. "Skippah isn't crazy! I wish you'd stop saying that about him!"

King Julien thumped Private on the beak, making the young penguin scowl and rub the spot. "Silly small penguin, of course de Skipper is crazy. Why else would he attack de royal me?"

"Would you stop calling me silly?" huffed Private. "And I told you Skippah isn't crazy, so stop saying it!" The private grumbled to himself, "I'm starting to see why he attacked you in the first place…"

Kowalski stared at the two, thoroughly displeased. Amateur analysts, he thought. "Skipper didn't _attack_ anyone."

"Eh, yes he did!" Julien nodded. "Just look at de royal arms! Do you see how red and hurt-y they are?!" The king held out his bruised limbs for everyone to see his agony, which actually stopped hurting completely after the first 5 minutes which was about a good 45 minutes ago.

"Yes, I see them, but Skipper didn't attack you, or at least he didn't mean to hurt you. He's been under a lot of stress lately. He just isn't himself." said Kowalski.

Julien scoffed. "Well if he isn't himself then who de heck is he?"

Private sadly sighed his answer. "A poor unfortunate soul…"

"None of you stupid penguins are making any of de sense! What could be so wrong with de bossy crazy penguin dat he went all cuckoo in de head?"

"SKIPPAH _**ISN'T**_ CRAZY!" screamed Private, the lemur king starting to drive him insane.

"He lost someone very close to him." Kowalski told the lemur.

"Then how come he doesn't just find dem again? There's a lost-ed and found in dis zoo for a reason! Or he could just get a new somebody from there if he wants!" reasoned Julien. "And don't yell at me like de bossy penguin did and tell me dat all those things belong to somebody else, cuz if they cared about it den they probably wouldn't have been losing it!"

"I would never lose _you_, King Julien!" Mort said happily to the king, snuggling up against his side.

"And I would like for you to please be getting lost!" King Julien glared at the small lemur. "Mort, go jump in de lost-ed and found-ed box! And do not come out until I say de magic words!"

"Anything for you!" Mort said and started skipping off to the lost and found. The sad-eyed lemur stopped and turned around. "Uh, what are the magic words again?"

Julien scoffed. "I am not going to _tell _you dem, stupid Mort!"

"But how will I know when to come out?" asked Mort innocently.

"When I say de magic words!" King Julien shouted. "Have you not been paying attention to your king?!"

"No, King Julien!" Mort whimpered, admitting he in fact hadn't been listening.

"Good! Now go!" commanded Julien, and after the tiny lemur ran off to do what he told it, the king sighed happily and squeezed himself in between Private and Kowalski. The private glared at the king at this. "Oh thank de heavens! I thought he would _never_ be going away!" King Julien smiled in satisfaction and put his arm around Kowalski.

Kowalski narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "Do you _mind_?" He hinted at the fact that he didn't want the lemur to touch him.

Julien shrugged. "Not at all, why?"

Kowalski groaned and shoved the arm from being slung around him back to its owner. "I like my _personal space_." growled the analyst.

King Julien blinked. "_I_ like your personal space too," the ring-tail puckered his lips, leaning forward to connect their mouths.

Kowalski grimaced and pulled away. "What is _WRONG_ with you?!"


	11. From Unlikely Sources

"So who did Skipper lose anyway?" asked Maurice after a while.

The three subordinate penguins looked between each other, silently voicing their opinions on whether they should answer or not. Finally Kowalski nodded that they could.

Rico nodded at the decision and answered the aye-aye's question. "Hans." he shrugged.

Maurice furrowed his brows. "Hans? You mean that crazy puffin Skipper's always threatening whenever he sees?"

Private nodded. "That's him."

"_Ah gon' ki' oo Hans_!" Rico imitated something Skipper had once said to the deceased Dane. "Yep, tha' guy." nodded the psychotic penguin.

"He's dead now." informed Private.

"Quite a tragedy," Kowalski added.

"Man, _he's_ the reason Skipper's acting so-" Maurice paused at the private's warning glare. He finished in a safer way. "-acting so not himself?"

Private was satisfied with what the chubby lemur finished with. "He's been off ever since we got the news."

"News?" questioned Maurice.

Private nodded. "From the head branch, Skippah's own commanders, the general sent us the letter confirming Hans' death."

"How'd he die?" Maurice asked. "Natural causes?"

"No, no, no." Kowalski shook his head; the irony of the question was incredible to him. "He died by much different means."

Maurice didn't get it. "How much more different could you get?"

Rico answered this one. "Uh, Mauri' lok a' thi'." Rico said before pretending to start firing off an invisible rifle. "BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! See? Li' tha'."

"_Oh._" Maurice looked at the penguin, quite disturbed. "Like _that_."

"No way't, ah not done." said Rico and started up again. "BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! ...BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!"

Kowalski glared at crazed penguin. "Alright Rico, I think he gets it. Now please sto-"

"-BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!" exclaimed Rico, firing off his empty flippers.

"I said that's _enough_ Rico, you can cease your fake fire-"

Rico kept at it. "-BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG BANG, BA-"

"FOR PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM'S SAKE, RICO, STOP IT!" screamed Kowalski.

Rico smiled sheepishly. "Z'orry."

Kowalski sighed, putting his face in his lap. "We can't just keep sitting here and firing off fake guns, we need to figure out a way to help Skipper deal with this."

"I'm sure you'll think of something for us to do, K'walski." said Private. "You are the options guy after all."

"But that's just it! I don't have any options to give!" exclaimed Kowalski. "On a regular basis I prescribe the best possible options in the situations at hand based on my knowledge!"

Private shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"SO, I don't _know_ anything!" Kowalski threw out his flippers. King Julien tried to catch the beloved flipper as it was thrown out in front of him but the smart penguin drew it back too quick and to the lemur's own disappointment he wasn't able to grab it. The analyst continued with his dialogue unfazed by this. "I don't know what happened in Denmark, and I don't truly know what happened between Hans and Skipper, therefore I can't make any options on the subject." Kowalski sighed. "I'm stuck…"

"_Unless_ we find out what happened." suggested Private.

"How we gon' do tha'?" Rico asked. Really how? They'd never get Skipper to tell them anything. Brute force could work, he thought. He hoped Kowalski opted on using brute force.

"I've already thought up options of doing that and there's just no way." Kowalski told them in dismay. "We'll never get Skipper to willingly tell us anything. Face it, we _barely_ know what happened to Manfredi and Johnson!" exclaimed the scientist, incredulously. "And we were _there _when it happened! Skipper doesn't break easily."

King Julien randomly laughed into the conversation. "Don't I know it!" He threw his arm around Kowalski again only to have the smart penguin slap it away on instinct without looking. The penguins ignored him otherwise.

"I thought Skipper hated that guy." Maurice cut in.

"Skipper hated Johnson?" asked Private.

Kowalski cut in as well with his infinite wisdom on everything. "No, no. Skipper never hated Johnson. That was just a rumor. Skipper _did_ however have a fallout with Manfredi that didn't exactly end with them going out for snow cones."

Rico started up his invisible gun again. "BANG, BANG, BANG!"

"Maybe that's how they went." Private proposed.

"Nah," Kowalski dismissed the idea. "You can't believe everything you hear, Private."

"Uh guys," interrupted Maurice. "I was talking about the puffin guy. I thought Skipper, you know, didn't like him."

"Like I previously stated," Kowalski started, "We have no idea what happened between Hans and Skipper in Denmark. So there is no way for us to know how the two acted around each other back then."

Private offered a small and thoughtful smile. "I like to think that they were once the best of friends!" exclaimed the private in all his optimism. "That they used to hang out and take all the wacky photos they wanted! At least, I bet that's how Hans would have wanted it to be… before he…" Private stopped mid-sentence and looked to Rico for assistance.

Rico looked to Kowalski for permission. Kowalski nodded with a sigh that said it was okay.

Rico took back out his invisible gun with a wicked smile. "BANG!" he shouted.

"Why don't you just ask someone who knows?" Maurice asked them.

"Uh, Mauri'? Oo no ge' it." Rico shook his head and demonstrated again for the aye-aye. "BANG!"

"Rico's right." Kowalski sighed. "No matter how morally wrong what he's saying is, he's right. The only other person who knows other than Skipper is Hans, and he's-" The analyst then shouted at Rico who was about to start up again. "Don't even think about it!"

Rico frowned. "Aw man! Fi'! Ah ne'er ge' to ha' no fun arou' here…" grumbled Rico as he mumbled out of sight. Now it was only Kowalski, Private, and Maurice in the shot.

"There's gotta be someone else who knows something!" said Maurice. "_Anybody_."

"Like Skippah said, it's between him, Hans, and the Danes." Private supposed.

Maurice smiled at the obvious conclusion in his mind. "Well that seems simple enough. Why don't you just ask the Danes?"

"GAHAH!" Kowalski freaked out in horror.

"We can't do that!" shouted Private.

"AH OO CRAZY!?" Rico screamed.


	12. Worse Than Hipsters

"Yeah, Maurice!" shouted King Julien. "Are you being crazy?!" The king paused. "Eh, why is he crazy again? And what are these _Danes_ of which you speak of?"

"Are you _insane_, mammal?!" Kowalski glared at Maurice. The aye-aye glared back at the mention of his line of animal genetics. The analyst was appalled. "We cannot consult with the _Danes_ for help!"

"Well why not?" asked Maurice. He really didn't see the problem. If they had a way to help Skipper, why didn't they just do it?

"They're evil!" gasped Private. "They do horrible things to good penguins out there!"

Maurice didn't look too concerned. "And by good penguins, you mean Skipper, right? Cuz between you me he ain't all that good in the first place..."

"And us too!" Private defended. "They chased us, and cornered us, and shot at Skippah!"

"BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!" exclaimed Rico ecstatically. He then looked over at Kowalski and apologized. "Oh, z'orry 'Walski."

"It's completely fine." Kowalski reassured the mohawk sporting penguin. "_That_ one is without a doubt _justified_!" spat the analyst about the Danes.

Rico nodded and yelled it again for good measure. "BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!"

"They almost got him too!" Private nodded breathlessly. He was truly scared that day. He'd remember it forever. The Danes were not ones to be messed with. Skipper told them that the night they got back from breaking into the embassy there. The young penguin was scared then too. After that mission Skipper was awfully weak. The leader apologized to them for ever bringing them there before he passed out. Private had wanted to take their leader in to see the vet but Kowalski had assured him that Skipper would be fine and that there was no need. The worse that would happen to their leader would be that he'd be out of commission for a few days, and that's exactly what happened. From then on Private decided that the Danes were cruel and heartless. You couldn't just shoot at cute and cuddly! So the private also started hating Hans truly after that. If Skipper said that Hans was the reason the Danes hated him then it was Hans' fault that Skipper was hurt that day. It was clichéd common sense to any young mind like his. "I didn't think Skippah would make it that day…"

"Neither did I!" glared Kowalski. "The Danes are cold and senseless people and we _refuse_ to affiliate ourselves with them in any way!"

"Yeah!" Private crossed his flippers.

"No bang!" shouted Rico.

"Alright, alright!" Maurice put his hands up as if to surrender. "It was a suggestion! No need to lay an _egg_ or anything."

"I AM A _MALE_!" screeched Kowalski automatically. He was given weird looks from those around him and he shook his head to clear it. "Sorry," The analyst coughed and went on seriously. "And besides, we couldn't contact the Danes even if we wanted to."

"Sure we could." said Private. "Skippah has them on speed dial. He and Rico prank call them every Thursday after we're both asleep, K'walski."

Kowalski gave a look of harsh criticism towards Rico.

"Eh he he." Rico laughed wickedly. "Suckas." He cackled.

"Anyway…" Kowalski started again. "What I meant was, by contacting the Danes we could put Skipper in immediate danger. They could track us and find out where we are. They'd attack as soon as they found out it was us calling, either that or as soon as they find out it concerns Skipper. Most likely the second option, Skipper_ is_ their number one enemy after all."

"Oh dear, well we definitely can't do that." Private said. "We can't let Skippah get hurt. I'd rather have him be depressed forever than be hurt. So what do we do?"

Maurice shrugged, out of options for the three birds and also annoyed. The sun was going to set soon. Didn't they ever go home? He surrendered to giving them one more option before he'd kick them out. "Why don't you just _make _Skipper tell you?"

"AH OO CRAZY?!" yelled Rico.

"No wait, he's not crazy, that could actually work!" Kowalski exclaimed excitedly, having an epiphany in his brain. By Joe, they could get Skipper to tell them everything! "We could stage an intervention!"

"AH _OO_ CRAZY!?" Rico yelled at Kowalski now, shaking the genius by his shoulders.

"Crazy to think of going through with it?" asked Kowalski with the widest grin. "Probably! But crazy enough to actually try it! Not me, baby!"

"So we're not having an intervention for Skipper then?" asked the private, getting confused again.

"Oh we're having an intervention for Skipper alright!" Kowalski exclaimed, still with that huge grin. "It'll be the _best_ intervention he's ever had and one he'll certainly never forget!"

"I don't think we'll forget it either, that is if it goes wrong." whimpered the private, rubbing his cheeks and thinking of the slaps they'd get if they bothered their leader to the point of him getting furious.

"Pah!" waved off Kowalski. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Private gulped, thinking about everything that could and _would _go wrong if they did this. "Skippah gets angry." pointed out Private, shuddering.

Rico turned around and looked behind him at his own bottom, looking at it forlornly. "Ow ma butt." saying that there was the possibility of him being spanked or kicked there. The two outranked penguins didn't look too eager about this as the analyst did.

"Hey, come on now. We're doing this for Skipper!" said Kowalski. "You want to help him don't you?"

"Uh-huh!" nodded Rico.

"Of course we do!" answered Private.

"Well this is for his own good then!" the scientist told them. "No more Mr. cute and cuddly, boys! We are going to march down into that HQ, confront Skipper about his problems, and even tie him down if we have to!"

The private and the weapon's expert shared a glance, not too keen on or brave enough to even try to do any of that to their leader.

"We'll stand our ground and tell him that as his team, we need to- no, we have a RIGHT to know what happened back in Denmark! And if he doesn't listen, well, then we're going to use _BRUTE _FORCE!" exclaimed Kowalski, sounding forceful and crazy at the same time. "Who's with me?!" he shouted enthusiastically, ready to hear the cheers but all he was met with was a brief silence and then,

"AH OO CRAZY?!" shouted Rico, throwing around his flippers to show how insane the scientist sounded right about now.

"Uh, K'walski?" eased Private, every bit concerned about the scientist's mental state, perhaps more than Skipper's now. "Doesn't that _also_ turn into mutiny with how you look at it?"

"Well, yes," the analyst admitted. "But so does what you just said."

"It does?" asked Private.

"Yes, and you just mutinied against me, Private." said Kowalski.

"Hey!" shouted King Julien, stomping up to the plate and poking Private in the chest. "Ain't nobody making de sweet mutiny lovin on my feather fish but ME! You got dat, smallest silly penguin?"

"The…the what?" blinked the private, shocked and so very confused.

"Ya heard me!" shouted the lemur.

Private nodded. "Yes, I heard you but I just didn't understand anything you said."

"I _SAID_ ain't _NOBODY_ makin de _hot_ lovin on _MY _feather fish but KING JULIEN! Ya hearin me now?!" shouted King Julien.

"Y-yes Julien…" gulped the private.

"Julien, _please_!" Kowalski pushed the lemur out of the private's face. "Private doesn't even know what it is you're talking about!" the analyst paused, thought, and spoke again. "_**I **_don't even know what it is you're talking about!"

Rico rolled his eyes. "He _SEY'D_ tha' ain' NOB'DY-"

"I _know_ what he said!" shouted Kowalski, and groaned to himself. "Can we just go now before he says something _else_ that perplexes me?"

Rico groaned. "'ight, 'ight!" the weapon's expert grumbled and slapped private in the back of the head to get him to start moving. "C'mon st'pid!" he started pushing a hopelessly confused Private out of the lemur habitat. The small penguin kept asking him questions about what Julien was talking about all the way out so finally Rico gave him an answer that ceased all of Private's further questions. "En tha butt." The weapon's expert laughed at the stunned silence that followed as they left the lemur habitat.

Kowalski kept trying to leave but Julien kept stepping in front of him. Finally the strategist had enough. "Excuse me!" he shouted, trying to get past.

"Hey gorgeous," King Julien purred, getting down on his knees in front of the smart penguin. He looked the penguin up and down playfully. "Did anybody tell you dat you look like a model? Albeit you're kinda fat, but your belly reminds me of a sumo wrestla. Avery _pretty_, sumo wrestla," the lemur king bit his lips.

"Uh…thanks…" Kowalski stared at the lemur in front of him, completely weirded out. "Can I go now?" the analyst started walking around him.

"Where are you going?" exclaimed Julien, upset.

"Home?" shrugged Kowalski. What was the lemur's problem today?

"Can I come with you?"

The analyst eyes narrowed slightly in confusion. "…You want to come_ home_ with me?"

"Well if you insist, my love! Why didn't you ask sooner? I would have had Maurice pack up all my royal things. Well, not _ALL_ my royal things…there is always ONE royal thing I _always _keep on hand for occasions like these." said the lemur king, smirking.

"And…what occasion would this be?" asked Kowalski.

"I'll give you a hint…" whispered Julien in the penguin's ear hole. "If me and u was a letter, I would put _us_ together…"

"Me isn't a letter," stated the analyst. "It's a word."

"Eh…" King Julien tried to think of something else to say. "Well, if you and me were words, I would put us together in de alphabet…"

"That doesn't make any sense." Kowalski told him.

"WILL YOU BE SHUTTING UP?! I AM TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC TO YOU!" shouted Julien, getting angry. He saw the way the penguin looked at him with shock at being yelled at before the lemur regained his sweet and purring tone. "I mean…_did it hurt_?"

The analyst was once again confused by the lemur king. "Did _what_ hurt?"

"Why, when you fell out of hell of course! You silly penguin!"


	13. Countless

"I'm telling you two, there's something going on with Julien." worried Kowalski as they walked back to their habitat.

The three lower ranked penguins walking in a line on the zoo path. They'd left the lemur habitat finally which now came as a relief to them since it felt like they'd been there all day. They don't think they'd ever stayed there that long before and Kowalski was glad to get out of there more than anyone. Julien was acting really inappropriate and weird towards him lately. "He's acting so strange and he's- Gah! Just look at what he's doing back there! Don't you see him?!" shouted Kowalski, ecstatically pointing behind them so they could see what he was seeing.

Rico looked back to the lemur habitat to see the lemur king on his bouncy cuddling up to a tall stuffed penguin toy from the Zoovenir shop. The weapon's expert blinked at this before turning back around to face forward. "Ah don' see an'thin."

"What?!" exclaimed the scientist. "How could you not see that!?" Kowalski turned in desperation to the private hoping the small penguin saw something amiss. "Private?! What do you see? Look at Julien right now and _tell me_ he's not acting completely strange!"

Private looked back to indeed see Julien acting strangely with the penguin toy. The self-proclaimed king was touching it and looking at it in such admiration. Private stared confused at the scene for a moment and then brought his gaze back to Kowalski's awaiting face for his answer. The small penguin shrugged. Kowalski _did_ say to tell him that the lemur wasn't acting strange. "Uh, he's not acting strange."

"Are you _blind_, Private? _Of course_ he's acting strange!" yelled Kowalski.

"But I thought you told me not to tell you that he was!" defended Private.

"I didn't- alright, _yes_. I _understand_ how you misinterpreted that, but what I meant was that it's obvious something is up with Julien and somehow it involves me."

"Well if you thought he was acting strange to you why didn't we just leave after Skippah left instead of just spending the whole day there?"

Normally the analyst didn't like sitting around. He considered that valuable time wasted. He only ever sat around and was unproductive when he was out of ideas or stumped which was rare in his case. Alright _almost _rare. He wasn't that much of a show off was he? No he wasn't because he just admitted that at some points he did draw blanks. There, he admitted it. Well he admitted it to himself anyway. He'd never admit such a thing to anyone else of course! They'd think less of him for sure, and him being a lieutenant and all he had to keep up his good- UGH, WOULD HE EVER STOP PATTING HIMSELF ON THE BACK?

"Not...a...showoff!" Kowalski beat his flippers into his head, and then looked up from his outburst. "I'm sorry, Private. What?"

"I said," started Private. "If you thought he was acting strange why didn't we just leave after Skipper left instead of just spending the whole day there?"

"Because we didn't know if Skipper went somewhere else or returned back to the HQ. We couldn't chance it and risk barging in on Skipper. If he wants to be alone then we as his friends should respect his wishes." explained Kowalski. "If he wants privacy, we should allow it to him and not invade on it."

"But K'walski? Aren't we invading on Skippah's privacy by barging in on him and demanding he tell us what happened in Denmark?" questioned Private.

"Right…" Kowalski scratched the back of his head. "Well, in special circumstances such as these we _are_ allowed to bend the rules if only slightly. We need answers from Skipper if we want to help him and in order to get them we have to pry," explained the analyst, and then he added. "Again, slightly." urged Kowalski.

"How slightly?" asked Private. "We aren't going to…hurt Skippah, are we?"

"Of course we aren't going to- Rico! Would you put that thing _away_? Seriously now!" Kowalski glared at the scarred penguin. "I said we aren't hurting Skipper and that's the end of it!"

Rico grumbled and threw the baseball bat he had away. It flew through Alice's office window with the sound of glass shattering.

Kowalski held his glare at the psychotic penguin complete with his flippers folded over his chest. Private stood next to the analyst. The young penguin was more concerned than angry over the window being broken.

"Hi penguins!" Mort's voice called and the three penguins turned to see the sad-eyed lemur waving at them through the broken window. "I found your stick!"

"Mort?" questioned Private. "What are you doing in there?"

"I'm waiting for the magic words!" Mort said. "King Julien is giving them to me! I hope he gives them to me soon, but I'd wait forever for King Julien!"

Private frowned. "The lost and found is in Alice's office? No wonder nothing ever gets…well, _found_."

"I found popcorn!" smiled Mort who munched on the stale snack food. He made a strained face as he tried to chew it. There was an unusually loud sound of something breaking. "I also chipped _allll_ my teeth! They are ouchey! Have you seen King Julien?"

"Nuh uh." Rico replied.

"Oh okay, thank you second crazy penguin!" Mort beamed.

"Secon'?" questioned Rico. "Watchu talkin bou'?"

Private gave an exasperated sigh and addressed the little lemur. "Mort, don't say that! Skippah isn't crazy! He's just going through a tough time right now! That's all!"

"Oh, okay." Mort blinked. "Which one is the Skipper penguin?"

The three penguins looked between each other in bewilderment.

"Is it that one?" asked Mort innocently, pointing at Rico.

Private shook his head. "No Mort, that's not Skippah."

"Oh." said Mort. "Is it that one?" pointed the small lemur at Private.

"I'm not Skippah either." answered Private.

"Oh." Mort blinked again. "Is it the girly penguin?" This time he pointed to Kowalski who scowled.

"No!" shouted Kowalski, his tone more than irritated. "None of us are Skipper! And I am not at all girly! Where would one even get that idea in the first place?"

From behind Kowalski, Rico raised his flipper to answer the question. Private noticed this and quickly lowered Rico's flipper, shaking his head that the weapon's expert really shouldn't respond to that.

Mort answered though. "King Julien said— mmph!"

The analyst covered the small lemur's mouth, cutting him off. "I don't care nor have the patience to deal with what Julien says on the matter. All that needs to be known is that Julien is far wrong from whatever rumors he is trying to spread around the zoo about me. Julien is foolish and downright idiotic." Kowalski finished with a curt nod and removed his flipper, satisfied with what he had to say.

Mort continued as soon as his mouth was free again. "But King Julien said—"

"No, I don't want to hear it." interrupted Kowalski.

Mort paused for a few long seconds before, "Do you want to hear it now?"

"No!" glared the analyst. "I don't!"

"When do you want to hear it?" Mort asked.

"You don't get it! I don't want to hear it at all, never. Never want to hear it!"

"When does never end?" asked Mort.

Kowalski was astonished by the ignorance of the lemur. "What? It- It doesn't! Never is infinite!"

"What's infinite?"

"Never is." answered the analyst.

"Why?" asked Mort.

"B-because it is!" gasped Kowalski.

"Why?"

"I can't just stand here and explain why never is infinite to you, Mort! You'd never understand!"

Mort titled his head in question. "Never?"

"Definitely never."

"For how long?" asked Mort, really starting to get on Kowalski's nerves.

Kowalski sighed blandly, slumping his shoulders. "Forever…" answered the analyst. "Which is also infinite."

"Oh!" nodded Mort and then he held up a nickel from the box he stood in. "Is _this_ infinite?"

"No, that's a nickel. It's value only goes up to 0.05, meaning it has a limit and is cut off. So it cannot under any circumstances be infinite." explained Kowalski.

"Is _popcorn_ infinite?" Mort held up the stale bag for the smart penguin to see.

"It depends on the range you're referring to. If you're referring to the popcorn in the bag you are currently holding then the answer is no. That has a cut off limit as well. In that case the popcorn is not infinite, but if you're talking all the popcorn in the world it again depends on your meaning of infinite."

"Are _you_ infinite?" asked Mort.

"No, I am not." replied Kowalski. "Much to my dismay, I too am eternally prone to a cut off limit. That would be my death."

"Oh." nodded Mort. The small lemur was satisfied with asking questions it seemed and Kowalski was relieved, that is until Mort said something else that required immediate attention. Mort's back was turned to address the pile of forgotten stuff under his feet but the penguins still heard him as clear as day. And they wished they hadn't. "The puffin wasn't infinite." Mort said, thinking nothing of the meaning of his words.


	14. Expendable

**Authors Note: Ah, hereee we go! Things kick off! A little anyway... but short. Sorries! I write long chapters and split them into fours. **

**~Natty**

* * *

"Are _you_ infinite?" asked Mort.

"No, I am not." replied Kowalski. "Much to my dismay, I too am eternally prone to a cut off limit. That would be my death."

"Oh." nodded Mort. The small lemur was satisfied with asking questions it seemed and Kowalski was relieved, that is until Mort said something else that required immediate attention. Mort's back was turned to address the pile of forgotten stuff under his feet but the penguins still heard him as clear as day. And they wished they hadn't. "The puffin wasn't infinite." Mort said, thinking nothing of the meaning of his words.

The three penguins gaped at each other, shocked at what they heard Mort say. They were in so much shock that they didn't know what to say. How could Mort know something as grave as that? And how?

Kowalski was the one to gain his voice again. "How- How do you know that?"

"The bossy penguin said it." answered Mort as the lemur picked up another toy in his already overflowing arms.

"Skippah said that?" questioned the private. "When?"

"He passed by here?" asked Kowalski, a little too urgent than he intended.

Mort nodded. "The bossy penguin said it was _alllll _his fault and he said he had to do something."

"Something like what?" urged the analyst, hoping to get all the answers before the small lemur jumped to a different subject and then they'd never get him back on track again. "What did Skipper say, Mort?"

"He said it _has to end_." said Mort, simply.

Private gasped and looked at Kowalski desperately. "You don't think—"

"I don't know." answered Kowalski. "In the current state Skipper's in, one could never guess what actions he'd take. Skipper isn't easily analyzed."

"But you've analyzed him before, K'walski!" argued Private. "And you'd know him better than Rico or I would. Wouldn't you be able to know if he'd try to— you know! Do something like that!"

Kowalski racked his brain frantically and finally came to a conclusion even he wasn't satisfied with. "At this point in time, Skipper could have developed suicidal tendencies which he may have taken advantage of his privacy to try to enact."

"We should have followed him then! I've messed up again!" cried Private. "I was the one who suggested we leave him be and it was a wrong decision again! Skippah needs us and I chose to leave him alone!"

"You couldn't have known, Private." reassured the analyst. "None of us could have. Those who are suicidal often hide it fairly well, and in Skipper's case, well…" Kowalski sighed. "Skipper's a master of disguise and extremely cunning. He likes to hide his feelings any way he can and when he can't hide something he fakes offence and abhorrence to cover it up."

"What does that mean in English then?" asked Private.

"In plain words, Skipper's a big fat liar." Kowalski simply put it, and then the analyst added. "And his pants are metaphorically on fire."

"I didn't know Skippah wore pants…"

"Well of course you don't!" exclaimed Kowalski. "He lies about them! Obviously! Have you been paying attention at all?"

"We have to find him, K'walski! Before he hurts himself!"

"Yes, but how?" inquired the analyst. "We don't know where he went and he has a head start. The odds are completely against us! Even if we knew where he was, who's to say he didn't start already? We could already be too late! There's no way we can possibly catch up to—"

"Are you looking for the bossy penguin?" asked Mort, suddenly.

Private nodded with much vigor. "Yes Mort! Do you know where Skippah went?!"

Mort used the nickel to point in the direction the flattop penguin went.

Rico, Private, and Kowalski turned to see their habitat fishbowl left open and the lights on inside. There was also what looked to be a piece of paper taped to the open fishbowl. They realize they probably should have noticed that before.

"The HQ!" cried Kowalski. "My lab! He could be down there drinking the chemicals! Skipper's poisoned himself!" The analyst shouted in horror.

"Nuh uh!" Rico disagreed. "Wea'pn!"

"You're right, Rico." Kowalski noted. "Skipper hates science. The last thing he'd want is to die by it. He'd use the weapons in the artillery for sure."

"I thought Rico was the artillery." observed Private.

"Technically speaking, he is." agreed the analyst. "But— and forgive me for saying this Rico –but if ever Rico were to be expended, we couldn't just go around defenseless now could we? So naturally we have a backup artillery." explained Kowalski, and then a bit more sheepishly he added, "You know, just in case. Again, sorry Rico."

"Yeh, yeh…" grumbled Rico.

"My Lunacorn!" gasped Private and the other two penguins glared at him. "What? The horn is a bit on the pointy side. Skippah could poke himself with it! Oh I hope he's alright…"

"And by he, you mean Skipper, right?" asked Kowalski with an unimpressed look towards the private. "And not the Lunacorn?"

"Mm-hm." agreed Rico, putting his flippers on his hips, also staring at the private.

Private gaped at them, wondering how they could ask such a question. Of course he was talking about Skipper! "Of course I'm talking about Skippah! How could you think I meant the—" The private broke off when his eyes caught movement from behind his two higher teammates. "I don't recall lights out being so early…" he suddenly commented.

Kowalski turned to see what the private was seeing. "What are you- AH! THE HATCH IS CLOSING!" screeched the analyst and sure enough what he said was true.

The fishbowl was slowly inching its way to being locked for the night, and it wasn't even seven o'clock yet! If they didn't get in that hatch they'd be locked out all night and that would surely lessen their chances of getting to Skipper if Skipper was in the HQ. They wouldn't be able to stop him if he was sealed in.

"Hold that hatch!" ordered Kowalski, the three penguins belly sliding to their habitat as fast as they could. The analyst took charge instantly, guiding the rest of the team. "Rico! Operation: Stop and Block!"

Rico hacked up a crowbar and launched it to the closing hatch. It wedged in between the fishbowl and the opening, acting as a blockade to slow down its closing. The crowbar slowly started to slip and they knew they didn't have much time until it no longer held. In fact they only had a matter of seconds.

"Launch the private!" demanded the analyst and the order was acted out in a second.

The weapons expert grabbed the private and stood, starting to spin on his feet to gain enough momentum. He gained it and let go of the youngest penguin who yelled, sending him straight to the fishbowl.

Private's body knocked the crowbar out of the way and replaced the spot with himself. He was now the only thing in between the hatch's closing. He groaned as he pushed the bowl with his flippers and pushed against the concrete with his feet. He struggled to keep the hatch held. "Guys…" Private strained, trying to urge them to be quick. "Hurry…"

"Coming, Private! Hang on!" groaned the analyst as him and Rico stretched back on the giant rubber band tied to either light posts. They went as far back as they could before the lift off. Kowalski and Rico lifted their feet off the ground and they rocketed forward, grabbing Private before landing inside their HQ, the fishbowl slid shut behind them.


	15. Red Roses

**Authors Note: And it all goes downhill from this point on! Ahahahahaha! **

**~Natty**

* * *

The three panted as they came down from their adrenaline induced high. They caught their breaths at the bottom of the ladder where they sat resting. The HQ was dark and they could scarcely see each other which was weird. Normally it was just dim enough to see when it was lights out, now it was as if there was no power in the HQ at all.

"Rico?" asked Kowalski, starting a roll call to make sure they all made it in.

"Ah 'ere." confirmed Rico that he was present among the three penguins.

"Private?" called the analyst.

"Aye, K'walski." answered Private, who started to look around the darkness. "…K'walski?"

"Yes?"

"Why's it so dark in the HQ? It's never normally this dark at lights out."

"This isn't lights out, Private. The lockdown was done manually. The system was bypassed and the powers been intentionally shut out."

"Oo do tha'?" asked Rico.

Kowalski shook his head. "I don't know, Rico. It could be an intruder."

"An intruder?" gasped Private. "Oh dear…"

Rico picked up the abandoned crowbar next to the ladder and stood up, starting to swing it around. "No' en ma house!"

"That's the spirit, Rico!" shouted Private enthusiastically. "Let's get that no good intruder!"

Kowalski nodded. "Rico, flashlight."

"Flagh'light!" repeated Rico as he hacked one up and gave it to the analyst.

"Alright," started Kowalski, flicking the flashlight on and pointing it out in front of them. "We have the element of surprise on our side. Whoever it is probably has no idea we're down here. They think they're all alone and safe since the entire HQ is locked down tight, but we have to be quiet because they also have an advantage over us. In fact they have three," explained the analyst. "One, we don't know where in the HQ this intruder is. And two, we don't have Skipper here to guide us."

"Oh dear, Skippah!" cried the private, suddenly remembering their leader. "We forgot all about him! We can't go after bad guys when Skippah needs our help! I won't do anything until I know he's safe!"

"We don't have a choice!" snapped Kowalski. "Even if we wanted to, we couldn't get out of here. The entire place is sealed shut! We at least have to bypass the bypass system and regain control of our HQ."

"But Skippah—"

"-would want us to do this." The analyst interrupted. "Someone's hacked our system! Which means someone now has control over our entire base! Our weaponry, our files, our personal belongings, everything! Whoever did this could be looking for something to enact an evil scheme. The universe could be at stake here! Like I said, we don't have a choice! It's our job to ensure safety and Skipper's told us before that we do it with him or without, no matter what."

"You're wrong." glared Private. "Because that's only in case S.K.I.A is called."

"Ah, yes," Kowalski sighed. "_That_ protocol."

"And it hasn't been called!" Private exclaimed. "So I don't have to listen to you, K'walski!"

"Skiaa? Wha' tha'?" asked Rico.

"Protocol S.K.I.A is a protocol that can be called by any one of us." explained Kowalski. "This is already special in its own considering normally only the one in charge is allowed to give the orders, this being Skipper or myself mainly, me being second in command-" the analyst saw the looks he was receiving. "What? It's the truth! And am I not allowed to say my own rank every once in a while? We say Private's all the time! It's in his name for Newton's nickers sake! We can't _all _have cool military names like Skipper and Private do!"

Private stared back at the scientist unimpressed. "I'm still not listening to you, you know."

"Uh, 'Walski?" called Rico. "Skiaa?"

"Right, the protocol." nodded the analyst, getting back to what he was saying before. "It is an order that can be given by any of us at any given time when Skipper's not around. S-K.-I-A," spelled the analyst "'Skippered In Action'."

Rico gasped loudly and exaggerated. "Nah-uh!" He refused.

"You're right, I was lying." said Kowalski. "The real acronym is 'Skipper Killed In Action', but Skipper thought his name was better than mine. So by order, I have to say his name for it first before I say mine, which I did. But from here on out we call it by my name, mine! Alright? Skipper can't get to name_ everything_!"

"He named _me_." chirped Private, smiling at the thought.

"Always…gets…the….good…names!" groaned Kowalski, hitting his head on the side of the ladder. "Always…gets…the…good-" the analyst stopped banging his head and looked up suddenly. He pointed behind Rico and Private. "Do you two see that light too or has Skipper been right all along and I've finally really lost it?"

Private turned to the crack of light coming from inside the lab. "No, I see the light too."

"Cuckoo?" asked Rico, twirling his flipper next to his head.

"No Rico, we haven't all lost it. There really is light coming from K'walski's lab." said Private.

"There shouldn't be," observed Kowalski, rubbing his head from his assault to it. "There shouldn't be any lights anywhere if the HQ's been shut down."

"Maybe we should have you know, hired a real electrician." suggested Private.

Kowalski scowled. "I did a _good job_ wiring the zoo's electrical energy to give us power down here. Any moron with wires can spark electricity!"

"_Exactly_." Private whispered to Rico who laughed.

"I heard that!" glared the analyst. Kowalski's glare then softened as he focused on something else. "I….also hear voices." blinked Kowalski.

"Ah hea' i' too'." agreed Rico.

"It's coming from the lab!" pointed the private.

Kowalski tiptoed towards the door and motioned for the others to follow him and stay quiet. The three penguins made their way towards the lab, Private was nervous and Rico held the crowbar back behind his head as if he were up for bat in a game.

The analyst put his flipper in the crack of the open door, easing it open and he winced when it squeaked. No one noticed this he assumed because there wasn't a disturbance in the lab. The voice still went on, low and hushed. Kowalski pushed against the door again, this time so the three of them could peak their heads through. When they did, the three subordinate penguins froze and some held their gasps. All except Private.

"Skippah?" whispered Private. Kowalski and Rico shushed him, Kowalski by actually shushing him and Rico by smacking him in the back of the head. When Private rubbed the back of his head and they were sure he'd be quiet, they turned back around to watch the pacing figure in the lab.

There was their leader, pacing about the floor with a phone in his flipper, Kowalski's smartphone to be exact. Skipper talked harshly and urgently into the phone. He turned around finally and they were able to hear in on the conversation, although one sided since they could only hear their leader's voice. His team heard him as clear as day but were unable to understand what he was saying. This language was far from English.

"... Jeg er ligeglad ... nej ... Penge er ikke et problem ... okay ... Jeg har brug for roser ... røde." Skipper said into the phone. There was a silence and he sighed. "Nej .. Jeg har aldrig vidste hans familie ..."

"I didn't know Skippah spoke Danish…" said Private aloud before he could be stopped.

Skipper looked up surprised to see them standing in the doorway. He brought the phone closer to him and turned away from them so he wouldn't be heard. The leader muttered quietly into his phone what sounded like a goodbye. "Vi vil diskutere dette senere ...I have to go…" He then hung up with a tired sigh and turned back to face his boys.

The two taller penguins in the doorway glared down at the private. Rico lifted his hand to smack Private when the leader held up a flipper to stop the discipline.

"No need for that." Skipper reassured and watched the manic penguin slowly drop his flipper to the side.

Kowalski started. "Skipper we didn't mean to eavesdrop on your conversation we just wanted to make sure that you were-"

"At ease, soldier. I'm fine as you can see." The leader dismissed the analyst's urgent tone. He himself was completely calm, which shocked the team.

"Who wuzzat?" asked Rico with a shrug. "Yow! 'Walski!" He glared as the analyst elbowed him in the stomach.

"No need for that either, Kowalski." said Skipper.

"Right," Kowalski nodded like he forgot and couldn't help his eyes from trailing around his lab. It was then that he realized how tampered his lab was, and that his phone the leader was using was attached to some kind of makeshift poorly made machine. "You made a generator, Skipper?"

Skipper looked down at the hastily made machine by his feet. "Oh yeah, it was just something I threw together quick. Hope you don't mind, I used some of your equipment to make it. Finished with it now, you can go ahead and take it apart. I had to make a call and it was kind of long distanced and you know roaming charges and all…"

"It's…fine, Skipper." stuttered Kowalski in shock. "It's just- How'd you make this?"

Skipper blinked and waved his flipper at the cluttered lab table. "Just threw a bunch of scraps together, nothing too extravagant. Why?"

"This is amazing…" Kowalski said as he picked up the machine, turning it every which way to see its craftsmanship. "I've never seen anything like this before…you made this?"

"Yeah…" answered Skipper, casually. "I just used it to reroute all the power in the HQ to the lab and then to the phone. What's the big deal? You make stuff all the time. Why's it suddenly a problem when I make one little thing?"

"Why, there's no problem at all, Skipper! I'm just surprised, that's all." admitted the analyst.

"Surprised?" questioned the leader.

"Well _yeah_, you invented something!"

Skipper shook his head. "So?"

Kowalski saw that the leader was getting agitated with every response he gave so he backed off a little bit. "So…" eased the analyst. "I never knew you…_knew how_…"

"Kowalski, I'm a trained military commander." Skipper sighed. "You think I'm unable to get things for myself when I need them?"

"I guess not, no…" Kowalski looked down as the leader took the generator from him and set it down on the lab floor beside them.

"It's just a basic generator." shrugged Skipper. "I know a lot of animals that can make them." The leader started a list. "The Red Squirrel, Buck Rockgut in all his craziness, Blowhole, Manfredi, Nigel probably, maybe that Hen, Kowalski could if he put his mind to it, and one more person..."

"Who?" asked Private.

Skipper sighed and shook his head. "It's not important, but I still know a lot of animals who can make one." The leader walked around the lab table to pick up some of the mess. "So I know how to make a fully functioning generator," Skipper shrugged. "Doesn't make a difference."

"Alright then, I guess you're right Skippah." shrugged Private.

"_Thank _you." nodded Skipper in gratification, going back to putting more clutter away.

"Are…are you alright?" asked Private after a few hesitant seconds.

"I am…and, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about this whole week. I've just been thinking about things."

"Things, Skipper?" Kowalski inquired, looking at the leader with a raised brow. He too started picking up some things, not really cleaning but just to fill the room with some kind of life or movement to ease things up a bit.

Skipper paused in his cleaning and scoffed, "Stupid things," muttered the leader, picking up a spare screw. "It doesn't really matter."

"It could…" urged Private. The cadet didn't want feelings to be withheld among them anymore. It was easier if everyone knew everything, at least most things about each other. Minds are had for a reason, says Princess Self-Respectra, to be spoken.

"And sorry for locking you guys out of the HQ. I had to in case there was an attack, our place couldn't be vulnerable, not even for a second. There are villains dying out there to take a peak in our business, it only takes one slip up for anyone's ultimate downfall. And I'm not taking you boys with me if I ever go down. You'll all fight on, I believe I've trained you well enough. If I haven't, I apologize. I've been screwing things up lately, don't want you boys to be one of those aforementioned things."

"Everything's fine now," Private nodded, trying to reassure their leader he was wrong. Everything was normal, wasn't it? "K'walski quieted Julien, didn't you K'walski?"

Kowalski grew a glared that jabbed at the young private, but answered as normal as he could without arising suspicion of a different outcome. "Yes, indeed I did."

"Oh right, Ringtail." Skipper remembered the lemur king. "You know I didn't intentionally mean to hurt him? It…was an accident."

"Of course, Skippah. We know you'd never hurt anyone on purpose."

Skipper felt the irony of that last statement hit him and make him feel a twanging pressure in his chest. He closed his eyes and caught himself before he broke. "I wouldn't…" The leader tried to convince himself, not the team. _He should have died, _he thought,_ it should have been him. He was the one who deserved this. All Hans ever did was try to protect him. That's all he ever __**did**__._

"And we know you wouldn't, and we told Julien that. Everything is clear as if it never happened, Skipper." Kowalski told him, sure as anything. The analyst really thought he was the least bit convincing. It made the leader want to smile at the goodness his team tried to spread to him.

They didn't know that their pleads to satisfy him fell on deaf ears. In this case it'd be holes, but Hans was already in one. He was in one the moment they met. Skipper was deep, and Hans had gotten in far too much to get out. But not once did the puffin try to crawl out, and the penguin made sure he'd return that favor to the grave. He just didn't know if he'd be in one himself by the end of the week.


	16. Innocent Voices

**Author's Note: You guy's dropping review count is starting to frighten me...**

**~Natty, SkansHans**

* * *

Couldn't they see that nothing they were trying to say or reassure him of was working?

Although he'd never blame them. He was always damn good at hiding things. He loved to hide things. It made everything more interesting and dangerous in the end. Everything was dangerous, his whole life taught him that. He was grade A paranoid, he'd believe that the whole universe was after him, if it weren't already true.

He could read everyone around him like a book, one far below his grade level. Kowalski was about to barge down here and make him spill his guts about what everything's all about, Rico and Private were terrified of doing just that, and even the analyst seemed to be debating on whether to go through with said plan or not. Private is confused and just wants the whole matter to be magically cleared up, Rico is concerned and does want everything back to normal as well but the maniac's mind really didn't go any deeper than that.

The leader could never read Hans though, and he thought he knew why. The puffin had unpredictability about him, spontaneous split second decisions that seem ridiculous and rushed but actually have been thought out for years in the puffin's mind. That mind, Skipper admitted it always amazed him and he hated most thoughts that came out of it. Which was because he could never see logic in the Dane's reasoning, he'd think he'd know why but he gave up a long time ago in trying to understand the puffin. He let things happen and he has his regrets. He should have killed Hans thoughts before anyone else did. At least the puffin would still be alive one way or another. Or would he?

The puffin could have been destined to die and he would never know. He'd never know anything if he just sat here, that's why he wasn't going to take this anymore. He would fight it, everything that came at him. He promised Hans that once, that he'd never let go. He remembered Hans said all the things he couldn't bring himself to, and so effortlessly without a care. The Dane spoke like everything was so natural, just so freely; _"I never forget past. We were so much fun~! Don't you think so too?" _

Kowalski's talking to him, he notices as the voice drags him hazily out of his daydream. One where he's wrapped in strong feathers and he can almost feel the wingtips stroking against his sides.

Skipper was sure now that none of them were going to confront him. His team was talking in front of him as they all helped clean up the lab. He'd been finished his part and was now disassembling the generator.

The other three penguins had started some conversation. He'd fallen silent a while ago, but still giving the occasional nod or roll of the eyes when necessary. He stopped and watched them interact. If they were pretending to be normal around him then they were doing a good job. They actually looked like they were carrying on life as normal. Then he realized that they really were. Life was going on even when he wasn't particularly fond of it at the moment. He was forever separated from the inexhaustible variety of life. The fire he'd burnt with Hans canceled out all else. He'd felt alive, with every word and touch the Dane gave him. He could never feel that again now. It was him who broke off in the first place but he always intended to go back to the Dane. That possibility was ripped from him and he felt numb from it. It sent icebergs into his body, making his body chill and his thoughts harden. As opposed to that fire he once felt, which had been extinguished for him. By _someone else_ that could never understand.

His name was being called, his brain alerted him. The leader turned sharply to his boys. He wasn't aware that he hadn't been facing them in the first place.

"What Private? I thought we were cleaning." said Skipper automatically.

"We finished, Skippah." Private informed him and he looked and low and behold they did. The lab was clean again, or at least much cleaner than it was. He didn't remember putting away all this stuff, he was too caught up, in the past that is. _Never forget._

"We did?" Skipper asked blankly.

Private laughed. "Yes, Skippah. All clean now. Would you like me to make you some coffee? You haven't had any for a while now."

Huh, he guess he hadn't. That was odd, normally he could never go a day without the stuff. It was like a wacked out addiction, a habit he couldn't break. Coffee, he did love coffee. But he didn't have time for such luxuries right now. The last thing he needed was for himself to relax. If he relaxed then he thought logically, something he couldn't afford to do. So he declined the offer given to him.

"Thanks but no, I may be a little off right now but I'm pretty sure it's late at night." The leader said and nodded over to his lieutenant. "Kowalski?"

"Indeed, Skipper." Kowalski replied, looking out the underwater window of their habitat. "The moon has successfully taken its place replacing the sun for the next 12 hours. The sun is set to be out again at 0500 hours."

"Then I guess it's time for some shuteye, boys. Lights out." ordered the leader.

"Aye, Skippah." saluted the private and the three lesser penguins headed single file to the lab door. They stopped as soon as they got there, concerned and looking back. "Aren't you coming, Skippah?"

"Hm? Oh... yeah, I am. Uh…Kowalski, I need to use your phone for a quick online recon check if that's okay."

"Of course, Skipper." Kowalski nodded and pointed behind the leader. "It's right there on the table whenever you need it."

"Thanks." Skipper nodded and picked it up, unlocking it with a side swipe and starting to focus on the screen. The illumination from the screen lit up his face in the slight dark. "I'll be out in five, you three get ready for bed…" The leader's voice trailed as he turned around to sit at the table, more focused on the phone. "…Order…now…" the leader mumbled.

Private, Rico, and Kowalski walked out of the lab and to the other room of their HQ. Once they got there, Rico laid down propped up on his flipper in his bunk watching the other two team members.

Kowalski was over by the main controls, successfully routing the power back to the whole HQ. The lights turned on easily but he stayed on the computer to make sure nothing was damaged. Nothing against his leader, but the analyst didn't exactly trust him with any wiring of any kind. This wasn't an act of mutiny, he just didn't want to wake up (or not wake up) to a fire. So he checked over the circuit boards and then did some calculations on just how much Skipper's outgoing call was costing the zoo. Then he whistled at his math. Alice would be none too happy about _that _number.

Private sat up in his bunk, watching the analyst work. He looked not at all impressed. In fact, the cadet looked mildly disappointed. The private crossed his flippers, glaring down at Kowalski.

"That sure was quite an intervention, K'walski." Private said sarcastically.

Kowalski clicked his beak in irritation and spun around to the bunks, glaring back just as equally. "It wasn't the right time, okay? We should do it at the right time so we can get better results from Skipper."

"Yeah right, _you_ chickened out." teased Private.

"No I didn't." Kowalski defended. "Skipper is calm right now, acting normal. Do you want to ruin that for him? If you do then by all means Private I will go in that lab and confront Skipper right now."

"You call that _normal_?" Private asked incredulously. "Since when does Skippah build anything?"

"Well-" Kowalski saw the looks of his teammates and sighed in defeat. "Never. Skipper has never been one to build things." He admitted.

"Not 'Walski." Rico agreed. Skipper never took any interest in whatever Kowalski did. The leader was really more interested in destroying the analyst's inventions than using them in the first place.

"In fact, Skipper's more destructive than inventive." Kowalski said. "It's a scientific _fact_."

"And he's only ever excited about one of your inventions because he knows he's going to get to destroy it after it fails." Private told them.

"Yep." Rico nodded in agreement.

Kowalski sighed. "You're ri- _wait a minute! _What do you mean ever only after it fails? My inventions don't always go wrong!"

"Name one then." Private challenged.

"Well the-" Kowalski stopped and thought. "That one didn't-…" He stopped again. "What about the-…" The analyst scowled and his frown deepened. "THAT'S NOT FAIR! Just because I can't think of one at the moment _doesn't mean_ there wasn't one that didn't fail because I know for a_ fact_ that a reasonable percentage didn't! A very reasonable percentage, F.Y.I!"

Private nodded with a smile. "It's alright K'walski, I know that not _all_ of your inventions fail."

"_Thank _you." nodded the analyst.

"Who was Skippah calling do you think?" asked Private.

Kowalski blinked. "I don't know…but I could track it if I wanted to."

Private nodded that he wanted to do it. "Could you?"

"It'd be an invasion of Skipper's privacy and trust in us." admitted the analyst. "It would borderline resemble mutiny…" Kowalski looked up with a smirk. "We'd have to do it after he falls asleep."

"Okay." shrugged Private. "Tonight then?"

"Tonight." nodded Kowalski, hopping up into his bunk just as their leader walked in.

"Goodnight, boys." Skipper said as he laid down in his own bunk.

But the team didn't sleep, not one of them; not even Skipper. One thing was on all of their minds: Answers, and they'd all get them tonight in ways they never would have expected to.


	17. Call At Night

"_Psst! Psst…! K'walski!"_ Private whispered up to the above bunk.

"_What?"_ Kowalski harshly whispered back.

"_Are you asleep?"_

"_Not anymore…"_

"_Oh, sorry K'walski."_

"_It's fine…what is it?"_

"_Is Skippah asleep yet?"_

"_I don't know, why don't you check?"_

"_Could you do it?" _Private begged.

Kowalski sighed. _"No. What if I go to check if he's asleep and then wake him up in the process? I told you I'd wake you when it was time."_

"_But you were sleeping."_

The analyst was starting to get annoyed now. _"And? Your point?"_

"_What if you don't wake me up?"_

"_I already told you that I will. Go back to sleep."_

"_But if you're asleep how are you going to-"_

"_**Goodnight **__Private." _Kowalski told the young penguin and rolled over in his bunk so he faced the wall. He'd just closed his eyes when they shot open at another disturbance.

"_Psst! Rico!" _Private whispered up to the bunk above him and Kowalski's.

Kowalski shot up in his bed and leaned over the edge to glare down at Private. _"What are you doing? Don't wake-!"_

Rico groaned and it was too late. The weapon's expert was already awake and looking around. _"Wha?"_ he grumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Kowalski sighed and finished his before statement in annoyance. "…Rico."

"'_Walski! Yabugabahda!"_ Rico complained.

"_I didn't wake you up!"_ Kowalski argued in a harsh whisper. _"It was Private!"_

"_Oh,"_ Rico said and then, _"Pri'et! __Yabugabahda!__"_

"_Could you check if Skippah's awake?" _Private asked.

"_Yeh, okay."_ Rico nodded and cleared his throat. "EY 'KIPPER OO WAKE?"

"_Shhhh! Rico!"_ Kowalski half yelled and half whispered. _"You'll wake Ski-"_

Skipper began to stir. "Hm? What's happening?" The leader mumbled, lifting his head.

"…Skipper." Kowalski finished with a sigh.

"Kowalski? What happened?" Skipper asked, sitting up in his bunk. "Analysis?"

"Uh…it appears that…um…" Kowalski thought and thought until something came to mind. He shrugged. "Private had a nightmare and woke us all up. Nothing urgent, Skipper. You can go back to bed."

Skipper seemed to ignore the analyst, too tired to respond to him. The leader got up out of his bunk and climbed up the ladder to the private's bunk where he sat next to the youngest penguin. Private blinked at his leader's appearance. There was nothing really wrong; it's just that the leader looked disheveled. His feathers were ruffled and there were restless creases under his eyes. The small penguin's never seen the elder look like this before.

"Private, what's wrong? Bad dream?"

Private hated to lie and he was going to get Kowalski later on for making him have to. "Y-yes, Skippah. I'm sorry for waking you. You don't look too good, Skippah. Y-you should go back to bed, you need your rest."

"Whatever your dream was about it doesn't matter because you won."

"I…won, Skippah?" Private asked. "What do you mean by that?"

Skipper smirked. "You woke up, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Well you won because it couldn't keep you trapped. Good job, soldier. I'm proud of you."

Private didn't know what to say. "Th-thank you, sir."

Skipper nodded and started back down to his own bunk.

"Skippah?"

"Yeah?"

"You're very smart, Skippah. I want to be just like you." Private smiled and threw his flippers around the leader in a hug. The leader was surprised at first but slowly returned the embrace.

Skipper sighed and pulled back, watching the small penguin stare at him in question. "Private… I'm not-"

…_Vrbbbb! …Vrbbbb! …Vrbbbb! _

Skipper winced at the sudden sound of vibration that pierced the HQ silence. His eyes were wide and by the look on his face and based on how he looked down to the source, Private could easily tell that the leader knew of the sound.

"What's that, Skippah?" Private asked and had to peer over the side of his bunk because his leader had already jumped down to go see about it.

Skipper unlocked the smartphone, looking at its contents with shock. Well he'll be damned. It was actually happening and he couldn't believe it actually worked. The leader narrowed his eyes at the screen in hatred. _It actually worked_, he thought again; this time in irritation.

"Is everything alright, Skipper?" Kowalski asked and the leader looked up seeing three sets of eyes on him from up in the bunks.

"Fine." Skipper nodded, placing the phone under his pillow. "Just a stupid IOS update. Hate those things, they really know how to cross me." The leader gave some truth in his lies. That stupid_ thing_ really did cross him…

"Oh, well you better hand it here." Kowalski said, having already gotten down from his bunk and was reaching for the phone. "I should really update the software anyway. I skipped the last one since the rumor online was that it was slow for-"

"NO!" Skipper yelled and slapped the analyst's hands away from his pillow. Then slapped the analyst himself. "No techy-tech stuff for you! You're still on punishment, mister! Or have you forgotten that?"

"But Skipper-"

"No '_but Skipper's'_! There are no secrets or conspiracies held without the captain's knowledge!"

"It wasn't a conspiracy!" Kowalski defended. "I just wanted Private not bug you!"

"Private never bugs me." Skipper argued.

Kowalski stared flabbergasted. "_Yes_ he does! He bugs you all the time with his sense of kindness and common decency! Plus, you think his accent is fake!"

"Kowalski, there's no need to be _jealous _of the private just because he hasn't _seen _as many _horrible things_ in the world as you have or because he can _fake an accent_ better than you can." Skipper rolled his eyes. "Your Red Squirrel impression is spot on. You should be proud of that." The leader pat the analyst on the back, tucking the phone in deeper under his pillow.

Kowalski shook his head, trying to make sense of things. He couldn't so he stayed silent. The analyst knew when to accept punishment; he always did anyway because whenever he'd begin to argue it he'd always analyze that percentage possibility that he was wrong. Then he'd overly think on that percentage until it grew and he no longer knew if he was wrong or right in the first place. And no one won in an argument against Skipper. That was a simple fact in itself. "You're right, I am sorry for my behavior, sir." He said and looked down at the ground.

Private frowned and spoke up. "Um, Skippah? Would it be alright if I took half of K'walski's punishment then? I feel I am just to blame as he is."

"Private, that is very noble of you." Skipper said.

"It is?" Private asked.

"Yeah, and since you have so much common decency, why don't you spread some around? All three of you can share Kowalski's punishment." smiled Skipper.

"YABNAGHAMA!" Rico complained loudly. "BU' 'KIPPER-!"

"Now Rico, this is a team building exercise." stated the leader. "One must learn to take one for the team. This is about…_sacrifice_…" Skipper told them, his own feelings getting the better of him and making him pause at the word. "About…being able to take pain for someone else…whether it be mental or…" A chill went up Skipper's spine and he had to turn away before anyone could see his wet eyes. "…_physical endurance_ to save someone else you care about..."

"Skipper?" Kowalski took a step toward the leader, hearing the barely noticeable hiccup in his voice.

"…I want you three to know that everything I do, I always try to do the best thing for you boys. You guys mean a lot to me and I'd really do anything for you, anything, even if you never understand. I just want you to _know_ that I-" A fin on his shoulder stopped him from going any further. Skipper felt Kowalski's flipper squeeze his shoulder lightly and the leader nodded. "Goodnight."

The bunks were filled again with the four teammates weary bodies. Rico fell asleep quickly and was already snoring by the time everyone was resettled. Skipper lay wide awake facing the wall, thinking over what exactly he was about to do.

Private quietly whispered up to Kowalski's bunk to ask the analyst a question on his mind. _"Why'd you make him stop, K'walski?"_

_"Because…"_ Kowalski started, glancing down at Skipper's bunk, the leader's back to them. The analyst watched their leader's restless breathing and sighed. _"There was nothing more that needed to be said."_


	18. Call Answered

**Authors Note: At last! The beginning of the smack you guys in the face-ness chapters! Ah ha ha!**

* * *

"_Psst! Wake up K'walski! …K'walski!" _Private shook Kowalski by the side.

"…This better be life or death or it soon will be, Private…" mumbled the half asleep analyst.

"_Shhh! K'walski, please be quiet, it's important-" _Private stopped whispering and blinked into the bunk. "You have a stuffed dolphin toy?"

"Urgh!" Kowalski stuffed the doll under his pillow and angrily rolled over. "Private, I thought I told you-!"

"Skippah's gone!"

"Gone? …Agh!" Kowalski sat up quickly, forgetting about his limited bunk space and hit his head hard on the concrete over his bed space. He rubbed his head. "What? What do you mean gone? What are you talking about?"

"He's not in his bunk, K'walski!" Private exclaimed, panicked and pointing down to the leader's bed space. It was vacated and empty, the pillow hanging over the side like the leader was in a rush.

The analyst was already jumping out of his own bunk, landing on the floor and running over to Skipper's bottom bunk. Private was right, it was empty and Skipper as nowhere to be found. "That doesn't make any sense…" Kowalski shook his head, lifting the forgotten pillow as if the leader could have been under it hiding from them. "Where would he…?" The analyst groaned. "Ugh, Skipper…this is just like you to pull something like this…" muttered Kowalski. "Run off and leave us here worried sick until you-"

"K'walski…" Private whimpered at the analyst.

Kowalski nodded and instructed the young penguin who desperately wanted to be instructed by someone. "Wake Rico."

Private nodded and went to go see to it.

The analyst sighed. It looked like he'd have to step up again because these two were lost without a leader. Damnit, where was Skipper?

"Rico…get up, Rico!" Private called, shaking the penguin awake.

"Nuh uh!" The weapon's expert groaned, grumbling and trying to push the private away. "Go 'way!"

Kowalski sighed and went over to nudge the penguin too. "Come on Rico, wake up, it's important."

Upon hearing the analyst's voice, Rico lifted his head from where he was laying on his stomach. His pillow which was over his head, tumbled off his beak and flopped down on the concrete bunk. He placed a flipper over it, blinking. "Wazzup?"

"Oh Rico, it's terrible!" Private exclaimed. "Skippah's go-"

Kowalski shoved his flipper in the private's beak and cleared his throat, beginning where Private started except more calmly and not as panicked. "Look Rico, we'd love to lie to you right now and pretend everything is just dandy but we can't. Believe me, the last thing in this universe I'd want to do is upset you. That's the last thing anyone with an IQ of at least 40 would want to do, but here's the bottom line-"

"SKIPPAH'S GONE!" cried Private.

"WHA'?!" Rico shouted.

Kowalski sighed and glared. "Thank you Private, I was _leading up_ to that…"

Rico grabbed the analyst by the sides, hoisting him up in the air and shaking him. "'WALSKI! WEA 'KIPPER!?"

"I don't know! Private was the one who informed me of his being missing!" The analyst answered and was let loose immediately after. That is, until Rico did the same with Private.

"PRI'ET! WEA 'KIPPER!?" Rico shook the young penguin in front of him.

Private gasped. "I don't know, Rico!" The young penguin was dropped harshly to the ground and watched the weapon's expert start to freak out, running around the HQ in panic looking for their leader under just about anything.

The private and the analyst had to duck occasionally as multiple items flew over their heads, including Kowalski's clipboard which he grabbed as it almost flew over his head. The analyst started drawing on it, marking details down on the paper. While he did this, Private was trying to calm the weapon's expert out of his alarm.

"Calm down, Rico! I'm sure he's alright!" Private said and looked down. "At least I hope so…Who knows where he's got himself off to? What if he never comes back? What if he does…but in a bag?!" The private exclaimed. "What if-!"

"We aren't going to stick around for any what if's." The analyst said, eyes narrowed in determination.

"We aren't?" Private asked.

"Skipper's pillow is still warm so he mustn't have gotten far, and he took my smartphone which I have expertly placed a tracking device." Kowalski pulled out a tracker he made out of an old sardine-tin, what looked to be a small satellite was attached on top of it. A small dull ping came from it every once in a while before it started pinging wildly and fast. "I've found him!"

"You have?" exclaimed Private, excitedly. "Where is he?"

The analyst blinked. "Well that's strange; it says here he's directly above our heads."

"Perhaps he went out for some air and we're all just overreacting?" The private supposed.

Kowalski shook his head, seeing something suspicious about this whole thing. "Come on!" The analyst told them and started up the ladder. He scoffed to himself. They never _overreacted_ to anything! In his eyes they reacted to every situation with precision and accuracy. Private nodded and began following the analyst up the ladder followed by a now calming down Rico. The analyst slid open the hatch and climbed out. The tracker started to beep even louder than before, directing behind them. Kowalski turned around, squinting as he saw a familiar shadow dash off in the night.

"Skipper! Wait!" The analyst shouted after the leader but the penguin didn't stop running. Kowalski hopped their habitat and ran after him.

"Skippah?" Private huffed, climbing over the wall and he landed on the ground backwards. The small penguin got to his feet and started running after his two superiors. "Where's he going? Come on, Rico!"

"'kipper!" The weapons expert called.

The analyst ran but Skipper was much too quick, jumping over obstacles and making sharp turns. They were going to lose him in the chase if they didn't do something soon.

"Rico! Grappling plunger!" Kowalski demanded, gasping.

Rico regurgitated a blue colored gun with a toilet plunger penetrating out of it. The gun landed in the analyst's flippers and he aimed, taking fire at Skipper. He missed the leader by mere inches. Skipper squeezed out of the zoo gates, running out and disappearing into the park. The three remaining commandos skidded to a stop at the front gates of the zoo, panting and in astonishment.

Private panted and then out of breath he looked up at the rest of his team. "Did you get him?"

The analyst shot him a hard glare.

"What?" Private blinked. "What are you staring at me for?"

Rico frowned sadly staring at the ground. The weapon's expert grumbled in regret. "No 'kipper…"

"We aren't giving up that easily…" Kowalski mumbled. "Let's go!" The analyst stalked over to the zoo gates.

"Where are we going?" Private asked. "We'll never be able to catch up to Skippah now! If you wanted to do that, you shouldn't have stopped running! We could have caught him!"

"Yeh!" agreed Rico impatiently. "Cech 'kipper!"

"We don't want to catch him." The analyst said.

"Yes we do, K'walski! We do want Skippah back!" Private argued. "I never would have guessed that you didn't!" The young penguin saw on the analyst's face that that struck a nerve somewhere down inside, but Private didn't care. He just wanted Skipper back, safe and sound with them. Why would their leader run away from them?

"No, we don't want to catch him." Kowalski repeated, shaking his head and the analyst looked like he was on to something. "We want him back, completely back to normal and we need answers if we're ever going to bring Skipper back. We still have the tracker and it says he's still on the move. All we have to do is wait until he gets to wherever he's going and follow him. We get answers and Skipper gets to do what he wants. This is what we call a 50/50 _win_ situation." The analyst put quotations around the 'hip' and in style word.

Private nodded. "So this'll make Skippah happy then?"

"Well…" Kowalski shifted his weight in doubt. "Like I previously stated, we _are _still speaking 50/50 here. So I'm going to go with a big _maybe_."

"Those are good numbers, I think…" The private shrugged, not really knowing math all that well. "So do we start following him now? We wouldn't want Skippah to get too far away from us."

Kowalski nodded and proceeded to look down at the tracker. "Found him, again. He's in the woods on the outskirts of the park, not too far from here. So let's-"

Private started giggling like a little school girl, trying to stifle his squeals with both his flippers.

The analyst sighed, already knowing what was wanted from the small penguin. "Fine, you can say it but after you do we're leaving."

"Yaaay!" Private squee'd and started hopping in excitement.

Rico and Kowalski exchanged annoyed glances, both elders rolling their eyes. It took a special kind of patience to deal with this kid and the two penguins had to hand it to their leader. How he dealt with Private's naïve nature was beyond them. With Skipper's attitude you would think he'd have a shorter tolerance level for things like this.

"Ou boy." Rico shook his head in disappointment.

"Any day now, Private." The analyst scowled.

Private stopped his jig and coughed away the awkwardness. "Right, well…Let's roll! …then. I suppose…"

Kowalski rolled his eyes and scoffed mockingly. "Couldn't have said it better myself…"

"Booo!" Rico booed with what was supposed to be a thumbs-down with his flipper.

The analyst picked the chain lock on the Central Park Zoo gates and slipped through the opening, starting to lead them to the park.

The private frowned as him and his team started off for the woods behind the park. "I thought I did quite well even if I have to say so myself…"

Kowalski nodded. "Believe me, you _do_ have to."

"No' a gudd m'pression." Rico shook his head.

"Hmph!" Private scowled. "Well I'd never!"

The three penguins continued walking on into the park for a few long silent moments before,

"'_Walski! Options!" _

"Oh don't you start too!" glared the analyst.


	19. Plus King Julien

**Authors Note: Please excuse the amount of lemur in the next group of chapters…hehe…**

**And 83 reviews! OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU WONDERFUL HIPPIES, YOU! **

**Shout out to mah buddy hmbird11! My birdy feather fish! :D **

**~Natty**

* * *

**Lemur Habitat.**

King Julien twisted and turned on his bouncy. He turned right, then he twisted left, then back to right, left, upside down, sideways, headstand, pretzel, circle, square, rhombus, until finally…

"UGH! I AM NOT BEING ABLE TO COUNT DE ROYAL Z'S!" The lemur sat up abruptly, shouting.

Maurice yawned and sat up on the end of the bouncy. The aye-aye knew better than to sleep close to the king. He didn't want to get caught up in another forced royal cuddle session. He cringed just thinking about one of _those._ The royal adviser sighed, looking over to the self-proclaimed lemur king. He was uninterested of course, but he had come to face the most horrible fact that this was his job and this would be his job until Julien died. He knows what you're thinking, you thought he was going to say until he himself died right? Well you obviously don't know him very well baby.

Maurice sighed, being obligated to ask what was wrong with the king. "What is it Julien?"

"I cannot count de royal z's! You must count upon dem for me!"

"Alright fine, what number did you stop on?"

Julien blinked, not being able to come up with an answer but Maurice already knew.

"You forgot, didn't you?" The aye-aye asked, expecting such.

Julien nodded with a sheepish grin, shrugging his shoulders.

Maurice sucked in his breath before starting his count. "Me-one, Me-two, Me-three, Me-four, Me-five, Me-six…"

At this point, the lemur king was on his stomach with his chin rested on his hands eagerly listening to the numbers being listed. Julien's feet swung back and forth in the air behind him. "Keep going!" urged King Julien. "De me's are getting higher!"

Maurice grumbled under his breath. "I hate my life…" and continued counting. "…Me-seven, Me-eight, Me-nine, Me-ten, Me-twelve, Me-thirteen…"

All the counting and cheers from King Julien succeeded in waking up Mort who was curled up on the corner of the bouncy. Mort slowly opened his big eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. The mouse-lemur immediately spotted the king's swaying feet. They teased him, egging him on to just run and grab them.

"Good morning King Julien!" Mort greeted. "And good morning to your feet tooo!"

"Mort, shut up! I cannot hear Maurice count de royal me's! And it is night, you stupid! How dare you not know when de sky spirits shut out de sun and leave out de moon!"

Mort blinked and tried again. "Goodnight, King Julien?"

"Hm. Much better. Now shut up so I can be hearing!"

"Okay! Can I hear too?"

"Shut up! Okay?"

"Okay!" Mort agreed and sat down next to the two elder lemurs.

"Whatever." Maurice shrugged and went on. "…Me-fourteen, Me-fifteen, Me-sixteen, Me-seventeen-"

"Wait! Stop!" King Julien ordered suddenly with slow anger forming inside his kingly head.

"What's wrong?" Maurice asked him.

"I have just unpacked some logic in my kingly brain!" Julien announced; his mind literally unpacking clothes in his thoughts. "Since you are counting the royal you's instead of de royal me's, dat means you are really counting de royal YOU'S instead of de royal ME'S! How can you sit there and COUNT de YOU'S and not de ME'S!"

"W-what?" Maurice stuttered, panicked. "I didn't mean to count the royal me's, your majesty! I was just trying to count the royal you's that's all!"

"So you admit upon it!"

"Well- yes!" the aye-aye admitted, confused and still mixed up on who's who the king was talking about. Me's, you's? Which me's were King Julien's and which were his? And did Mort have any me's? He was sure all the me's belonged to Julien. Okay now his head was starting to hurt…

"I am disappointed in you, Maurice. You know dat in dis kingdom the only me's you count are mine! And nobody else's! You are hereby on punishment! And no there are no butt's! No stinky-ness for my ears to eat up at what pleadings come out of your mouth because I am not hearing dem!" scolded King Julien. "Now I must be thinking of a punishment suitable enough to please de royal me…" the king tapped his chin, sitting crisscross on the inflatable toy. "Eh, I know! I have unpacked another thing from my royal mind!" Julien bounced himself up on his feet and began lightly bouncing on the bouncy, bouncing his two loyal subjects in the process. "De neighbors have a bunch of tool-y equip-y stuff dat is sure to help out de royal punishment!"

"Their stuff is ouchey!" Mort added in.

"Yes, it is! Perfect for me to grab upon and get at Maurice! And I have seen de bossy penguin punish his subjects! He slaps upon dem in such a way dat I cannot help but watch! It is inspiring de way he is so disappointed in his servants, but de guy_ also_ cares!" Julien then sighed, trying to be sympathetic. "I _do_ care for you Maurice, but you sometimes bother me and make me want to hurt you, so we are going to de neighbors so dat _they_ may help me hurt you."

"Are we going to visit the penguins?" asked Mort.

"Well of course we are going to visit de- Hey, look there they are over there!" Julien pointed at the three penguin shaped shadows leaving out the zoo exit. "Where are they going? …Maurice!" the lemur king called when the aye-aye didn't pay attention.

"What?" Maurice turned, blinking. He was already dreading going over to visit the penguins for help on his '_royal punishment'_. Those birds were psychotic and he didn't feel too comfortable consulting them for help on hurting him.

"I said de penguins are leaving de zoo! We must be catching dem before they are getting away!" King Julien bounced high and over his habitat wall. The other two shorter lemurs bounced behind him. The king landed on his feet with a bit of a stumbled but didn't fall. He cupped both his furry hands over his mouth. "Come back, silly penguins!" The lemur king called to them.

As the self-proclaimed king was yelling after the penguins, Mort and Maurice landed ungracefully in a pile on the ground behind their king.

"Hmph! They are gone, Maurice. Looks like you are not to be getting your punishment after all" King Julien frowned.

"We could follow them and _theeen _give Maurice his punishment!" suggested Mort.

Maurice glared at the little mouse lemur. Mort giggled.

"Hmm…" King Julien thought about this option for a moment, looking over at the zoo gates and past them to the dark of the city. "No, I do not wish to do dat. It's too far away."

Maurice nodded sheepishly. "Way too far, your majesty. You wouldn't want to walk all that way would you? Just to follow a bunch of flightless birds so they can tell you what to do?"

"You are right, Maurice!"

"I am? I-I mean of course I am!"

"Yes, but nobody likes a show off Maurice, so shut up a little bit."

Maurice nodded. "Right…"

Mort blinked. "It's not that far-"

"Quiet!" snapped Maurice, glaring at the tiny lemur.

Mort frowned and crossed his tiny arms. "You are not nice today." the little lemur pouted.

Julien nodded to himself. "Since you have been helping your king so much today, you are off of de royal punishment…" the lemur king watched his advisor smile widely and then decided to finish his statement with a grin. "…but you were still being a showoff so instead of following de penguins we are going to go over and _borrow _some of their hurt-y things."

"I _like_ ouchey!" Mort said and then was hit by the advisor. "Ouchey!"

Maurice sighed. "Let's just get this over with…"

"That's the spirit, Maurice!" King Julien smiled widely. "You must embrace your punishment! And…eh…make sure you don't scream too loudly, you'll hurt de royal ears. Mort, fetch me de earmuffs. "

Mort nodded happily and climbed up on the lemur king's head, covering his ears. The tiny lemur smiled deliriously, cuddling up to the fur on the king's head.

"PERFECT, NOW LET'S GO!" shouted Julien, unable to hear that his voice was too loud.

"Shhh!" Maurice shushed him.

"WHAT, MAURICE?"

"I said, shhh!" The aye-aye repeated.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE ON DE EARMUFFS!"

"SHHHH!"

"WHAT?"

"I _like _being earmuffs!" Mort cut in.

"SHUT UP, MORT!" King Julien scolded. "I CANNOT HEAR WHAT MAURICE IS SAYING!"

"Ugh…forget it man…" Maurice face palmed.

"WHAT?"


	20. Just Visiting

**Authors Note: I change my username alot...so...you might want to get used to dat! Review please! How am I supposed to be knowing if you want more if you silly people do not review de story? You confuse your king, do you know dat? **

* * *

As the lemurs walked over to the penguin habitat, Julien was strutting while humming a song he heard this one time a long time ago.

Maurice the aye-aye lemur trudged along beside the king and Mort who was acting as ear coverings on Julien's head. Since Julien couldn't hear anything he hummed a bit louder than really necessary, sure to wake up some of the other inhabitants in the zoo.

Mort hummed to King Julien's humming, making it even louder which was pretty loud. It was starting to be borderline torture and the aye-aye felt like this was already his punishment and then some.

"Will you stop it?" Maurice glared upwards.

"Stop what?" asked Mort.

"Humming! It's bad enough Julien's waking up the whole zoo and tomorrow I'm probably gonna have to answer for it. You don't have to make my job any harder."

"But King Julien is humming!" defended Mort who saw that as a perfect explanation as to why he should hum too.

"Exactly," Maurice confirmed. "If _he's_ humming, you shouldn't be."

"But…if King Julien is humming…" Mort thought up his theory, seeing so much logic in it. "Then we should all hum too."

"Nooo…" Maurice disagreed. "If Julien's humming then…uh…he would only want his own humming to be heard! Yeah! _His_ and no one else's."

"Not mine?" Mort asked.

"No, not yours."

"Oh. Okay." Mort nodded and stayed quiet.

Not five seconds after the tiny lemur stopped, did Julien stop humming too and start to sing aloud. King Julien hummed loudly as he strutted down the zoo paths, stopping in front of the penguin habitat. "_…Hm, hm hm hm, hm hm! …sprinkle it with dew…de candy man!_"

"Julien." Maurice tried to get the king's attention.

"…_oh de candy man can…!_"

"Julien!"

"_De candy man-_"

"JULIEN!" shouted Maurice, even louder.

"What! What is it!?" Julien exclaimed, ripping Mort from on top of his head and throwing the small lemur on the ground.

"We're here."

The lemur king blinked. "We are?"

"_Yes_."

"Oh, well they must have done something new with de place. Perhaps they redid de lighting." Julien hummed and hopped on top of the aye-aye's, using his advisor as a trampoline to propel himself over the wall. He landed with a huff, tapping his foot and patiently waiting for the other two lemurs to join him. The lemur king scowled. "Maurice! I expect dis type of behavior from you, but Mort? How dare you keep your king waiting!" All he got in response was strained groans and the sound of the wall trying to be climbed. He groaned himself and shook his head. "You are _both_ getting de punishments after dis!"

Maurice finally got up to the top of the wall, panting and he reached his tail down to help out Mort. Mort was hefted up to the top of the wall and then the two shorter lemurs hopped down. The only problem was that they were on the outer side of the pool instead on the inner.

"Swim you two! You are both so slow it's really getting on my nerves!" complained King Julien.

Maurice blinked, surprised at the lemur king. "Uh, Julien? Mort can't swim."

"Carry him then! Jeezy! Do I have to do everything? Why do I even have an adviser if I am de one advising you all de time?! It takes initiative, Maurice! You have to-"

"Alright! We're swimming!" Maurice cut him off. He rolled his eyes, hating when the king acted like he didn't do most of the work all the time which he _did!_ The aye-aye sighed and bent down to Mort's height. "Hop on." he instructed the little lemur.

Mort nodded and climbed up on the aye-aye's back as he started to swim across the penguin pool. They were doing fine, almost halfway across until the king spoke again.

"Eh…wait, stop…" Julien started. "Maurice, stop swimming! I am commanding you!"

Maurice stopped kicking his legs and stopped swimming, using only his arms to keep him and Mort afloat. The aye-aye's face kept going under because Mort was freaking out on top of his head, trying not to get into the water. Between this the aye-aye glared at the king and shouted at him. "What-" his face went under water again before he reemerged. "What?! I can't just-" The water covered his face again. "-can't just stop swimming! What do you want?"

"I am just concerned that's all." admitted Julien from atop the makeshift ice flow.

"Concerned-" The aye-aye resurfaced after his head went under again. "-concerned about-" The water went over Maurice's head. "-concerned about what?"

"Didn't you eat a lot of de pineapple for dinner?"

"Yeah-" Maurice was interrupted by the water. "-yeah why?"

"Uh oh, Maurice. You are not supposed to swim after you eat unless you want to get de crampies."

Maurice scoffed. "I'm not gonna get a-" Water went over his head. "-not going to get a-" The aye-aye spit out some water and widened his eyes suddenly. "-AGH IT HURTS!"

As you can guess, the aye-aye randomly got a cramp. Maurice sunk quickly in the pool along with Mort.

Mort resurfaced but Maurice didn't. The mouse lemur- who actually could swim- spun around in the water looking around for the aye-aye. Mort may be far below average intelligence but he knew when something was wrong. Mort looked scared and horrified at that moment looking for the second tallest lemur.

"No! Maurice!" King Julien cried. "If you can hear me, use Mort as a float-y device! He will save you from dying I'm pretty sure!"

Mort acted quickly and dived into the water. The tiny lemur resurfaced moments later with an unconscious Maurice. Mort swam to the concrete ice flow, pulling the aye-aye up to safety and then himself. The smallest lemur then punched Maurice in the stomach, making the water erupt out of his mouth and also waking him up.

Maurice sat up, gasping for air and shocked. "Wh-what happened?"

"Mort!" gaped Julien. "You just saved Maurice from his watery death! How did you do dat?!"

"He what?" Maurice blinked. "Mort…I don't know what to say, I- _wait_…" The aye-aye narrowed his eyes. "I thought you said you didn't know how to swim!"

"No, I can swim." Mort nodded. "I swam _allll _the way to Africa when you guys accidentally shut the door before I got on the plane."

The two tallest lemurs looked between each other guiltily.

"Accident, yes…" Julien chuckled.

"Uh, Mort? We got something to tell you…" Maurice started to confess. "We didn't really-"

King Julien smacked the aye-aye in the face, effectively ending his confession. "Eh…we would like to say dat we are sorry for dat, yeah. Sorry about dat Mort."

Maurice scowled, rubbing his cheek. "You never usually smack us, why'd you start now?"

"Oh, I learned from de penguins. They do it all de time so I thought I'd give it a go. I'm pretty good at it so I'm going to do it more." Julien told him.

Mort added into the conversation. "The dolphin taught me CPR."

Maurice's eyes widened and he looked down at the little lemur. "Did you say dolphin?"

Mort nodded.

Julien shrugged. "So a dolphin taught him de CPR, who cares? What I really want to know is why didn't he teach me it? Stupid unknown dolphin! How could he show stupid Mort and not me?"

"Hold on a second, Julien. I don't think the dolphin Mort's talking about is so unknown." Maurice said.

King Julien crossed his arms, still uncaring. "Unknown, known, whatever! How come he didn't teach me anything?!"

"If what I think is true, the dolphin may _have _already taught you something." replied Maurice.

"What did this dolphin teach me then? I demand to know!"

Maurice glared at the king. "I could find out if you'd just let me talk to Mort for one second."

Julien glared back and stepped aside, allowing the aye-aye access to Mort. "Fine! Go ahead!"

Maurice bent down to face the small mouse lemur. "Now Mort, what exactly did this dolphin look like?"

"He was big." Mort said.

"And?" Maurice pressed.

"He taught me CPR."

"And?"

"He gave me this picture." Mort held up a picture for the other two lemurs to see.

"Hey! It's dat Blow-Joe guy!" Julien pointed at the photo.

Maurice blinked, concerned. "_That's_ the dolphin that taught you CPR?"

Mort nodded.

Julien scowled. "De only thing he taught _me_ was how to ride a motorized scooter, how to work all his weapon-y things, and how to make de Skipper so angry he blows his flatty top! Dat is hardly _anything!_ Stupid Blow-Joe!"

"When exactly did he give you this picture and show you how to do CPR?" asked Maurice.

"Oh, he showed me today." Mort answered simply.

Maurice was taken aback at the answer given. "T-today?! When? He was in the zoo today?"

Mort nodded. "It was after King Julien said he'd give me the magic words."

Maurice nodded for him to go on. "When you went to the lost and found." The aye-aye noted.

"After I saw the bossy penguin run away. The dolphin had a biiig coat on."

"He was in a disguise?" Maurice shook his head. "Man, I don't like the sound of this."

"He gets a disguise too?!" exclaimed Julien. "_And_ he wouldn't give me one of his Segway's!?"

"What did he want?" asked Maurice.

"He was looking for the bossy penguin but he couldn't find him so he left a note for him to see!" replied Mort.

Maurice sighed, knowing that none of this was at all good. "Where's the note, Mort?"

Mort pointed behind them. "He put it on the fishbowl so the Skipper penguin could see it."

Both Maurice and King Julien turned around to the fishbowl to see a piece of paper taped to the metal bowl, flapping in the cool night wind. Julien plucked it up and looked it over.

"What's it say?" asked the aye-aye.

"Well…" Julien started as if he were reading it. "I cannot read..."

"Give me that!" Maurice snatched the note away. "We need someone who can read and fast. Who knows what kinda trouble the penguins are in with that crazy dolphin coming into the zoo."

"Yes…" King Julien nodded in thought. "And we definitely have to get me a Segway before we do dat…" the king said and didn't see the eye roll his adviser gave him. "But who do we know dat can do de reading thing? Who…?" the lemur thought longer, not coming up with anyone.

Maurice sighed. The king was forever clueless. He shrugged and suggested the obvious. "How about Phil and Mason?"

"No…not dem…" Julien dismissed the suggestion, thinking more.

"Your majesty, they're the only ones we know that know how to read." reasoned Maurice.

"Who is?"

"Phil and Mason."

"Who are they?"

Maurice narrowed his eyes. "They're our neighbors on the other side, they're chimps."

"Right," King Julien nodded. "And what can they do?"

"_Read._"

"Yes, I'm following you! But why do we need them to do dat for?"

At this point Maurice was downright glowering at the lemur king. "So we can find out what the note says."

"Eh, what note?"

"The note Blowhole sent the penguins, man!" Maurice shouted.

"Oh, dat note. Okay, let's do it! Let's go get me a Segway!" cheered King Julien, jumping on Maurice's head and bouncing with glee, flipping over the wall with an excited laugh.

Maurice sighed, and stepped forward, staring at the water that once again they were on the wrong side of to get somewhere. The aye-aye looked at Mort with his eyes narrowed. "You're not gonna swim across this thing, are you?"

Mort giggled and shook his head no.

Maurice nodded that he understood and then bent down with another tired sigh. "Hop on."

"Oh yay!" Mort cheered, hopping up on the aye-aye's head as they once again entered the penguin's pool.

"_AGH! CRAMP!"_

"Use Mort as a float-y thingy! It'll work dis time! I promise!" called Julien. The lemur saw that it wasn't working. "Eh…okay, I don't promise then…"


	21. Translations

**Chimp Habitat.**

Maurice groaned and all he saw was darkness as he regained his senses. He also heard a soft voice start to coax him back to the waking world. He sighed calmly at the gentleness of it.

"…Get up Maurice…" Julien tried to wake his chubby companion. "It is time to get up… Wakey _wakey_, Maurice…" Then the voice lost its tenderness altogether, screaming at him. "...**_GET UP! MAURICE!_**"

"Huh?!" Maurice sat up abruptly, coughing. "What happened?"

"I say, are you feeling alright?" asked Mason.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Maurice put a hand on his head and stood up on shaky feet.

"Well that's a relief, I was just telling Phil here how lucky it is for you to be alive." Mason said gravely. "With these two, your life may as well have been put in the hands of a deadly viper snake." The chimp named Mason pointed a thumb back at Mort and King Julien.

Julien looked confused. "Hey, a snake don't have no hands buddy!"

Mason nodded, grimly. "Exactly my point."

"Right…uh, what are we doing here at you chimps' place?" asked Maurice.

Julien rolled his eyes. "Stupid Maurice! Mort dragged you here after you died in de water again!"

Maurice frowned. "And you didn't help him carry me, did you?"

"Eh, no. I cannot be throwing out de royal back! Then how will I be shaking my groove thing at parties? No, I couldn't help Mort. It would have put me at jeopardy, and I don't understand dat show so why would I want to be in it?"

Maurice shook his head. "Whatever, did you find out what the note says?"

Julien blinked. "Eh…"

"The one we found in the penguin habitat, the one from Blowhole!" Maurice clarified, and still not getting any recognition from the king, he sighed with his eyes narrowed. "From the guy who wouldn't give you one of his Segway's…"

"Oh! I hate dat guy!" Julien scowled, and handed the piece of paper over to the chimps. "Here, you must read this so I may enact my horrible revenge upon him and steal his Seggy-way!"

Mason took the note and handed it to Phil who translated in sign language. Mason nodded as Phil read the note, and Mason read the signs aloud for the lemurs to hear.

"_Call me, Skipper…_" Mason read. "_You know you don't have a choice…Maybe then we can __talk __things out..._" Mason blinked. "The word talk is underlined and it is signed with initials: _D.B._"

"Oh no!" cried King Julien. "It's dat freaky lady! She has come back to enact her horrible revenge upon me!" the lemur king cowered in fear behind the chimps' feet.

"I _doubt_ that." Mason said to the king. "And besides, her initials are C.D." informed Mason. "Dubois is only _one _word."

Maurice agreed that the king was wrong. "Julien, we already established that it was that dolphin guy who sent the letter. You know, that Doctor Blowhole guy. And why would Dubois come after you personally anyway? The worst thing you possibly did was sick Mort on her. She shot you with a dart. _Twice_."

"Eh, actually, de dart wasn't dat bad de second time around. It didn't bother me all dat much…"

"_Anyway,_" Maurice went on. "This is obviously why the penguins left the zoo. They went to go battle the dolphin guy and save the world or something. I hope they get out okay, man. That Blowhole guy is bad news."

"If you're so worried, why don't you go look at their mission logs." suggested Mason. "That's what Marlene does when she's worried about them. Although the word around the zoo is she's mostly concerned for a certain flat-headed flightless bird…" Mason smirked suggestively.

"The otter likes the bossy penguin!" Mort remarked.

"Marlene likes de feather fish, say what now?" Julien blinked, surprised at finding this out.

Maurice shook his head. "Ignore them." the aye-aye told the chimps. "Where do they keep those logs?"

Phil signed something and Mason nodded.

Mason translated. "They are kept in Kowalski's laboratory in a box by the computer, which not oddly enough has a female dolphin as the desktop background."

Phil signed something else, but in dismay and with a tragic shake of the head.

Mason nodded again with a sigh. "You're right; he does really need to get over it."

"Hey thanks, and sorry for them barging in with me like I'm sure they did." Maurice thanked and shook the chimp's hand. The aye-aye was about to shake hands with Phil too when Mason cut in to stop him.

"I _wouldn't_ touch that hand if I were you. You wouldn't believe where it's been only this morning." Mason told Maurice who recoiled back.

Maurice made a disgusted face and drew back his hand.

"Ew…" Mort even said.

"Dat is so _gross_." King Julien said, amused. "Where did he put it?" he asked excitedly.

Phil signed something and Mason turned up his nose as well. "Oh, I'm not translating _that_."

"Come on, Julien." Maurice started pulling the king out of the chimp habitat.

"But I want to know where de hand went!" complained Julien as he was ushered away.


	22. Still Visiting

**Penguin HQ.**

"Did you find de Seggy-way yet?" asked Julien, excitedly.

Maurice sighed. "Not yet, Julien…" the aye-aye lied as he looked through the box of mission files which was really a box full of poorly drawn pictures of events that supposedly happened.

King Julien spun around in the spinning chair by the computer, bored out of his kingly mind. "Ugh, dis is taking FOREVA! How long is dis going to TAKE?! I have been sitting here for HOURS now I 'm sure of it!"

Maurice cast a glance over at the king. "It's only been five minutes."

"No, it was more then dat. I'm telling you it's been like…"

"Hours?" finished Mort.

"Yes! You see, Maurice? Even Mort is agreeing with me dat dis is taking too long! There has got to be a better way of looking through de files!"

Maurice looked at the lemur king again, away from the papers. "You mean like _looking through the files_?"

"Yes! Do dat! But faster!" King Julien commanded. "I am wasting away into dull-iness over here!"

"Well why don't you do something in the meantime to entertain yourself until I find something?" suggested Maurice.

"Like what?" asked Julien. "What could I possibly do to entertain myself in de silly penguin's house?"

Mort gave a mischievous giggle. "We could play with the weapons!"

King Julien's eyes widened and his smile stretched wide. "Dat is a great idea!" the lemur sped out of the spinning chair and was over to the wall of weaponry within seconds. The lemur king marveled all the gadgets and heavy artillery. "I wonder what dis one does…" Julien reached for a particularly spiky looking weapon when the adviser raced over and pulled it off the wall, away from the king.

"Why don't you and Mort go on the computer and search the web for…uh… reasonable Segway prices?" Maurice suggested hopefully with a nervous grin.

"Ooh! I like dat idea more! Come, Mort! Let's pick out a pretty rosy colored one!" exclaimed Julien and ran to the computer, back in the spinning chair. His furry fingers were clicking on the keys with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth. It was slightly obvious he had no idea what he was doing. "Eh…its printing something…I hope it's my Seggy-way! …Mort! Catch my Segway when it comes out of de printing thingy!"

"I got it, King Julien!" Mort proclaimed, standing under the printer with his arms out, ready to 'catch the Segway' when it came out.

Maurice sighed and turned back to the box of papers. There were a bunch of events filed in here, some of them the aye-aye remembered. There was the time Clemson nearly got rid of Julien, the time Barry got stuck in the cotton candy machine, that time Marlene turned feral, that time that Blowhole guy nearly took over the world with Julien's mp3 player, but he couldn't find anything that would help them figure out what the penguins were up to.

The aye-aye was about to give up when he spotted a piece of paper sticking up out of the very end of the box where the most recent files were. With a raised brow he gently pulled it out from its crevice. He straightened the sheet out before glancing it over. This particular mission log was peculiar. It was different than the others. Didn't the scientist penguin draw out the mission logs? And weren't they usually in black and white? This one was different from the rest because this one was in color and looked more…innocent than the others, like it was just a doodle drawn by an imaginative and naïve child.

.

.

.

(3 Days Ago.)

"_K'walski? Have you seen Skippah?" Private said after he entered the lab._

_The analyst sighed, standing up from in front of the mission log box. He thought he'd file a few more since they had so much free time these days. Kowalski dusted off his flippers and looked at the private. "He's in one of the levels of the HQ."_

"_Okay, thank you K'walski." The private smiled, beginning to walk off. Private smiled when he was stopped by the analyst with a flipper across his chest._

"_Leave him alone." _

"_But-"_

"_I mean it, Private. I don't want you bothering Skipper. He's trying to feel better but he can't do that if you pester him about it."_

"_I just wanted to-"_

"_He likes to do things on his own, trust me, I know what I'm talking about and you should respect his wishes like I am." _

_Private sighed glumly and nodded obediently. "Aye, K'walski." _

"_Good, now I need you to finish up these mission files for me while I take Rico out to the park to set off some controlled explosions. He hasn't seen anything blowup in days and he gets deprived if he doesn't get his daily dosage of raw violence. We should both be back in an hour or so." _

_Private saluted. "Aye." he agreed and bent down to see to the mission files. As he tended to the files and the analyst closed the lab door, Private notice that the updated files weren't all that updated. In fact, they were behind by a few missions. The small penguin was going to make the missing ones but as everyone knows it's hard to focus on past things when something else is currently occupying your mind in the present. So he shrugged. He was sure Kowalski wouldn't mind if he added a mission of his own to the log. He had to get Skipper back to normal, he thought. But what would make Skipper happy now? Private sighed as he thought of the only thing and set out to draw it. __The private grabbed some crayons and blank sheets of paper and got to work. He didn't think he could bring back someone who was dead though... _

_With another sigh, the young penguin held up his finished picture, knowing that it could never happen. He was a just a little penguin after all, he couldn't do much. _

.

.

.

(Present.)

Maurice blinked at the drawing in front of him. It was colorful and quite clear in getting the point across, unlike the others that were hard to understand. On the paper there was a picture of a colorful beaked bird and a penguin that resembled Skipper hugging, with three penguins resembling Kowalski, Rico and Private in the background. The three penguins looked confused but Private's expression had a troubled looking distinction.

The aye-aye couldn't make sense of the drawing but he knew it had something to do with what's been going on lately. The penguins told him that the puffin had died and Skipper wasn't himself because of it, and none of them had expected such a reaction from the leader. Maurice didn't have to be close to the situation to understand that there was something that didn't add up. He could tell something else was wrong along with all the things that already were. Someone was missing _something _here…

"Hey, Maurice look! We found de smarty penguin's smarty-phone! …I wonder if he has de girly dolphin as his screen photo thingy on here too. You know, he should have his _king_ as his background photo! Not some smelly fish! …Aw it's broken! Somebody took out de chippy card in de back!" Julien frowned, shaking the phone to try to make it work or to shake out the missing SD card.

Mort moped and pouted. "It is broken!"

Julien shrugged. "Eh, oh well!" the lemur tossed the smartphone behind him somewhere with a loud crash. "Let's see now, what else can I put my kingly hands upon? What do you want to do, Mort?"

Mort smiled and was about to express how happy he was that the king wanted to do what he wanted.

"No, dat is stupid. Why would I ever want to do what you want to do? I would not! So I am going to use my own smarty-ness to think of something to do. Kowalski is not de only one with de brains here in dis zoo! So I'm thinking now." The lemur king stopped talking to think silently, a hard look on his face as he forced himself to think.

"Are you angry?" Mort asked the king.

"No, Mort. I'm thinking."

"But you look angry!"

"I'm not!"

"Then why are you making that face?"

"Because I am thinking, stupid Mort! Now shut up and let your king think!"

"Okay!" Mort agreed and shut up. He blinked a couple of times, then started talking again. "What's that noise?"

King Julien growled at him. "It is you making stupid-ness come out of your face! JEEZY! I thought I told you a bagillion times to shut up a little bit!"

In this moment, Maurice stood up and dusted his hands off, walking over to the two youngest lemurs. "Alright, I got nothing, but I did find something if that makes sense."

"Dat actually makes minus a bagillion sense! But it does make sense!" Julien told him. "What is it you found, Maurice? Is it a Segway?" the lemur asked eagerly. "Can I ride upon it!?"

"Sorry Julien, I couldn't find any Segway's." Maurice shrugged.

"So, what? I get nothing then? A king cannot just get nothing! A king must get something! I command dat you get me _something_, Maurice!"

The entire HQ was suddenly rocked with the sound of something hard driving into metal and concrete. Everything shook with each impact taken.

Maurice and Mort yelped in surprise, trying to keep their footing on the ground and not be knocked over by the vibrations.

Julien frowned, yelling over the deafening sound. "Is this what you get your king? An earthquake? Well I have one thing to say to dat, buddy!" the lemur's frown lifted into a thrilled smile. "It is de best present eva! Thank you, Maurice!" King Julien laughed and ran out through the tunnel behind Private's 1st Prize fish hanging.

"Wait, Julien!" Maurice shouted, trying to stop the king but he was already gone. "I didn't-!"

Mort's voice vibrated along with the walls. "The-e-e-e gro-o-o-o-ound is sha-a-a-a-a-ke-y-y-y-y!"

"Come on, Mort! We gotta stop Julien before whatever's up there does!" The aye-aye started running after the king through the tunnel.

"O-o-o-o-ka-a-a-a-y!"


	23. Found

**Authors Note: ...Well...I fixed the lemur dilemma at least... O.o Happy Halloween! **

* * *

"Oh earth-y quake! Come to your king who loves you and thinks you are de greatest!" Julien called eagerly, looking for his new pet earthquake. "I shall name you Shake-ira! Do you like dat name? I know you do because your king has thought of it!" the lemur exited through the hole on the end of the tunnel. He ended up coming out through the side of a garbage can. Julien looked around for the earthquake. He could feel it but he just couldn't find out where it was coming from. "Oh Shake-ira! Your king doesn't like to be waiting you know!" the king squinted his eyes as he finally spotted something in front of the penguin habitat. "Hey…you are not an earthquake! Who de heck are you?"

A tall, broad shouldered man stepped towards the gray mammal. He looked at it with a sneer across his features, like he was disgusted by it. All animals disgusted him. He despised the things. All animals were good for nothing, all animals caused was _problemer_, too much trouble. They did not deserve to live upon man as they did. It was sickening to him. So he slowly approached the lemur, signaling his men to stop their assault on the _pingvin_ habitat. "What is this here? Why is there a lemur in my presence?"

The group of almost identical and smaller men lowered their battery ram, some of them scratching their heads confused, the rest shrugging. One of the operatives stepped up to respond to their chief in a calm accent. "I thought we were searching for pingvin?"

"Does _this_ look like a _penguin_ to you?" The chief spat with his natural hard expression on his face, his own accent much harder than that of the other men.

The men shook their heads no. This wasn't a penguin like they've ever seen before.

"That is because it is a lemur! Of no use to us! Get this disgusting vermin out of my sight!" ordered the chief.

King Julien gasped. "How dare you say such things about de royal King Julien! I demand either an apology...! Or some _funds _if you know what I mean!" the lemur smirked suggestively. Yes, he wanted money to buy himself a Segway. "Yeah, so I'll take it in coins, bills, bars, acorns, indentured servitude, but eh…I won't take it in de stinky-ness dat is fish! Because dat nice-y penguin owes dat smarty penguin five bucks and de nice-y penguin borrowed de borrowed money from me! Then he tried to pay it back with fish! My nose is still stinking of de stinky-ness! Ugh! But anyway, I'll take any payment 'cept fish! So lemme have it!" the lemur begged.

The chief gave a half smirk. "Do not worry, you will be _having it_ very soon."

Julien's eyes went a little wide. "Hey wait, how do you know what it is I am saying?" the king gasped loudly. "Have you been _spying_ on me!?

The chief rolled his eyes at the furry idiot before nodding to his operatives. "Get it out of my sight please."

The men nodded to their chief and raised their arms.

King Julien took no notice. The lemur was too busy unpacking more things from his head. "No wait, dat doesn't make any sense. Even if you have been spying upon me, you still wouldn't know what I am saying…" the king thought aloud and finally looked up at the men who cautiously approached him. "Eh hey, what is dat you are pointing at me?"

"Julien!" Maurice ran out of the tunnel. "What the? Who are these guys?"

The chief raised his heavy brows. "There are more of them? …Wait, I have seen these lemur before. They are of use. Gather them, we are taking them back _hjem _with us. Take out the one with the crown, he will just annoy me the whole way back."

The men aimed the metal in their hands directly at the king, backing him against the brick wall. They readied themselves to fire.

Julien backed away, hands up, looking over to his adviser for some advice as to what was going on because he honestly didn't know. "Maurice…?" But his adviser was frozen on the spot in disbelief. The king gulped, his body becoming very hot all of a sudden in rising fear. He heard a few loud cracks and this unbearable pain racked through his frame almost like fire. "MAURICE!" Julien screamed in pain, begging for help and for the pain he was feeling to stop. He felt a hole in his chest, and felt the warm wetness trail down his fur. The king moaned in agony, feeling his feet drop out from underneath him. He was unconscious seconds before hitting the floor.

"Ju-Julien!" stuttered Maurice, breaking out of his initial shock. He ran forward but was too late as what felt to be an electric jolt coursed through his entire body. Then he saw black and he could no longer stand. He could no longer feel the world around him as everything faded out.

The chief nodded in satisfaction and was about to turn away when he noticed something, a quivering little shadow hiding in the darkness. The chief cautiously made his way over to it, picking up the small animal by the scruff of its neck, lifting it so it was face to face with him. He looked over the pathetic little thing. It whimpered and cried to be let go, reaching out for the two elder lemurs passed out on the concrete. "_Pathetic_." he spat before flinging it to the ground with a twitch of the wrist. There it lay unmoving on the floor without any more sound.

The Danes left just as they came, silently and unnoticed, the only distinction being the three lemurs bagged up and hefted over one of the security men's shoulder.


	24. Lost

**Authors Note: Happy Halloween guys! And 97+ reviews! Thanks so much! You guys are so amazing! I love you little hippies! :D Kisses and Huggies to you all! Mwa! And happy trick or treating! Don't talk to strangers, never spay or neuter your pets, tip your cabby cuz he's broke, get candy, and ...MOVE IT! :DDD**

* * *

He felt bad about using Kowalski's smartphone to do something so deceitful. That was why he took the chip from the back of it and left the whole phone back at the base. He was still starting to regret his decision of leaving though. Why was he doing this? Was it even worth it?

Skipper let a troubled sigh escape his beak. "What am I doing?"

He had no business being out here in the first place! Well, he did, but he was having second thoughts about it now. This wasn't right, but it was too late now. He was almost there and he couldn't turn back lest the other think he chickened out because he was a coward. To be honest, the leader was scared. Not for himself, but for what danger he could possibly drag his team into if this went wrong. Heck, he may as well be writing all their wills as he walked through these woods!

This was a death wish; a _death wish_ is what this was. What was he _doing_? This was suicide, wasn't it? And he was alone! That was _great_! Yeah, _great _leadership options there! Then again, he wasn't the options guy. He was never good at making decisions. In his life he's figured that out the hard way. He supposed it was better that he came alone.

Poor Kowalski, Rico, and Private. His heart was a mess and he was bringing his whole team down with him. He interrupted Kowalski's use of the lab. He knew the analyst didn't feel comfortable not letting his guard down while he the leader was out of commission. Kowalski jumped at the chance to take place as commander. Perhaps he could add the analyst to the list of enemies who wanted him out of the way.

Nah, he was being over paranoid. He trusted Kowalski with his life, and Rico and Private as well. Poor innocent Private. Just look at how he's been acting around the boy! Normally he tries to protect the private's innocence and prevent the kid from learning the cruelties of the world around them.

They always shielded Private's eyes whether it be something horrific, to suggestive, to just downright nasty! But even the leader knew that death- it being a touchy subject in general- was inevitable. Why'd they have to kill Hans though? The puffin didn't do anything so wrong that deserved death, did he? Hans was harmless. He sighed at the irony. If Hans was so harmless, how come he was such a wreck thinking about him? Hans didn't have to die…

Skipper stopped at a nearby tree to rest. Man this forest ran deep. Was he almost there? Maybe he should just turn back…

At least his team was safe back in the base. He'd never be able to forgive himself if they got hurt or worse because of him. It didn't matter what happened to him tonight, as long as no one else he cared about was harmed.

He really should turn back. Could he?

No, he had to do this. He needed answers. He wanted them and he'd get them however he could. He had to do this, he reminded himself. He had to, he had to.

"Right." The leader nodded to convince himself and kept walking. He had to be almost there by now. He'd been walking for almost thirty minutes. This had to be far out enough. He followed the instructions to the letter.

Then he realized that, that was the problem. Skipper looked around cautiously. Something was wrong here. It was quiet save for the occasional cricket chirp and the rustling of the cool night wind against leaves, plus a wavering scent of saltwater.

"Skipper, I've been expecting you…"

"_Blowhole_…"

* * *

Private puffed out his breath as he walked on through the chilly forest. When he breathed out it gave the illusion that he was blowing out smoke. It was cold out, he admitted, even though he was a penguin. He remembered his leader saying how even though they were purely penguins, their bodies had gotten used to the New York climates. They'd been weaned off their ability to withstand the harshest of dropping temperatures. Skippah hated the cold, the young penguin recalled. And he wasn't too fond of it either he supposed.

"K'walski? Aren't we there yet?" The young penguin shivered as he walked, looking up hopefully at the analyst leading the way.

Kowalski kept following the tracker, not looking up but he answered the private as briefly as he could without losing focus on the trail ahead. "Not yet, Private. But we're almost there, I'm 77.9% sure."

"That doesn't sound too sure though."

"We're almost there." Kowalski said, more impatiently.

"Are we lost?"

"No! We aren't! I'm point, aren't I? I know where I'm going, now would you stay quiet? I can't hear the ping properly!" The analyst snapped and spun back to follow the directions of the tracker.

Private sighed and gave up on trying to talk to Kowalski. The private stopped walking, wiggling his toes on the leaves underneath him. They crunched under his weight, making an entertaining noise in his walking induced boredom. He was rammed into from behind and nearly fell forward hadn't he been caught in time. "Oh, sorry Rico."

The weapon's specialist nodded and used his flipper he caught the small penguin with and helped the private stand straight again.

"Thank you." Private nodded to the crazed penguin. The two started walking again, following silently behind Kowalski. It didn't take a genius to tell that him and Rico were long bored. All they were doing was walking forwards. A chase was more preferable than this! "Would you like to play a game with me?"

Rico gave the private a disapproved look. It better not be one of those pathetic overplayed kiddie games, or anything having to do with those vomit inducing Lunacorns the young penguin was so fond of.

Private saw the look he was receiving and promised the weapon's expert. "Alright, I promise no Lunacorns."

Rico nodded. That was good enough for him. So he agreed, but on one condition. He gave a wicked grin.

Private blinked, confused. "What? What's that look for?"

"Punch bugg'e! Nuh punch bak!" exclaimed Rico and ran a fist into the private's back.

"GAH!" Private screamed and was flung forward, falling hard onto the analyst in front of him. He scowled, glaring back at the manic penguin. "Rico!"

"AH!" Kowalski cried as something crashed into him. The tracker flew out of his hands and landed in a puddle by a tree trunk. It shorted out, sending sparks flying into the muddy water. The pinging died with a slight crackle. "What have you done?!" The analyst spun around and shouted at the two. "That was our only way of finding Skipper and now it's gone! We'll never be able to find Skipper now! What do you have to say for yourselves!?"

"Look!" Private suddenly pointed. "It's Skippah!"

Kowalski crossed his arms with an eye roll. "Very funny, Private."

"No, K'walski, look! It really is Skippah!"

The analyst spun around and his eyes softened immensely, widening too. "Huh, so it is."

Private was thrilled to see his leader standing there under the trees. He smiled, relieved that Skipper was alright. He started to call out to his leader to let him know that they were here with him now and that they'd never let him out of their sight again. The private felt like a right parent, angry at their child for coming home late. Didn't Skipper know how worried sick they were when they saw he was gone?! But he couldn't say any of this because a flipper covered his beak, and Private wasn't surprised to find out that it was the analyst who'd silenced him. "Mmph!" he complained but he was shushed. Private looked to Rico for help but the weapon's expert was just as confused as he was. They both just wanted their leader to come back, why was Kowalski preventing them from doing that?

Rico blinked, gave a casual scratching to his stomach and blinked again. "Uhm, 'Walski? Whaz 'rong?"

"Shhh…" Kowalski instructed them with a whisper and narrowed his eyes in concentration. "…What's he doing?" the analyst uncovered the private's mouth without much thought.

Private, staying quiet, stared out into the small clearing where there weren't many trees. His leader had stopped walking, actually stepping back a bit and taking in his surroundings cautiously. As if he suspected something to jump out at him. "He's just standing there, K'walski. Let's just take him home while we can and ask him questions later!"

Kowalski shook his head. "No…" The analyst knew Skipper, and something was up. "He's waiting for something…"

This didn't make sense to Private, not at all. "What could he possibly be waiting for? This doesn't make any sense, I don't care to know why Skippah came out here, I just want him back home where he belongs so we all can-"

The three subordinates almost jumped in surprise when they saw their leader jump back in what looked to be surprise. They watched Skipper turn his head in the direction of something and recognition lit up on the leader's features, that and hate. A pure look of hate and loathing was given by their leader at what was in front of him.

Private, Kowalski, and Rico all gasped from their hiding place behind the tree. They stared in complete disbelief and shock.

Kowalski stared ahead with wide eyes and his beak ajar. "It can't _be_…"

"Nuh way!" Rico gawked.

Private gasped. "But it _is_...!"

The dolphin stared down at the penguin leader from his motorized machine, thrilled to see the animosity in his enemy's icy blue eyes. "Skipper, I've been expecting you…"

"Blowhole…" Skipper glared back, taking a step towards his arch enemy. "I've been waiting for you to show up!"


	25. Reactions Speak Louder

**Authors Note: I…can't believe I was able to get dis out tonight. PLEASE review! You know you want to! Goodnight my most favoritest peoples in de world!**

**~Natty**

* * *

They watched Skipper turn his head in the direction of something and recognition lit up on the leader's features, that and hate. A pure look of hate and loathing was given by their leader at what was in front of him.

Private, Kowalski, and Rico all gasped from their hiding place behind the tree. They stared in complete disbelief and shock.

Kowalski stared ahead with wide eyes and his beak ajar. "It can't _be_…"

"Nuh way!" Rico gawked.

Private gasped. "But it _is_...!"

The dolphin stared down at the penguin leader from his motorized machine, thrilled to see the animosity in his enemy's icy blue eyes. "Skipper, I've been expecting you…"

"Blowhole…" Skipper glared back, taking a step towards his arch enemy. "I've been waiting for you to show up."

"Fa-a-a-a-ashionably late as always." Dr. Blowhole smirked. "Did you come alone?"

Behind the tree, the three penguins stared in shock at the get-together happening before them. This was…_insane_! Why would their commander meet up with their number one arch enemy? Even so, why would he go alone? Did their leader not trust them or think he could handle the mad dolphin on his own?

"Wha duh heck!?" Rico stared, pointing at the scene in front of them.

Kowalski shook his head. "This just doesn't make any sense!"

"_Why _would Skippah meet with Dr. Blowhole?" Private couldn't fathom it. "And why at this late hour? K'walski did you know about this then?"

"Of course I didn't! Can't you see this blatant and obvious sense of bewilderment on my features?" the analyst said while pointing at his face. "I knew nothing of this! And I'm offended! Skipper usually tells me more than any of _you two_! How could he leave _me_ out of such a big loop?" Kowalski looked down in disappointment.

"What do we do?" Private asked. A part of the small penguin wanted to get their leader far away from the evil dolphin but he also wanted to see what this was all about.

"'_Walski, options!_" Rico added in.

"Shhh!" Kowalski whispered. "Alright, but we have to be very, very quiet." The analyst told the two who nodded obediently, silently saying they'd stay silent. Kowalski nodded and whispered to them again. "We could go out there and bust up whatever union is going on between them and confront them outright, or we can stand here and do nothing. I say we go with the second option."

"But we never not react to something!" Private claimed. "Especially not something as serious as _this_! This is _Dr. Blowhole! _And more importantly, _Skippah!_"

"Hear me out," Kowalski instructed. "By doing nothing we are in fact doing something. If we do nothing and let them continue on with their meeting as planned, we could get some useful data on the situation and get an insight as to what we're dealing with. But if we jump in and confront them blindly, there's no telling how Blowhole would react. Odds are he has a lobster army at the ready in case of any foul play. Skipper has the disadvantage of being alone and defenseless, or so he thinks. Mind you, he doesn't even know we're here, neither does Blowhole. The moment we jump out, there's no telling what he might do to Skipper."

"I just don't feel comfortable doing nothing, standing behind a hollow tree while Skippah takes on Dr. Blowhole all by himself. What if he gets hurt?"

"We'd never allow Skipper to actually get hurt. If the bottlenose _does_ try something we'll be right here at the ready to intervene." the analyst said.

Private nodded, surrendering. "Alright, but we're jumping in, the second we see Dr. Blowhole try to do something to Skippah."

Kowalski nodded too. "Okay, follow me quietly. We can't make a sound." The analyst whispered and led the two shorter penguins closer to their leader and the dolphin. The three lesser penguins army crawled their way to a bush, the closest place they could possibly listen in without being spotted.

Private winced and stopped himself from crying out in pain as he felt his flipper get cut on something with sharp edges. The small penguin looked down at what cut him to find what looked like a tiny chip, a tiny SD card chip that is. He picked it up, looking it over. It looked like something technical, and if it was technical there was only one penguin who would know about it. "K'walski…" The private called the analyst quietly to get his attention.

"Be quiet, Private. They're speaking. _Listen_." The analyst turned his head to peer out through the bush, the two shorter penguins doing the same as they listened in on the conversation at hand.

"Did you come alone?" the dolphin asked their leader.

"Did _you_?" Skipper retorted.

"I did because we both agreed to, but I've never been one to trust a peng-you-in, until now."

"Yeah right. Where are your little red soldiers?"

"They're…_around._" Blowhole said. "Where's your team?"

"Not here."

"And you expect me to believe that?"

"It'd make things easier if you did." Skipper shrugged. "They really aren't here."

"You expect me to belie-e-e-eve that you're out here all by yourself, defenseless? Whose half thought out idea was that? Kowalski's?" the dolphin asked and the penguin whose name had just been spoken narrowed his eyes from behind the bush.

"Let's not beat around the bush, Blowhole. Tell me why I'm here."

"You are here because it was _too_ easy to track Kowalski's smartphone address."

"Enough about Kowalski and you two's petty technical rivalry! Why'd you contact me? And how'd you know I was the one using the phone in the first place? It could've been anyone on that thing!"

"Well Skipper, not _anyone_ reroutes power to make a long distanced call to Copenhagen, Denmark." Dr. Blowhole provoked. "I di-i-i-idn't know you cared."

Skipper shrugged modestly. "I'm a nice guy."

"Just not to Hans, right?"

The leader was exasperated at that. "I said I didn't know his family!"

"I know," the dolphin circled the penguin with his Segway. "I heard you. And may I give props that you still know the Danish language after all these years."

"What do you want from me, Blowhole?" Skipper glared.

Blowhole purposely ignored him, trying to get on the commanding penguin's nerves. "I'm going to miss Hans…" the dolphin lied, cooing. "What about _you_?"

The leader glared at him for what he said, but ignored his question right back. That didn't matter now anyway. "For how long have you been listening in on our phone calls?"

"Tell Kowalski that if he keeps calling my sister then I'm going to kill you."

"So this is a trap then?" Skipper asked.

"Only if it needs to be." Blowhole answered. "It all depends on how this goes. Where's your team, Skipper?"

"Why are you so obsessed with my lieutenant?"

"They've got to be around here somewhere. _I _certainly didn't come alone to meet you."

"Well _I_ did, and if you don't start talking then I suppose it's high time I start walking."

"Don't you threaten me with rhymes, peng-you-in. We both know you aren't going anywhere until you hear what you want to know."

"Uh, earth to mammal , _you _organized this whole meeting."

"And it's going qui-i-i-i-ite swimmingly on my end."

Skipper scoffed. "I guess my end is on dry land. This is the most unproductive meeting I've ever been to. It's even more uneventful than ringtail's meeting about the pineapples."

"Oh _please _don't bring up that _lemur._" The evil dolphin rolled his eye but thought the same thought over again. Something came to mind. Something delightful. He had seen the helicopters leave earlier while he was scoping out the zoo before he came to meet Skipper. Blowhole was thrilled when he saw those men- armed to the teeth –take out the obnoxious lemur king. "Speaking of lemurs, Skipper, there's something you should know about your _beloved _King Ju-u-u-u-ulien." The mad dolphin smirked in a way that suggested he knew something the small penguin leader did not. Which he _did_.

"Blowhole, _please_. The _last_ thing I want to talk about right now is Ringtail….and I thought we went over this before. We are _not_ best friends. I really thought we had that covered."

"Alright," Blowhole shrugged with fake modesty. "I guess it isn't truly _that_ important. I won't _shoot_ it out of my mouth again…" the dolphin started laughing to himself. "Ah-ah-ah-ah!"

"Good." Skipper nodded, wanting to finally get somewhere. "Now tell me-"

"_I_ have a question for _you_, Skipper." The dolphin interrupted, grinning ear hole to ear hole.

The leader rolled his eyes, frustrated with his enemy's constant disruptions. "What now? Make it quick! I have a few things I want to say to you too!"

"I promise on that idiot lemur's life that this will be quick in pace..." Blowhole lied.

"Swearing on Ringtail? I wouldn't bother." Skipper scoffed. "With the way he behaves, the royal nutcase probably won't last much longer…" the leader joked.

This comment caused the mad dolphin to burst out laughing. He almost wished he could see the look on his enemy's face when the penguin actually found out! "AH-AH-AH-AH-AH! How right you _tru-u-u-u-uly_ are! But never mind that now. I do have an important question to ask you, Skipper. "

"Well? What is it?"

"How do you _live_ with yourself?" Blowhole asked. "Kno-"

"Well, normally a nice cup of Joe every morning helps me to-"

"Excuse me! I wasn't finished!" the dolphin shouted.

"Oh." Skipper said. "Go on then."

"Thank you! Now…as I was saying before I was so ru-u-u-u-udely interrupted…" Blowhole went on, restoring his grin and going around the penguin in slow prowling circles. "How do you live with yourself, Skipper? How do you live with yourself knowing someone's blood is on your _tiny_ little flippers? Hm?"

"What are you-"

"How does it _feel _knowing that because of you, someone is dead? Hans trusted you, you know, and I'm sure he expected better of you too. As did I at one point. Is this a habit of yours, Skipper? Disappointing the people closest to you?"

"Now h-hang on just a minute-!" Skipper stammered.

"Hans couldn't hang on when they killed him now, could he?"

"What are you_ saying _here?"

"What I'm saying is quite clear. Any mammal with a brain bigger than a peng-you-ins body could see that you are the reason they killed that _poor _puffin."

"You never even_ liked_ Hans!"

Blowhole faked a surprised gasp. "And that _matters?_ Selfish, Skipper! Just selfish!"

"Is _this _why you brought me out here?"

"What? You don't like talking about past events?"

"I try not to." The leader answered truthfully, irritated.

"Right, I forgot. You'd rather run from your past than face it."

"I don't run from anything!" Skipper shouted back.

"Then why'd you leave Denmark?"

"I'm not allowed back there!"

"Leave it to you to infuriate a whole co-o-o-ountry, and then run from it. You're almost a big a coward as that stupid puffin."

From behind the bush, the three hiding penguins gasped in horror, quietly voicing their reactions.

"Oh dear…" Private covered his beak with his flippers, horror-struck. He's never heard anyone dare to speak to his leader that way before.

"Uh no he di'nt!" Rico exclaimed as quietly and as ghetto as he could muster.

"This…" Kowalski started. "…is not going to end well if my calculations are correct…"

"_EXCUSE ME?!"_ shouted Skipper.

"And they are…" Kowalski squeaked meekly, ready to see the fireworks.


End file.
